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If you both work, who takes off when the kids are sick?
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If you both work, who takes off when the kids are sick?
Me  
 45%  [ 40 ]
My husband  
 3%  [ 3 ]
We split it  
 48%  [ 43 ]
We have other arrangements (please share them!)  
 2%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 88



amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2022, 11:10 pm
My kids have gotten sick very frequently this year. My husband is an elementary school Rebbi, and I work as a business manager.

Is it fair of the school to expect me to always take off, just because I'm the wife?

I don't have anyone who could watch a sick kid (especially my baby) in this "Covid-Flu Era".

What do you all do?
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salt




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2022, 11:19 pm
Kids are older now, but when we had several small kids we split it, but not equally divided as in once you once me...
It went according to age of child, and/or what they were sick with:

Babies, I stayed home - my DH isn't so good with kvetchy babies.
If it involved throwing up, DH usually stayed home - I don't do well with that.
Other symptoms, I stayed home.

Also depends what we had on at work at the time (meetings etc) - who could miss more easily that day.
And on the odd occasion, grandparents would step in, if kid was well enough to be taken round to them, but just not well enough to go to school.
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amother




Navyblue
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2022, 11:57 pm
We spit it. Depends on who has what going on that day, who has not taken off in a while...

We also have been doing more remote work due to covid so it balances out with fewer babysitting options. Both of us are professionals with advanced degrees so telework is possible. In some ways I am grateful for covid for making it possible.

But yeah, school automatically calls me even though they know I work full time. I even tell them that my husband is getting the kid who was 100% at 8 am but by 11am has a fever. And no medication was given. I dont medicate my kids to send them to school.

My kids randomly seem to always get sick midmorning. Not sure the front office believes me but my kid was up, ready for school with minimal fuss, acting normally, no sign of sickness... and 3 hours later has a fever.
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nicole81




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2022, 11:59 pm
I used to contact everyone I knew and post on social media to try to find an emergency sitter. It worked out 90% of the time. The rest we split.
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amother




Caramel
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 12:15 am
My husband works from home 2 days a week, so if it's one of those days he's home with the kid. Sometimes he can add a third day home so if it's a long time he'll stay home a third day. And I do the other days
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amother




Hunter
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 1:56 am
We share the responsibility. But a lot will depend on what's on in work. If I have a big meeting, dh will cover those days. If he has a big project, he'll be in work and I'll take off. Dh can work remotely more easily than I can, so he often will take more of the days.
But it's not easy.
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Beingreal




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 3:51 am
It depends who is making more. My husband used to take off because I made more. Now I work remotely so it's not an issue anymore.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 4:21 am
Not sure, OP, if you mean the school your kids are at or the school your dh works at. IME, even if the father is the parent who will inevitably take off, a kid's school will always call the mother when a child is sick, and then she calls dad.

The only way to prevent this, and it will often still take a few tries, is to write on your medical form and also tell the nurse and office that you are much harder to reach than dh. For example, my friends who are teachers do this. If it's in the same school, the school will find them in their classroom. If not, they will answer their phone less than dh who is working remotely or wherever and has phone access. If dh is a rebbe, it's natural that they will always call you.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 4:30 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My kids have gotten sick very frequently this year. My husband is an elementary school Rebbi, and I work as a business manager.

Is it fair of the school to expect me to always take off, just because I'm the wife?

I don't have anyone who could watch a sick kid (especially my baby) in this "Covid-Flu Era".

What do you all do?
Are they actually telling you this? Or are they calling you to tell you your child needs to go home because they dont feel well?

No matter what, if parents cant find other arrangements, they have to share the responsibilities. I know its harder for a teacher (I would think) but thats part of being a parent.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 4:51 am
Don't have kids... Or a husband

But when I was really little I remember my mom taking me to her parents, bc they lived in the same area she worked.

My mom also has more flexibility with her job.

But bc parents came home late, we had a babysitter who would pick us up from school and watch us till my parents came home. I think she was able to come watch us if we were sick during the day.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 4:57 am
My dh is more flexible so he stays home with them and works when I get home.
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amother




Coffee
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 5:31 am
My DH works from home and his job is a little more flexible so he does more, but we try to split it--if I haven't taken off in a while then I will. We also ask our parents to help when they can. We don't ask our parents as much since covid, because they're older, but when we know the kids are negative or don't have covid symptoms then we ask them to help out.
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amother




Camellia
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 5:38 am
Dh and I both have flexible work hours, so on those days I'll start work at 8am, leave at 1 or 2, and dh will do afternoon hours, staying late if necessary.
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amother




Zinnia
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:22 am
Depends upon so many different factors
Case by case
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 7:37 am
It sounds like the school your husband works for is telling him that he can't take a day off when his child is sick, and pushing him to get his wife to take a day off from her job instead.
He should just call in sick. No details needed about who is sick. It is not their business. He has a right to take a sick day.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 7:49 am
ra_mom wrote:
It sounds like the school your husband works for is telling him that he can't take a day off when his child is sick, and pushing him to get his wife to take a day off from her job instead.
He should just call in sick. No details needed about who is sick. It is not their business. He has a right to take a sick day.


Yes it's exactly this. The school my husband works for wants me to take off or to make some mysterious "other arrangements".

This is a good idea.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 7:52 am
Thank you all for the responses!
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amother




Linen
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 8:25 am
It's always me and sometimes I resent it 😟
That being said my DH works in healthcare and it's really hard for him to take off without advance notice.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 9:11 am
Does it change anything that my husband is a Rebbi? Is it different in this case?
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amother




Snowdrop
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 9:48 am
I feel like DD's morah is out every other day with a sick kid (she has 4 little ones). Her husband is a rebbi and that would be "blasphemous" for him to miss a day of work.
This gets me so mad
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