If you have no man at home do you have a sukka?

amother

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:09 pm

My children are young so I didn't see why I need to have a sukka. Also our minhag is women do not eat in the sukka even if there is place.

Just wondering what other people do.

amother

Brass

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My children are young so I didn't see why I need to have a sukka. Also our minhag is women do not eat in the sukka even if there is place. But my children are very sad and I'm second guessing the decision to have no sukka. They made things they want to hang up and dining room isn't good enough for them. I have an indoor sukka so I may call someone to open it.

Just wondering what other people do.

Do it for your kids nothing to lose. If it's not hard for you.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:18 pm

amother [ Brass ] wrote:

Do it for your kids nothing to lose. If it's not hard for you.

Do you think it's hard for a single mother of little kids to make a sukkah or not?

ra_mom

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:22 pm

It's very hard to make generally. If you'll be eating the meals out in someone else's sukkah, then BE"H they're not missing out much of the Sukkos feeling (hopefully they can send their decoration before YT to have hung up by caring in a individuals before they get there for the meal).

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

ra_mom

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:24 pm

If you're eating all meals at home, maybe one year you'd want to try out this cool DIY sukkah. It needs some planning and prep in order to purchase the materials.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2MrWmAEEAow

amother

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:25 pm

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

Do you think it's hard for a single mother of little kids to make a sukkah or not?

I have an indoor sukka it's not physically hard but I wouldn't open it unless a Rav told me I'm required to, especially since women don't eat in the sukka by us.

amother

Brass

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:25 pm

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

Do you think it's hard for a single mother of little kids to make a sukkah or not?

I'm assuming if she asks she has a way. She has a indoor sukka. If she's Divorced with one or two children It's possible... again I'm assuming and I'm saying if it's not hard.

amother

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:27 pm

amother [ Brass ] wrote:

I'm assuming if she asks she has a way. She has a indoor sukka. If she's Divorced with one or two children It's possible... again I'm assuming and I'm saying if it's not hard.

I have a lot of little children keh, but I was just wondering what other people do, I don't think I'll open my sukka.

amother

Brass

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have an indoor sukka it's not physically hard but I wouldn't open it unless a Rav told me I'm required to, especially since women don't eat in the sukka by us.

No need a rov.. you don't need one.. your children will appreciate. You are able to do it? Do it if it's hard Don't..

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:29 pm

This is my first year spending sukkos alone as a single parent. I wanted to keep the sukkos spirit, so I invited us out to a neighbor for a meal, and to an aunt for another one.
I also asked a couple of neighbors (young couples) if they're going out for any meals if I can borrow their sukkah for that meal, and one said yes. The last meal we'll just eat indoors.
I'm hoping one day to have more space (physical space, and mental headspace) to build my own sukkah.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 8:37 pm

Can you decorate without opening the sukkah? If you can’t because it’s not physically possible or you don’t have the time or energy I think it’s totally fine.

amother

Pear

Sun, Sep 19 2021, 11:21 pm

I was raised by a single mother and we always had a sukkah. It was VERY important to my mother that we feel like every other family. In our community there are no apartment buildings, everyone has a house and a sukkah. We also eat every meal and snack in the sukkah with the whole family.
Females always eat the sukkah as well but I had brothers and my mother didn't want them to feel strange even if they were under bar mitzvah.
We invited company and felt like a "normal" family.
We all love the holiday of Sukkot.

She paid someone to build our sukkah until we kids got old enough to help her.

amother

Vanilla

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 12:13 am

I live in a place where not many people have their own sukkah. Some buildings with sizable numbers of frum tenants have a building sukkah and usually people pay the super to put it up, or people eat in their shul's sukkah if there is one. Many people rely on just having kiddush in their shul's sukkah because that's the best they can do. It's a shverer golus.

amother

Azure

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 12:52 am

not a requirement but I did it because my kids were going to school with other kids and this way they wouldnt' be left out of conversations about everyone eating in their sukka.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 1:27 am

Last year dh helped raise money and built a sukkah for a single mom with only girls. You cannot imagine the girls faces when they saw they had a real sukkah. They went to decorate it and were so happy.

If there’s anyone who helps single mothers in the community why don’t you ask for your children?

amother

Lightgreen

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 1:46 am

I don't have a minhag to never eat in the sukkah so it's hard for me to identify with what you're saying but yes, I've always had one. And I only have girls. But I love building it, the kids love decorating it, and now my older ones sleep in it but even when they were too young to, we'd enjoy piling blankets and pillows in and just hanging out there. I don't know how else you'd experience the specialness of Sukkot without having a sukkah.

amother

Electricblue

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 2:47 am

I would make every effort to have a sukkah for the chinuch of the children, so that it won't be strange for them when they grow up and so that they won't be left out when all their friends talk about their sukkot.
If at all possible, I would even ask a rav if, given the special situation, you can eat with them in the sukkah, for chinuch, even if normally women don't eat there in your community.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 11:05 am

The PopUp Sukkah is the greatest invention in the world! Even with my health issues, I can throw it together in just a few minutes.

Some of my favorite memories with DD were in the sukkah, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. For me, Sukkot is nothing but pure joy, and I love having that physical representation of the mitzva.

I'm a mosquito magnet so I won't be sleeping in it, but having morning coffee there is really priceless.

mom!

Mon, Sep 20 2021, 11:27 am

amother [ Ghostwhite ] wrote:

You sound like a strong person and a wonderful mother! Have a beautiful yomtov!