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My almost two year old makes me stand with him all day!

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:02 am
My almost two year old makes me stand with him all day! He wants to be held with me standing up! When I sit he screams like he’s in pain? And ofcourse entering my third trimester not sure how much longer my back will let me do this! He is so hard!
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oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:04 am
Could be he is in pain?
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:05 am
Set boundaries.
"Mommy can hold you when I'm sitting"
"It hurts me when I stand and hold you, but I can hold you when I'm sitting down. Do you want to sit on my lap on the couch or on the chair?"
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:06 am
That sounds really difficult. You need to work on getting him used to some independence. He is not a baby anymore! This is especially important to do BEFORE you have another baby so that he does not feel he is being replaced. At his age, he should be able to understand "Mommy needs to sit, lay down, fold the laundry... now. When I am done, we can play together or read a book...." Please start this right away and be consistent, even if he screams. He will get used to it and you will both be much happier in the long run!
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:11 am
Same story here. Except I’m not pregnant. Bh he’s starting playgroup next yr. but until then it’s torture. If I don’t hold him or I’m mom not down on his level he will pull in my legs. Sorry I have no advice just sympathy.
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amother




Rose
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:13 am
You need to teach your child limits asap.
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amother




Cerise
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:42 am
He’s in for a rude awakening when the baby comes.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:42 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My almost two year old makes me stand with him all day! He wants to be held with me standing up! When I sit he screams like he’s in pain? And ofcourse entering my third trimester not sure how much longer my back will let me do this! He is so hard!


Same! My 18 mnth yr old literally would have a tantrum if I put her down.
If I sit down she would yell. The only place she is happy is when she sits on a chair or the table.

Her favorite spots are the counter and the table.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 10:56 am
My son is the same way with my husband. I tell him tatty has to eat/do something tatty will hold you later.

He won’t let me hold him. He wriggles out of my arms and goes to my husband and freaks until my husband picks him up. Could be separation anxiety idk

But he’s happy with his toys but must have someone playing with him.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 11:07 am
Your toddler (who should be standing on his own two feet by now) is not "making" you do anything.

You have allowed yourself to be trained by him, and now you do what he says. This is not the best way to parent. You must remember that you are the adult in the house, and part of being an adult is setting limits and creating good behavior.

Let him cry. Let him tantrum. Let him stomp his feet. It won't kill him. Once he realizes you mean business he'll get tired of it and calm down. As soon as he is calm, do something fun with him. He will start to realize that good behavior gets your attention, and clingy behavior does not.

Just think about all of the exercise his little legs need to develop properly. He needs to work those muscles in order to grow, and if he never touches the ground, then you are depriving him of that.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 11:15 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
Your toddler (who should be standing on his own two feet by now) is not "making" you do anything.



This.

We all want to do what we can to make our children feel safe and loved and cared for. But we don't have to let them hold us hostage. Remember who is in charge. Or rather, who should be.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 11:38 am
sometimes it could be a need isnt met -had a one year old that had a bad diaper rash and couldnt sleep instead wantesnto be held standing. or another need hungry or thirsty, want to see the food drinks on the counter. tired and refuses to go to sleep. If child just spoiled because it becamr routine or thats how you trained him he needs some untraining. Try these: when you work put him on a tall stool thats your height level. or sit him in the high chair. in addition make one time of day that you hold him. (howeelver you will eventually need to wean him from that)
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 11:42 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
Your toddler (who should be standing on his own two feet by now) is not "making" you do anything.

You have allowed yourself to be trained by him, and now you do what he says. This is not the best way to parent. You must remember that you are the adult in the house, and part of being an adult is setting limits and creating good behavior.

Let him cry. Let him tantrum. Let him stomp his feet. It won't kill him. Once he realizes you mean business he'll get tired of it and calm down. As soon as he is calm, do something fun with him. He will start to realize that good behavior gets your attention, and clingy behavior does not.

Just think about all of the exercise his little legs need to develop properly. He needs to work those muscles in order to grow, and if he never touches the ground, then you are depriving him of that.


A Million Likes.

Parents - you do NOT have to follow your children's orders - even if they tantrum!

By giving in to tantrums, you are teaching kids that the way to CONTROL parents is by tantrum.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 11:44 am
It sounds like he might be sensory, too. Think about getting him a swing, so he can have the hanging feeling. Also, wrap him tight in a blanket, to get the feeling of arms wrapped around him.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 12:55 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Your toddler (who should be standing on his own two feet by now) is not "making" you do anything.

You have allowed yourself to be trained by him, and now you do what he says. This is not the best way to parent. You must remember that you are the adult in the house, and part of being an adult is setting limits and creating good behavior.

Let him cry. Let him tantrum. Let him stomp his feet. It won't kill him. Once he realizes you mean business he'll get tired of it and calm down. As soon as he is calm, do something fun with him. He will start to realize that good behavior gets your attention, and clingy behavior does not.

Just think about all of the exercise his little legs need to develop properly. He needs to work those muscles in order to grow, and if he never touches the ground, then you are depriving him of that.


Yes. My husband plays a game with my son where he chases my son and then my son chases him back.
We’re working on not holding him so much. He’s okay with me not holding him. He wants out the crib and cries when I can’t take him out cuz I’m washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom or floor or whatever. Gotta be in sight of him. It’s getting better with me. He Bh cries and calms down after a minute after I tell him I’m coming back. Though he won’t let my husband do ANYTHING; my son is FREAKING OUT if my husband turns to the door to daven mincha/maariv or go to the store.
He says “NO!” And starts screeching his little head off.
Our landlords say they can hear my son screaming all day. They’re elderly and live on the floor above us. I guess they hear everything. We tell them everything’s okay but the landlord still brings it up to us
“Your baby screaming all day”

Not all day but come on he’s a baby.
I do feel terrible though. They wake up quite early and go to sleep early.
🙃
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amother




Gray
 

Post Fri, Apr 16 2021, 1:32 pm
I had this with one of my kids. It was hard. I had to put up a babygate in the doorway so he can cry outside the room while I get anything done. He learned eventually. Very Happy

But what's strange about your story is that he specifically wants you to stand? Do you have any idea why that is? Does he have a rigid personality in general that he needs thing his way? If he's in pain, why standing help?
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