Already spoiled? Update

amother

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:10 pm

I need some good solid advice please.

My baby is 5 weeks old. He seems to already be 'spoiled' and only calms down by nursing.
This is not my first but most didn't take pacifiers. I've been trying since the hospital and he only takes it some times but never when he's hysterical.

Example:
He had a big diaper, I changed him and fed him and burped him. He was loose and very content. We went out, he fell asleep in the car. We got to the store and 5 minutes into shopping he started screaming. I tried everything to calm him down - holding in different positions, burping, shushing, a pacifier... and he just screamed and screamed until I ran to the car and nursed him for 1 minute. He fell asleep and stayed down for 3 plus hours. This happens also at home. Right after eating, he'll be ok for a few minutes. I'll put him in the swing or whatever and he starts screaming and won't calm down till I nurse him for a minute.

I can't afford to be his pacifier!

Is it possible he's already spoiled?

Any and all advice appreciated!

amother

Beige

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:13 pm

A child that age can't even link cause and effect. It's impossible to spoil him. Do what you have to do. It's hard now, but he'll grow out of this stage.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:14 pm

I know you don't want to hear this but maybe take a bottle with you. He may need formula as he is having a growth spurt. Supplementing a bit may only be temporary until your milk supply increases.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:15 pm

There is no such thing as a spoiled baby. They are not neurologically capable of understanding cause and effect at that age. (A baby cannot "manipulate you", either.)

What you have is a hungry baby. If you cannot be available to nurse, then consider pumping milk and getting him used to a bottle. His crying is never his fault!

ETA: I see I cross posted.

amother

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:18 pm

trixx wrote:

Omg!! You cannot spoil a baby!! He's a newborn!!

Then what should I do? Just run out to nurse him when he screams? All he's doing is sucking for a minute and falling asleep. He's not hungry. I'm literally his pacifier.
I need practical advice.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:20 pm

It is impossible to spoil a newborn. They are only crying because they have needs. Same with other users, I suggest pumping and bottle feeding for when you are out. My baby ate round the clock and it was a lifesaver to be able to take bottles with me

amother

Gray

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Then what should I do? Just run out to nurse him when he screams? All he's doing is sucking for a minute and falling asleep. He's not hungry. I'm literally his pacifier.
I need practical advice.

Your baby needs you. Is there a reason why this is triggering you so badly? What so wrong with giving your baby something that we women were designed to do?

If you're "too busy", then maybe you need to rearrange your priorities.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Then what should I do? Just run out to nurse him when he screams? All he's doing is sucking for a minute and falling asleep. He's not hungry. I'm literally his pacifier.
I need practical advice.

If he’s out of his mind and falls asleep that quickly he’s likely overtired. Are you making sure to get him to sleep within 1-1.5 hours since his last wake time? Any longer and he’ll be over tired and won’t be able to sort himself out

amother

Burlywood

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:22 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Responses like these are the very definition of ‘sanctimommy’

Take a re read of the last few lines of your post to realize how judgmental you sound.

MH25

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:24 pm

Usually it means the baby is tired.
I came across chaya shifra sadoff on akeras habayis hotline by my last child and it was a life saver.
https://www.chayashifra.com/

amother

Jetblack

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Then what should I do? Just run out to nurse him when he screams? All he's doing is sucking for a minute and falling asleep. He's not hungry. I'm literally his pacifier.
I need practical advice.

I had this too. I pumped.

If I knew I was going out the next day, I would keep the milk in the fridge, otherwise I stocked up my freezer. I pumped after almost every nursing session and it increased my milk supply to account for the extra milk. The sooner you start this the better.

I never worried about going out, because I always had a bottle with me so if he got hungry I didnt need to drop everything. Makes life so much easier!

amother

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:27 pm

A big thank you to the women who answered nicely and respectfully. I appreciate it.

Like I said, he is not hungry. He was happy and content right before. Then he got woken up and will only go back to sleep by sucking on me for 1 minute. He's not even swallowing.

Is there a pacifier brand similar to me??? Would definitely try it. I have tried a few different brands/shapes.

amother

Amber

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:30 pm

Babies need to nurse for comfort. It took me a while to wrap my head around this too as I was always timing feeds and insisting “but he’s not hungry.” You’re right, he probably he isn’t. He’s been in this world for five weeks and he wants a little comfort. I’m sorry it’s so hard, I get it Sad

the stage will pass.

amother

Lilac

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:30 pm

My baby has reflux and just needs a few sips to calm her throat. All of a sudden she will get hysterical when it happens. I took a bit of time to figure out that’s sometimes she vomits a lot and sometimes it’s just in her throat and she needs just a few sips. Also overtired babies can get upset. Try bottles of your baby is willing to take it. One ounce might be all he needs.

amother

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:34 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Definitely not reflux. I had a kid with reflux. This one bh hardly spits up.

stillnewlywed

Thu, May 20 2021, 12:50 pm

Sounds like he's crying because he's tired and needs a little help from you to fall asleep. At that age some babies can only be up for an hour at a time.