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S/o Are you part of the 'scotch coat' club?
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:06 am
As someone who can't even afford to buy CHEAP clothing for my kids (food stamps doesn't pay for clothes) I just need to know that there are others who understand. Dh and I work very very hard. We have both worked on getting degrees, and life circumstances (illness, special needs) have slammed is down again and again. Dh is finally finishing his training, and please please please Hashem will get a job that can at least help pay for bare necessities.
I'm just wondering if the Scotch Coat Club would even consider helping someone in their community buy normal-priced coats for their kids.
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small bean




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:07 am
Why dont you set up a go fundme. Im sure people will donate
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amother




Lightcyan
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:11 am
I don’t like this implication. I buy my kids nice clothing although nothing that expensive. We also give a lot of tzedaka. I really think it’s not ok to go around judging assuming people aren’t giving. We also give our nice clothing in perfect condition to families that need it.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:12 am
There are organizations who do this
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:12 am
That is a level of humiliation that I'm not ready to take on publicly. There are people that I'm close to who know our circumstances, but they are pretty much in the same boat as we are. When we badly need something (ex: a psych eval for ASD in order to get services) we reach out to the local Chessed fund.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:14 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That is a level of humiliation that I'm not ready to take on publicly. There are people that I'm close to who know our circumstances, but they are pretty much in the same boat as we are. When we badly need something (ex: a psych eval for ASD in order to get services) we reach out to the local Chessed fund.

That’s on you then, I guess. How would it be less humiliating to take directly from someone?
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:16 am
amother [ Lightcyan ] wrote:
I don’t like this implication. I buy my kids nice clothing although nothing that expensive. We also give a lot of tzedaka. I really think it’s not ok to go around judging assuming people aren’t giving. We also give our nice clothing in perfect condition to families that need it.


That is beautiful
Then I'm not talking about you
There are families who do not give much tzedaka, and rely on scholarships and family support to fund their kids wardrobes. And it bothers me so much.
I lived in kgh, where it's normal to own a Lexus SUV and send your kids to public school because your 'can't afford' the tuition.
Maybe I'm preaching to the choir.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:17 am
Zehava wrote:
That’s on you then, I guess. How would it be less humiliating to take directly from someone?


I was referring to the GoFundMe idea
Sorry meant to quote
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amother




Peony
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:22 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That is beautiful
Then I'm not talking about you
There are families who do not give much tzedaka, and rely on scholarships and family support to fund their kids wardrobes. And it bothers me so much.
I lived in kgh, where it's normal to own a Lexus SUV and send your kids to public school because your 'can't afford' the tuition.
Maybe I'm preaching to the choir.


What part of KGH?? I send my kids to YCQ and I have never seen a parent send to the public school unless they absolutely have to (the schools aren't the greatest). Maybe you mean the Bucharian "traditional" population?
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mompower




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:22 am
Op, your kids don’t have coats for this season?

I’d love to help if it’s something you would want.
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amother




Begonia
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:25 am
Op maybe reach out to bobbies place as they provide beautiful new Shabbos outfits for kids. I’m sorry you are going through this; it’s a painful place to be in.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:27 am
mompower wrote:
Op, your kids don’t have coats for this season?

I’d love to help if it’s something you would want.


You are so sweet
BH we have coats (yay landsend clearance!)
It's other things... I'll pm you if I can summon up the courage
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:31 am
Op, can we help you?
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mompower




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:35 am
You can pm me for anything else you might need.

I won’t ask for any details or anything.

I grew up so poor. I really feel your pain. At least some of it
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small bean




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:46 am
Im confused. You do have coats for your kids?
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amother




Bronze
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:52 am
I actually just bought my daughter's coat today, on sale from Macy's. They have coats under $50 today.
It's still a lot for me, as a single mom trying to earn a living while caring for the kids, but I know they'll be needing a coat soon and this is what makes sense for me.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:55 am
My kids clothing all comes from goodwill. I find northface coats with the tag on and I pass them down. No one has to know where they came from.
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amother




Trillium
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:55 am
small bean wrote:
Why dont you set up a go fundme. Im sure people will donate

That was nasty and uncalled for.
Empathy is typically a better way to go as obviously someone is hurting if they write the above.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:56 am
I don’t want to minimize your pain, but just because others have nice things doesn’t mean you have to have them to, or that they owe you something because of it.

It’s the way of the world. If your kids didn’t have coats then regardless of what kind of coats others have, they’d probably love to help you. To resent others for having nicer things when you have what you need- albeit slightly cheaper and maybe nerdier according to you, is simple jealousy and doesn’t come from a good place.

You’d be happier if you can learn to allow others to live their lives differently.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 11:58 am
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
That was nasty and uncalled for.
Empathy is typically a better way to go as obviously someone is hurting if they write the above.


How is that response nasty?
Op asked if others would help her and this seems like an avenue where others can help her.
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