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Don’t want to make Shabbos a “no” day

 
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JustWondering




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:15 pm
I once read in a response to a chinuch question not to make Shabbos a “no” day. My daughter is two and I am overly careful to not say we don’t do that on Shabbos or that’s not allowed. I find a positive way to word everything like “mommy set the light before Shabbos the way I want it to be” or “we’ll do that tomorrow.” Is this the right approach for this age for now? Or should I start teaching her what we don’t do on Shabbos? Curious to hear peoples thoughts.

P.s. this is my first post!
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amother




White
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:22 pm
It helps if you have time, patience, and can give attention. I sted of no you can’t do xyz, it becomes let’s do this, let’s sing/read/play this toy.
IMHO, it is about making Shabbos a special fun day filled with all the things you do together (because you have time) and not focusing on what you cannot.
Better to have a less perfect dress/meal/table and to have more fun together.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:27 pm
Shabbos toys!

Have DD help you put away any toys that are mukzah, and then bring out the toys that are special and only brought out on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Tape over the light switch covers can prevent a lot of problems. Get DD involved in making sure the house is set up, having her follow you from room to room deciding what lights to leave on, and what to leave off.

The more you let her "help", the more fun she'll have. Chop up a bunch of carrots, and let her throw them in the chicken soup. Tell everyone at the Shabbos table that "Sarale helped make the soup!"
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mom!




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:27 pm
I find it easiest to move all the muktzah toys out of sight/reach. It eliminated most of my no’s.
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JustWondering




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:31 pm
These are great ideas! I guess my question is SHOULD I teach her what we don’t do on Shabbos or just kind of gloss over it and make it a positive day with all these wonderful suggestions?
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:36 pm
JustWondering wrote:
I once read in a response to a chinuch question not to make Shabbos a “no” day. My daughter is two and I am overly careful to not say we don’t do that on Shabbos or that’s not allowed. I find a positive way to word everything like “mommy set the light before Shabbos the way I want it to be” or “we’ll do that tomorrow.” Is this the right approach for this age for now? Or should I start teaching her what we don’t do on Shabbos? Curious to hear peoples thoughts.

P.s. this is my first post!


This is a good way to word it however, at the age of 2 it is not just a "no" day, it is "no" life!
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JustWondering




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:37 pm
imaima wrote:
This is a good way to word it however, at the age of 2 it is not just a "no" day, it is "no" life!


LOL
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:55 pm
Yes, just kind of gloss over it and focus on the positives. She probably already notices the special clothes, the different food, the different activities.

Many people don't discuss it much until the age of chinuch. My 2 year old granddaughter got hold of the phone one Shabbos, and knew which button to push to autodial me. I was laughing when the caller ID said who it was, because I knew exactly what must have happened!

After that, their phone was moved to a harder to reach location before Shabbos.

When she gets old enough to follow a story, you can start by talking about how other characters don't move muktza or whatever, and then ask if she's noticed what things you do differently on Shabbos.
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#Happymom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 3:27 pm
at that age I don't focus on what we can't do - if she plays with a muktza toy - I allow it.

But before my dd turned 3, I had a convo with her that shabbos is a very special day and we wear pretty clothes and etc etc and on shabbos we don't turn on lights (bec that's what she used to always do) since then - she's never turned on lights.

We've also discussed muktza toys etc, but only from age 3. Till then I'm chilled.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 3:30 pm
keep special toys you only take out on shabbos
special nosh
shabbos party
special parsha book
and so on
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 4:33 pm
My toddler loves Shabbos, because this is the day I can actually give my toddler the most attention! During the week I work full time, Shabbos comes and I'm with her playing all day! We sit on the floor, play with plushies, run around the house, sing songs, eat yummy food, read tons of books, she likes those that have flaps so you can see what is hidden. I hope this helps!
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amother




Yarrow
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 4:37 pm
We have shabbos cookies and other treats. Every time I have to say no, a yes goes with it. "we can't play with that train today, but we can build a huge tower". "on shabbos we don't color, instead we eat shabbos cookies" (cue small treat)
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naomi2




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 4:53 pm
I just let my kids do muktza til whatever age. Eventually they stop. They want to be grown up and keep the rules. They learn along the way. If they ask me to help them or play with a muktza toy with them I say. " mommy doesn't do xyz on shobbos" If they ask why I tell them it's muktza. If I'm totally not involved I just ignore it.
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Always LOL




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 4:53 pm
Following. What do y’all do when a kid insist on muktzah toys? We put them out of sight but my son is bored on shabbos. And it’s getting colder so the park is becoming less of an option Sad
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 5:01 pm
We buy non muktza toys and games special for Shabbos.
Lego, blocks, trucks without lights and sirens, books.
The muktza toys go away in the Special Muktza Closet.
Under 5 or so, if a child gets ahold of the Muktza item, we loudly announce "Yossi is still young. When he's REALLY BIG like Totty, then he won't play with the toy on Shabbos". And then ignore. As per our Rav.
By the time they approach 3 or 4, they usually stop because they WANT to be big.
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lamplighter




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:14 pm
We put the muktza toys away.
We have a muktza detective job before shabbos to look for all the muktza toys.
Then we take out the shabbos toys box.
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amother




Aster
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:24 pm
I ignore it... there's absolutely no way a baby toddler understands shabbos muktza
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amother




RosePink
 

Post Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:30 pm
If my toddler takes a muktzah toy on their own I don't say anything. We do start saying it's shabbos today pretty young and they know shabbos is a special day and we don't do a lot of regular things. I encourage and offer non muktzah toys but other than things like tablets that get put away, I leave my babies/ toddlers music and light toys and I don't get involved. If they find crayons I ignore too, but I wouldn't hand them anything.
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