Would you dress up a 2 year old boy as a kallah?

amother

Peru

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 6:20 am

I don't think when your little boy grows up he will enjoy seeing pictures of himself as a 2 year old kallah. There are so many good costumes for boys, why do this?

hodeez

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 8:46 am

With the world in the messed up state it is today, I would steer clear of bending gender norms.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 8:50 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

It used to be a firm no for me but these days I say who cares. If the kid wants it, have fun. If the kid says no please don’t do it.

It's usually the mom that wants, not the 2 year old..... I think it's corny to dress kids in the opposite gender.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 8:53 am

amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote:

Years ago I dressed 2yo DS as Queen Esther (he had long gorgeous curly light brown hair) and dressed baby DD as Mordechai (she had no hair to speak of).

(I did put a yarmulka on under his crown, because he was already wearing one.)

I did it under the assumption that Lo Silbash does not apply in the regular sense on Purim, because gender-specific clothing boundaries are blurred when everyone is in costume, but later heard that not every halachic authority allows it.

So I probably would not do it again, although they were absolutely adorable.

Lo Silbash applies on Purim, but not to 2 year old kids.

amother

Tulip

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 8:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I might not get another miracle and I figured ill see what it feels like to dress up a little girl!

Voted no. Don't think there is any halachic issue, nor do I think you will psychologically scar a child this age. I simply think it's weird.

Chayalle

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 8:57 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I might not get another miracle and I figured ill see what it feels like to dress up a little girl!

I never dressed my girls up as firemen, policemen, or such....though I don't have any boys.

ETA. When they were little, I tried to dress them up in costumes that were comfy for them. For example, I have cozy, soft teddy bear costumes that they wore one Purim when they were baby and 4....clown costumes one year (no face paint, and they hardly wore the hats)....the Kallah gowns and princess costumes came when they were older and THEY enjoyed it.

amother

Starflower

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 9:48 am

My husband was dressed as a princess when he was 2 years old on Purim. On literally every single picture, he's sitting and crying hysterically.

Rediculous. Don't so this to your child.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 9:55 am

amother [ Starflower ] wrote:

My husband was dressed as a princess when he was 2 years old on Purim. On literally every single picture, he's sitting and crying hysterically.

Rediculous. Don't so this to your child.

To be fair, that may not have had much to do with the specific costume. You can find pictures of me crying on Halloween (BT here) and I wasn't dressed as a boy.

amother

Zinnia

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 10:09 am

If he wanted to, then sure. I have a two year old boy who loves trucks and tractors and tools but also likes dressing up in his sister’s things. But if it was for my own enjoyment and he wasn’t interested then no way.

amother

Garnet

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 10:20 am

I dressed up my 2 year old as a girl to match his sister. He loved it, and had a blast twirling around.We laugh at the pictures together.
This was over 6 years ago, and times have drastically changed since. Not sure I would do it now.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 10:24 am

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

No plus it's assur.

For such a little kid? Why?
Also, Ive known some pretty learned men in my day dress up as women on purim. I believe that on purim itself it is fine. Throw the tomatoes. This is what Ive seen. And the men Ive seen are very learned in all things halacha.

Genius

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 10:31 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

It’s a controversy. Been debated for decades (or centuries not sure). Some okayed it others said not to do it. Learned men may have gone with the heter, it might still be assur for other posters claiming that it is.
In any case I don’t think it applies to 2 year olds. I still voted no. I’m not emotionally attached to the “girl dream”, I’m perfectly fine with firemen and soldiers forever.

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 10:57 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I’m sure they are very learned.

That is why I said to ask your LOR

On many halacha threads there are a huge range of opinions.
It is appropriate to follow your own rav rather then the learned men of an anonymous women online.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 11:02 am

I wouldn’t. My boys are teens now and they would be horrified to see pictures of themselves dressed as girls for Purim.

When they were little they loved to play dressup with their sisters but that was them dressing THEMSELVES as kallahs and princesses, and there are no pictures recording it for posterity.

I also wouldn’t want to make an ayin hora. My friend’s adult son r”l (raised yeshivish) is currently identifying as transgender and doing hormone therapy to prepare for a possible surgery ch”v. Today’s world is so crazy.

amother

Starflower

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 11:08 am

BrisketBoss wrote:

To be fair, that may not have had much to do with the specific costume. You can find pictures of me crying on Halloween (BT here) and I wasn't dressed as a boy.

My Mil said he didn't want to be dressed up as a girl. Therefore the tears and tantrums.

amother

Peony

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 11:09 am

My quick fix baby purim costume was always clothing of the opposite gender.

I think our all time favourite purim costume was the year that DS6 (willingly) wore an old wig of mine with DD's BY uniform and tights.

This was over 15 years ago. Things are a whole lot different now with the entire subject of genders being taboo..........

amother

Cyclamen

Tue, Jan 04 2022, 11:16 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

Voted no. Don't think there is any halachic issue, nor do I think you will psychologically scar a child this age. I simply think it's weird.

Agreed