Some Hashkafah teachers mess up kids.................

amother

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 11:56 am

I have kids that went to BY of BP- not a fanatic school at all, and they are reminded constantly with negative feelings, about teachers there giving them serious nightmares by saying- if you don't do this or that.... you'll burn in Gehenom...for dumb things like brushing hair on Shabbos, etc. IMO-They did more damage with causing nightmares! If only all teachers could be like R' Eli Teitelbaum A"H. Fortunately , some are and unfortunately some are the other kind, turning kids off.

This is a post on Yeshivaworld.com about R' Eli Teitelbaum:

Quote:

My son was in Sdei Chemed this summer and had the greatest summer of his life. I desperately wanted to meet Reb Eli in person, and went to the reunion with my son just a week and a half ago, but he wasn?t there. I wasn?t zocheh to meet this adam gadol. Vay l?avdin vlo mishtakchin.His gadlus was how he could relate to every child from every background. He was able to do this because of his deep ahavas hatorah, ahavas yisroel and ahavas eretz yisroel. His yiddishkeit was not based on supernatural or esoteric concepts which have no meaning to kids, but on application of the beauty of yiddishkeit to day to day life. The kids saw the joy of avodas hashem in everything they did. He figured out so many joyful and educational activities to inspire them. All the boys got along no matter what their background. He understood the modern American kid, and knew that they are action oriented, and he gave them plenty of Torah action. He understood the koach of shira, and encouraged all kinds of singing and musical talent.
All the boys went away with a love of yiddishkeit. He understood the way to keep kids on the derech. Not by threatening them with gehenom, but by showing them how beautiful and how much fun the Torah way of life is. When one?s heart is full of love for each movement and when one doesn?t waste his energy in fighting with other groups, he brings an achdus which is infectious and picked up by all around him.

May he be a meilitz yosher in shomayim, but more importantly, may his work continue right down here on earth so that those boys who weren?t zocheh to meet him, will still be able to benefit from all the good he has done. May his family have a nechama knowing how many others are mourning with him. May they and all klal yisroel only know simchas.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:07 pm

Threatening can work with some. Making them love it will work with all.
I also remember hearing it's better to do mitzvos out of love than out of fear.

amother

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:09 pm

People don't brush hair on Shabbos?

amother

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:14 pm

amother wrote:

I have kids that went to BY of BP- not a fanatic school at all,

Not a fanatic school? compared to what? BY of Neturei Karta maybe ...then theyre "liberal." I know 25 30 years ago, it was considered "mainstream" (my MIL went there and her family is NOT typical "BYBP material" of 2008!). But today? I think they are considered more "fanatic" in comparison to the other brooklyn bais yaakovs.

I taught there for one year and I saw this attitude clearly among some of my colleagues. albeit there were women there were were intelligent, educated, and "open minded" (for BP standards, that is), I found the hanhalah as a whole, as well as many of the teachers, to really hold that type of extremist attitude, I couldnt take it and I quit after one year. The school is like a robot factory. whatever, I know what youre talking about and I agree.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:16 pm

unknotting hair is not ok

sunshine!

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:21 pm

I have memories of BYHS, and teachers who called girls Apikores to their face for questioning things they didn't understand, and the teachers were ill-equpped to answer. It can leave an indelible print on a childs heart and mind forever. I say that if a teacher feels they can't answer a question of hashkafa they should provide the resources that could. Many a child has turned of the derech from being publicly embarrased, because they wanted to understand. I had teachers make outlandish statements, that Torah did not back up, but if I questioned I was told to stop challenging Torah and Yiddishkeit and to learn to accept

amother

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:24 pm

The teachers in BY of BP said "Brush now, burn later".

Also, a female principal in Machon, was quoted by my daughters ho heard it firsthand, as saying- "Be Cool now, Burn for it later".

There's obviously a lot of that talk around Brooklyn schools.

I wonder if Chassidic schoolteachers say anything similar.

gold21

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:25 pm

forget it, the schools today are so messed up!
positive parenting is becoming big B"H, what about positive teaching in the school system...? nope, its all negativity and uch...
the schools that are somewhat more positive tend to be more modern according to my standards, and so.....
what are my options? a school that has a really bad way of teaching kids, or a modern school. yay, looking forward Confused

su7kids

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:27 pm

amother wrote:

I wonder if Chassidic schoolteachers say anything similar.

I know Chabad Chassidus doesn't teach that way. We are taught "Ivdu Es Hashem b'Simcha" and the more "simcha" the better!!!

We talk about rewards and mitzvos, not gehenom.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 12:29 pm

sunshine! wrote:

that + hitting turned off many great minds from frumkeit
of course by the non frum it was ok to ask questions and also to learn... so they left - just because the teachers were indeed far from brilliant Exploding anger

Mevater

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 1:28 pm

What about teachers telling girls that when Moshiach comes all non-Jews will be our slaves and things like that. DH says that's NOT accurate!

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 1:31 pm

from what I see, hear and know, if you put in Jewish school you'll have kids taught similar things. Even really non frum youth clubs/groups implicitly (or not) look (very) down on the non jews.

Maya

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 2:30 pm

amother wrote:

And here I thought that Chassidic schools were the only ones teaching like that. And I agree with the OP. My husband complains about it and he saw it in the yeshivas, too. He also claims that this might be a reason why some turn away.

marina

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 2:37 pm

I would take my child out of that school the next day, if any of these things were said to him or her. Sickness.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 3:12 pm

marina wrote:

I would take my child out of that school the next day, if any of these things were said to him or her. Sickness.

you may have a hard time finding a Jewish school where it never happens...

gryp

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 3:21 pm

Maya wrote:

amother wrote:

Is it really like that in other Chassidic schools?
In Lubavitch, I never even gave the punishments for aveiros a thought, until one day we got up to the Perek in Tanya that explains which punishments are for which aveiros. I think that was in 11th grade.

What good does it really do to threaten with Gehinnom, Kaf Hakelah, Chibbut HaKever, etc? It's not like we can really relate to these punishments, these are punishments that make the Neshama itself suffer in order to cleanse it before entering Olam Haba.

chaylizi

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 4:23 pm

this might sound odd. but a rav in my (mainstream BY school) told us that gehenom is a present from Hashem. That we have an opportunity to be mechaper for our wrongdoings in the relatively "short" time period of 11 months. No one in my school ever told us we would burn if we did such and such. Frankly, I'm shocked that these kids don't come home and have nightmares after they go to bed.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 4:26 pm

isn't that 12 months?

chaylizi

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 4:29 pm

nope kaddish is said for 11 months for an aliyah for the neshamah of the deceased to get out of gehinnom

Mevater

Mon, Mar 24 2008, 4:37 pm

If were all nauseated by it, why do the teachers think it's a good tool to get the kids to have Yiras Shomayim?