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HELP! I'm at the end of my tether!
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amother




 

Post  Tue, May 06 2008, 10:42 am
Jewish Mother wrote:
Thank you Tamiri.

I guess my baggage is weighing a lot heavier than I thought and I'm now paying excess on it!

I've decided to keep out of the way for a bit and let Abba deal with it. She's much closer to him anyway and maybe if I keep my distance she'll stop blaming me and stop thinking I'm the bad one and don't listen to her. I dunno.

My mother could have written this about me when I was a teenager. Except she stewed in her anger, is still stewing, and our relationship indeed is beyond repair now 15 years later.
Your daughter is only 13. Please don't do this to her, it's not worth it. I understand that she upsets you but you are the adult in this relationship and it is up to you to put your emotions aside and deal with her logically.
That's why I always liked my father better, he didn't start having tantrums every time I said something he didn't like. And he didn't hold grudges for years and years on end. Not even from one day to the next, every day can be a fresh start.
I love my mother for raising me to be me, but I don't like her very much. I speak to her once a year to wish her a happy new year and maybe on her birthday if I feel like summing up the guts to call the number to what is supposed to be my home. You don't want this kind of relationship with your daughter. Think ahead, ignore what's trivial, and deal with what will still be important in ten or twenty years.
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greenfire




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, May 06 2008, 10:46 am
13 years old - hormones surging - she is only beginning to test the waters ... but as a mother nothing is ever beyond repair - you must love always and unconditionally ... keep letting her know the difference between right and wrong and most definately discuss the need to avoid intimate contact with boys and the ramifications of teenage pregnancy - you can never go too far - they need to constantly hear these things over and over and over so that some of it sticks in till they pass that hard segway to adulthood - and hopefully succeeded in making the right decisions to get there ... all this includes moral ethics as well as frum values ...

being a mother we labor throughout their lives...
good luck !!!
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