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How did your parents treat you POLL
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Poll

How did your parents treat you as a child?
My parents loved and cherished me.  
 38%  [ 68 ]
My parents loved me but couldn't express it  
 19%  [ 34 ]
My parents made many mistakes but it did not rise to the level of abuse or mistreatment  
 16%  [ 29 ]
My parents mistreated me  
 7%  [ 14 ]
My parents abused me  
 8%  [ 16 ]
My parents severely abused me  
 6%  [ 11 ]
Other  
 3%  [ 6 ]
Total Votes : 178


amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:51 am
A poll to see how imas were treated by their parents.
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amother




Buttercup
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:53 am
My parents loved and cherished and abused me. Not Maliciousness, just severe mental health issues.
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:09 am
My parents loved me but couldn’t express it properly. Never said I love you but mother was physicially affectionate (also yelled a lot and was angry so it sort of canceled out).

And

Mistreated me I.e. Emotional abuse/neglect, constant criticism, very little talk of emotions, overbearing/controlling in an unhealthy way, felt largely ignored, bad marriage with constant yelling/fighting through my elementary years, and some minor physical abuse when younger (no marks)
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:12 am
amother [ Winterberry ] wrote:
My parents loved me but couldn’t express it properly. Never said I love you but mother was physicially affectionate (also yelled a lot and was angry so it sort of canceled out).

And

Mistreated me I.e. Emotional abuse/neglect, constant criticism, very little talk of emotions, overbearing/controlling in an unhealthy way, felt largely ignored, bad marriage with constant yelling/fighting through my elementary years, and some minor physical abuse when younger (no marks)


Same. its so hard.

Being a parent now, I hope to do better
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amother




Cinnamon
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:16 am
If only I had parents…
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amother




Winterberry
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:17 am
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
Same. its so hard.

Being a parent now, I hope to do better


Therapy for the past three years has helped me. Unfortunately because of my upbringing, I needed therapy to learn to be a more open and less suppressed person. I had already worked on myself before marriage to get rid of the criticism. I went into marriage saying I won’t be like my mother was to my father and me (my father wasn’t innocent either) and have worked hard with the help of a couple therapists to make that happen.
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amother




Darkblue
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:21 am
amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:
My parents loved and cherished and abused me. Not Maliciousness, just severe mental health issues.


Similar. My parents loved and cherished and abused me. Combination of mental health issues and other personality disorder type issues.

It's not all so black and white.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:35 am
Yeah life and relationships are a lot more complicated than this poll
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:38 am
Loved and cherished us and made a bunch of mistakes but overall have great kids.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:40 am
My parents loved me but it was a hard home life emotionally because of their less-than-ideal marriage.
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amother




Marigold
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:52 am
amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:
My parents loved and cherished and abused me. Not Maliciousness, just severe mental health issues.


This. There’s no option for this.

They loved us, cared for us, showed us they loved us. Took care of our physical fans some emotional needs. They also emotionally and verbally abused us as well.
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dena613




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:57 am
Parents loved and cherished me, and also screamed at me and punished me... It wasn't all roses
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gootlfriends




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 11:01 am
There should be an option with a parent- mom vs dad- because my mother had a very different parenting approach from my father. Neither was abusive but one was more warmer than the other.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 11:28 am
Parents loved and cherished us kids and each other. I grew up in a very happy home. My parents are my role models. I wish I could be more like them! Of course they aren't perfect but they always tried their best and they were always growing in their parenting and their Yiddishkeit. Thank you Hashem, and thank you OP for reminding me I have so much to be grateful for.
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amother




Raspberry
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 12:14 pm
Zehava wrote:
Yeah life and relationships are a lot more complicated than this poll


Yup.

My father was severely abusive but my mother was just a dysfunctional pathetic mess. She loves me but can't really do anything to show it cuz she's barely surviving.
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amother




Begonia
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 12:16 pm
Don’t all parents make mistakes? I know I love and cherish my kids but that I’m making mistakes daily
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 12:19 pm
amother [ Begonia ] wrote:
Don’t all parents make mistakes? I know I love and cherish my kids but that I’m making mistakes daily


Yes. I was going to say that all parents make mistakes.
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amother




Lightgray
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:11 pm
amother [ Buttercup ] wrote:
My parents loved and cherished and abused me. Not Maliciousness, just severe mental health issues.

My mother is abusive, my father always loved and cherished me.
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tp3




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 2:01 pm
Zehava wrote:
Yeah life and relationships are a lot more complicated than this poll

You bet!
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 2:02 pm
OP, can you please pm me? Only if you're comfortable.
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