How to get rid of guy harassing friend

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 2:50 pm

I have a friend who worked in the field of events/parties.
2 years ago she worked at a fundraiser and this guy that was also working there as part of the crew started following her, harassing her with nasty messages on Instagram. She closed her IG account so he started calling her phone. She kept ignoring, blocking his number but he just didn’t give up. He showed up at other events that she was working at but he wasn’t hired for.
He still keeps calling her from various google numbers, he “somehow” always finds out where she is and just shows up.
This friend never initiated anything, she wants nothing with him but it seems like he’s following her every move to the point where she’s afraid of her own shadow.
She called the cops they said they can’t do anything unless there is physical abuse.
What else can be done so this guy stops harassing her, is there a diff organization or person that can help??

sequoia

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 2:56 pm

Why would the cops say that?

She can get an order of protection and if he violates it, a restraining order.

Stalking and harassment are illegal.

Ema of 5

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 3:14 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

As if it's that easy.
It's not.

But she can at least start the process.
If there is a shomrim type group where she lives, she can call them for suggestions as well.

sequoia

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 3:15 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

As if it's that easy.
It's not.

I know a girl in Brooklyn who had a restraining order against her ex-bf. He wasn’t allowed to approach her or her house.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 3:17 pm

sequoia wrote:

I know a girl in Brooklyn who had a restraining order against her ex-bf. He wasn’t allowed to approach her or her house.

permanent or temporary?

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 3:55 pm

He arrived to public places where she is, one day she was going about her business running errands, as she’s sitting by the traffic light she notices this guy in the car next to her staring into her window. What will a restraining order help for such scenarios? I advised her to call Chaverim but she said she does not know if they can help with anything. She’s in NY this guy lives in NJ.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:13 pm

She should take out her phone and obviously start filming him.
If he has common sense he will turn away.
There are also stalker accounts on Instagram that spread the picture of stalkers to get them to stop.

ra_mom

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:19 pm

How horrible.
She needs to start filming. She should narrate while taking the video this guy keeps stalking me, it is Monday April 12 at 4:15, I'm at xyz, and he just arrived to set up even though he wasn't hired.
She should inform her colleagues so they know and are also able to back her up so she has the confidence to film.
Keep compiling. Send the videos to others for safekeeping.
And start an order of protection case with the videos.

Last edited by ra_mom on Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:21 pm

OP, is this guy frum? If so you can get Jewish organizations involved.

If your friend will get a restraining order then the guy will likely get scared off and might stop all the way.

Stalking is very hard to prove.

In order to get a restraining order for stalking which is nowadays illegal , she needs to buy a calendar with a square space for each day, for this. Then write into each box the time and what happened that day. For example: "called me from this and this telephone number at 8:11am". Or "followed me through isle number 2 and 3 in Evergreen Supermarket at 2:34pm till 2:42pm. Try to be as exact as possible.

After let's say 8 weeks, take it to the police. This will be the evidence and it is sufficient for them to see that the guy is a criminal.

yksraya

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:22 pm

Maybe she should contact some of his older family members (uncles, etc) or his former rosh yeshiva, their family rav etc. that can put some pressure on him to stop. If his own circles are aware of it they might take care of the matter.

PearlyGee

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:23 pm

The creepy part is how does he know where she is all the time. Someone who I used to work with went through a divorce and eventually found out she was being followed the whole time her ex placed a hidden tracking device under her car

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 4:57 pm

ra_mom wrote:

This is a great idea. Just be careful if he's a dangerous guy. My malignant narcissistic stalker would likely have said that the videos are proof that I'm stalking him and I'm just lying with the statements on the video. Proving thereby that I'm 1)stalking him. 2)a liar.

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:09 pm

ra_mom wrote:

This is a good idea. I will let her know. Thing is that she’s so scared of him and freezes every time He passes her, she becomes like jello and can’t move.

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:10 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Yes he is a VERY from guy. Othello type of guy.
Thanks for your suggestion I will let her know.

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:13 pm

yksraya wrote:

SHE HAS NO IDEA WHO HE IS OR WHO HIS FAMILY IS.
She knows nothing about him other than that he worked for a certain vendor that had hired her as wel for the same event. This is going on 2 years! He must be super psycho for not giving up, she never gives him the recognition, his number is blocked and even when he uses google numbers she doesn’t answer or reply to his stupid disgusting WhatsApp memes.

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:14 pm

PearlyGee wrote:

This is what freaks her out the most! How does he know where she is??? She thinks he must of placed a tracker on her phone or something.

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:15 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

What Jewish organizations can help with an issue like this?