Can you stop giving homework for the moms?

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:49 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

As I said, I give things kids should be able to do on their own. If a child has a hard time concentrating and focusing then I can see why their parent needs to be on top of it more. But that doesn’t mean the kid shouldn’t do it.
One of the basics of teaching is review. Kids don’t retain anything without consistent review. They just don’t. Kria is also extremely important both academically and for their self esteem. No one feels good if they stumble when called upon in class.
I don’t believe in a lot of HW. But kria and occasional concept review is very helpful to the child.
They should be able to do most on their own.

And yes, some kids, as you say, can fly through school without HW. But when will they learn to work? To work consistently? Not everything will be easy

If a child is stumbling on their words, homework won't make them not stumble. A reading teacher in school can help with that though. Not every parent is trained to teach reading /Kriah.
I can argue about helping self esteem. Doesn't help.
And when will a girl learn how to be a mother? When she has a baby and has responsibilities she learns. So I imagine when she needs to work and work consistently she will do a fine job.
I teach my children plenty and so do most parents. Not everything comes from homework.

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:52 pm

amother [ Gladiolus ] wrote:

In my circles, everyone expects there to be homework (noone wants tons, but everyone knows and expects there to be homework). It's a way for the parents to be somewhat involved in their children's education, to get an idea of what they're learning, if they are keeping up etc. I guess it's different by you, or you just have super smart kids!!

Or my kids just have wonderful teachers. And they also know their mother isn't teaching them school work at home so they better listen well.

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:52 pm

small bean wrote:

I am young with 8 kids. My life is hectic BH but I still love it. I think it is great for the kids and makes school life fun and interesting.

Then you must be energetic and creative bh.
I agree it makes school life fun. But pleeeeeease let the teachers do it with the girls in school.
Most moms do not look forward to extra projects.

keym

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:56 pm

Sewsew_mom wrote:

My rule.. If homework can't be done alone I just don't do it.
They should know how to read the word if their homework is reading. I'm not a policeman. If they read.. They read. Why would they read the words wrong. Than they didn't learn how to read. Their teacher would call u and let you know they need help reading.
Sometimes I hear my kids reading words and they don't sound right so I'll yell out can you read that again it didn't sound right. Otherwise 🤷‍♀️ I don't think I need to sit and point.

That doesn't work for 1st and 2nd grade kria. They usually are given a few pesukim of unfamiliar tehillim or from a random Navi or something. If I'm not sitting and looking with my son, I won't know if it's Ve-a-hav-ta or Ve-a-ha-v-ta for example. The dagesh, the shvas.
And having them do kriah and perpetuating the mistakes seems to me to be worse than not doing it.

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:56 pm

small bean wrote:

I am young with 8 kids. My life is hectic BH but I still love it. I think it is great for the kids and makes school life fun and interesting.

I happen to be extremely creative and love projects. But I only do them if it means spending quality time with that child AND it doesn't stress me out dealing with my other children. But regular daily worksheets and math work is not happening for me.

amother

Forsythia

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:14 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I am also a teacher x 10 years and have had numerous parents complaining the years I tried not to give homework

Same here. Fourth grade.
I've had top students whose parents didn't want to struggle with homework and I agreed. As long as their child was doing well, there was no need for homework.

For the majority of the class homework is a way to learn responsible habits. I'm looking for improvement, not looking for perfection. There are also certain subjects that have to be reviewed one on one, such as multiplication. If moishie doesn't know 3x5 while yossi doesn't know 4x7 and eli needs extra practice with the 9 times table, I will not be able to help them all. Only a parent can.

I have only received positive feedback about the projects as long as they are open ended without too many rules. Some parents do it all, others work with the kid, others let the kid do it himself. Of course I prefer the students work, but they still gain something, even if mom did it all. Teaching for more than 10 yrs, never got a complaint about a project. Mainstream yeshiva.

amother

Blush

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:37 pm

As a teacher, I understand when I child doesn’t do their HW random nights. I look at it at the end of the week and don’t say anything if a day or two is missed. I don’t give weekend HW.
But if a child never does their HW I would contact the oarent and see what is going on. I would review instructions with the child in class etc to help the parent have an easier time but at the end of the day HW is a responsibility of a student and if the student is taught not to care then they won’t invest so much.
Out of the whole class, I have maybe one student who struggles with doing it on a consistent basis. That says something! That means most people (in my school) are into their children doing their HW! I def think it’s a majority that way

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:39 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

That doesn’t mean it’s not hard on the moms.
I never skipped doing HW either but here I am complaining!

amother

Chestnut

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:01 pm

I fell like there is another problem here. what if the hw doesn't involve the mom, but the child just does not want to do it?

I only have a first grader, and I don't mind doing kriah/reading, as I know it is important to practice (I work in an education related field). My son also does not mind a few minutes of reading.

But his teacher also gives worksheets, for example she sent home a huge handwriting booklet that they need to complete. My son can do it on his own, but he does not want to. And I don't blame him! He doesn't get home until 5:00, and the teacher want the kids in bed by 7:45. He was sitting a WHOLE day at his desk doing worksheets. When he comes home he wants to play! He doesn't want to.sit and do.more work! He is overall a very good kid, not hyperactive at all, and does well during the school day. But he needs his downtime at home. If the handwriting is so important then give the kids 10 minutes in class every day to work on it

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:05 pm

amother [ Chestnut ] wrote:

I would skip it. Literally nothing will happen.

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:09 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

That means most people (in my school) are into their children doing their HW! I def think it’s a majority that way

I’m so tired of this.

Honestly, no. Honestly it probably just means that most parents are into following the rules and teaching their child that they need to do what is expected of this.

I’ve never once spoken to a parent who felt that homework was important (except kriah). Not once.

mazal555

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 11:32 pm

Homework is really hard for ADHD parents. I barely managed it the first time. Now I get to do it 6 more times? Seriously! Why should my kids suffer academically because we're both ADHD? What's the point of school then? Not everyone is cut out for this.

amother

Feverfew

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 11:43 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

Yeah, but parents who want their kids to have more homework can always assign it themselves. .

You'd think. I hate it when parents ask for extra practice material and I have to spend time locating, printing, and photocopying stuff to send home during my precious planning time. What I'd really love to respond is, go to an office supply store and buy a $5 workbook for your kid to work on instead of adding another thing to my plate. But it's not worth it so I just do it.
Believe it or not, every school I've worked in, there are at least a few parents who complain if they feel you aren't sending home enough homework that challenges their kid.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 11:43 pm

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

Pray tell, what did they gain if mom did it all?

As for not complaining about a project, I don't call up the teacher to complain. I just rant and vent to my sisters and friends, and here on imamother. People are hesitant to call up a teacher to complain, they'll usually reserve that if it totally gets out of hand. Just because you haven't gotten any complaints, doesn't mean the parents aren't very unhappy about it.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 12:10 am

gibberish wrote:

I like homework just so I have an idea what my children are leaning in school. 5 minute worksheets that children can do independently are perfect. How do I know if/what they are learning of nothing ever comes home?

If they are blossoming and reading books, and adding things together and know about their body I think their learning! Why do I need to know every day how the teacher is teaching them about diff sounds the letter makes. If they come home happy, I'm happy! If they are growing and smiling, I'm happy! If their miserable and I need to reprimand them and bribe them to sit the half hour and do hw they aren't happy.. And that doesnt show me anything.
By all means if the child wants to sit and do hw and I need to sign the paper (and take a glance) wonderful for that child (I had one kid like that I never sat with him and he found it was something he liked to do) but my next child has zero interest. Learns enough in school. Uses home time to wind down, play with friends, chat with me and play games - I don't see her doing any worse academically.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 12:13 am

amother [ Cornsilk ] wrote:

This a thousand time. Just because people don't complain outright.. Doesn't mean they are happy with the situation.
Any time I've EVER spoken up to a teacher or store about something their response is always - well Noone else complained. So it's only you. Except here's the thing.. I've discussed it with so many people that it's an issue and they choose not to say anything because they don't feel comfortable bringing up this issue. They are shy, not confident, scared of confrontation and they are people pleasers...but that doesn't make them happy or make teachers right for making the choice to bombard moms with kids homework.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 12:16 am

amother [ Feverfew ] wrote:

I would say nicely.. Hey mom, your children sat all day by a desk needing to be quiet and pay attention. Working hard to focus and learning. How bout you let them run around and do exercises. Or show them how to cook. Or take them out for ice cream. And than on your way they have workbooks in staples or dollar tree so if your child is begging for more work ull be all geared up.

amother

Feverfew

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 12:19 am

Sewsew_mom wrote:

Teaching 101: quite a lot of what teachers do is about keeping parents happy. It may not look that way from the outside. But it is.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 12:22 am

amother [ Feverfew ] wrote:

Teaching 101: quite a lot of what teachers do is about keeping parents happy. It may not look that way from the outside. But it is.

I love my children's teachers. I'm so thankful for each of them. And thankful for everything they teach them..
But I still don't agree with homework. Even if it makes some parents happy🤷‍♀️