I did IVF - AMA | Imamother

amother

Tulip

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:03 am

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

the same thing happend to me then we found out he had a low sperm count he had an operation
and did iui and got pregnant then a year later I got pregnant with no help and had twins

My husband has low sperm count and we failed with clomid and iuis and bh I'm pregnant with #1 through ivf I'm wondering why they didn't suggest the surgery for him maybe we should do it for the next kids imh

amother

Marigold

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:08 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

I'm assuming that you are talking about surgery for a varicocele. Your husband has to have one for them to do surgery. My husband had surgery for it years ago and it came back. He had a repeat surgery also. Neither surgery helped his count.

amother

Violet

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:09 am

amother [ Marigold ] wrote:

Do you live in a state with a mandate? I first exhausted my work insurance, then bought insurance from the exchange (exhausted that coverage), repeat for different insurances on the exchange until exhausted. The premiums are expensive, but worth it if you do multiple cycles of IVF. Some centers have discounts if you have a lower income. Some centers have shared risk, which may not be worth it if IVf works for you. But if you are the wrong side of percentages, it can be a huge cost savings. There are ways to get somewhat cheaper drugs if you shop around. There are centers that are cheaper also. I was lucky, bH and rarely paid sticker price for a cycle, but there were times when I did (though probably about 22,000 including meds). Honestly, I did it over many, many, many years. I did more cycles during years when I had insurance. I was also lucky because BH I have a good job, but the only way I afford it was barely spending on anything else (living in a super cheap apartment, spending very little on food or clothes (if any), no self care, etc.) My income also increased over hte years. We joked it was our tuition payments if we had a normal sized family (though I would rather pay tuition). Also insurance pays less per cycle than self pay, because they have discounts, so 30K may cover more cycles.

So helpful thanks!

amother

Tulip

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:12 am

amother [ Marigold ] wrote:

Oh I have no clue anything about that just my husband has a pretty low count and we weren't conceiving naturally

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:17 am

amother [ Gladiolus ] wrote:

A month is very much best case scenario that assumes no priming and a fresh transfer. For a lot of people, a full cycle takes longer than a month. If you’re doing any sort of suppression / priming before retrieval, you need to start the cycle before. If you can’t do a fresh transfer (for example if you want to genetically test embryos before transfer, or are at risk of OHSS, etc), then you have to wait until the following cycle for a transfer. So even with no issues / problems, a standard cycle at my clinic ends up being more like 3-4 months.

Correct.

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:24 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Op, I might have to do ivf..... I’ll have a definite answer in a couple of weeks when my blood results come back.. in the event that I do need to do it I’m asking this question because I’m a NERVOUS WRECK!!!! At retrieval, when they sedated you, were you put on monitors?

IVF may be an exhausting process (though it may be less exhausting for you than having to keep trying less-invasive treatments that just don’t work). But if you do need to do IVF, remember that it’s doable. It takes a while to come to terms with it but you can do it!
Remember to treat yourself kindly, and whatever you can do to make yourself feel whole and loved, do for yourself. And as you see here on this thread, friends often truly care and want to be there for you. A good friend can support you through it even if they don’t personally struggle with IF.

As to your question, honestly I cannot recall… I’d assume so.

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:26 am

amother [ Marigold ] wrote:

So I agree with you that they automatically assume that the problem is with the women, but at least mine tested the man early as part of a procedure.

I think it depends on the center and time.

Most good centers test the men as part of routine. I went straight to IVF due to male factor.

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:28 am

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Do you have insurance ? What did they cover?

I just found out my insurance covers up to $30K, but from the #s here, seems like that would only be one cycle, if we get to that point (still on meds + timed intercourse, davening we won't have to go further).

Our insurance covered zero. Not even bloodwork. I worked with an insurance broker but we couldn’t get any insurance that would cover.

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:30 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

Surgery isn’t some magic potion. It’s only when medically necessary. I hope you have a counselor to guide you, and along with your doctors, find out if your husband needs it.

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 9:35 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

Op did you tell anyone that you did ivf?

Most people I’m good with know. I told my friends (some IF and one not), because I needed the support. Parents knew (although if we could turn the clock back, I wouldn’t tell them. My mother though I would. My husband’s family helped with our medical expenses which is why they knew but they weren’t very sensitive about it. Which is why I would rather save up and pay on our own and save our dignity along with it).

My siblings know as well. I felt that they were bound to find out sometime or other anyway, and I’d rather they don’t treat it as a taboo around me. So I’d rather they know that I know that they know, simply put.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks!!

amother

Clover

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:38 pm

amother [ Gladiolus ] wrote:

I know some people who are struggling for many many years with IF... Knowing how much an IVF cycle costs, I always wondered how many are done if someone is consistently trying. If it's done monthly, the numbers are simply mind-boggling.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:40 pm

amother [ Clover ] wrote:

I did 3 iui, 14 retrievals and 4 transfers over a 4 year period.

amother

Marigold

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:57 pm

amother [ Clover ] wrote:

I always wondered this too. Are people just not doing IVF or are they extremely unsucessful like me? I've typically averaged 3-4 a year when I had insurance and that was a lot. My stats are 1 IUI (where they realized that I had severe MF), and 20 something IVF retrievals (most with day 3 transfers, a couple with no transfers), and a couple FETs over many, many years (I.e. I'm AMA now). But BH the last one worked.

amother

Begonia

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:03 pm

Fellow IVF'er here!

Wanted to add regarding cost, I swallowed my pride and took help from Bonei Olam for my retrieval.
BH we got a few embryos so we got to freeze some for future. Keep in mind, there are yearly storage fees due so couples are not cycling at the moment are still paying the bills or payment plans/loans for earlier cycles.

To the poster who said she is moving back to USA soon, while BO may not pay for child #2, they do have centers with connections that may offer discounts on treatments. I think in my center it is 35%, it really adds up. Especially with multiple transfers! I am so grateful!

Edited to add: My insurance paid for consultations with doctors and some blood work/ultrasound. I have a pretty high deductible so I was paying a lot for medications as well. No IUI, IVF treatments or storage fees.

amother

Begonia

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:13 pm

amother [ Clover ] wrote:

It is really tough to cycle consistently. Think, this September was basically a lost month. Cycle treatment and monitoring generally start with your period. So if day 1 was Shabbos Chol Hamoed you possibly lost that month as well as there was no days to start treatment.

Emotionally of course, all those early morning wake ups, traveling, traffic TMI

Family simchas in those times are really hard!! Close wedding with many late night sheva brochos don't work well with 7:15am doc appointments.

mig100

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 3:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A failed IVF cycle?

I haven’t gone recently so maybe some things changed.
It varies by person, doctor and situation, but approximately,
Logistics and physical aspects:
Early morning appointments, including ultrasounds and bloodwork every 1-2 days. (Early morning can be around 6-7:00 - often to an office a distance away, so having to rise very early. By the time they get to work they are zonked already.)
Daily injections, some very painful ones.
Retrieval is under general anesthesia and can leave her in pain.
Oftentimes a struggle of finding sperm.
If any eggs fertilize, possibly embryo testing. Waiting to see if any embryos make it.
More daily injections, often quite painful.
Transfer, and then the difficult two week wait. (Did I miss anything?)
Oftentimes quite painful and vulnerable procedures.

This is just the standard, basic. Oftentimes there’s a lot more to it.

And this is only the physical part. The emotional toll this can take is so great.

One cycle is generally a month or so. Cost varies, I’d say between 20-40k. Imagine paying that much to go to the mikvah each time.

wow . just wow. thanks for posting this.

I am so grateful for each of my kids. reading this makes me realize how much I take for granted. we can all use a reminder

I literally am blown away that anyone can have the emotional energy to do this once, let alone many times. May you continue to have strength and nachas

amother

Zinnia

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 4:13 pm

Bonei Olam does provide help for secondary infertility, depending on the situation. They don't cover everything but part of it.

IVF is not always as expensive as mentioned here. My doctor's office charges 7700 for retrieval and 2100 for transfer. There's also the pharmacy and testing and some other fees but it's not 30k. More like 12 to 15k for the whole thing, but it can be done in stages. if you already have frozen eggs then you skip the retrieval part and you go to the transfer cycle which is less expensive. It's still a lot to go through but it's doable.

I did IVF, got pregnant but had a miscarriage. Now I skip the retrieval and go to transfer. I paid 2100 for the transfer and need to pay for pharmacy, which bonei olam helps with, but the pharmacy is hundreds not thousands, for the transfer cycle.

How many retrievals and transfers did you do to get pregnant and have a baby? I wonder how many retrievals and transfers are usually done per baby. (I hope mine will work this time!)

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 4:54 pm

I’m sure they monitor you when you are under sedation. There is an anesthesiologist. Its conscious sedation.

In a way - that was my favorite part - the first time I could relax the whole cycle was when I was finally at the retrieval! And then I got to finally sleep that whole day, after so many early mornings!