Vent: Being thin isn't everything!!

amother

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 6:45 am

amother [ Currant ] wrote:

Comments like "you're so skinny, you look good in everything" are OFFENSIVE. If you don't want other people to comment on your body, don't comment on theirs. Compliment them the same way you want them to compliment you. Without saying anything about the size of their body or how difficult or easy it must have been to shop for clothing.

All you people complaining about how much harder it is for you to shop than OP. You have COMPLETELY missed the point. You want understanding from others, you need to show the same understanding. Don't comment on others' bodies REGARDLESS of your opinion of their bodies. Others' shapes and sizes aren't your business. Others' ease of buying clothing is ALSO not your business. Tell them they look good and move on.

THIS!!

amother

Honeysuckle

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 6:49 am

amother [ Diamond ] wrote:

Everyone is right that every body type can have it's challenges since nothing In Life is perfect. That being said as someone who struggled with my weight all my life you can not compare. My daughter is so beyond skinny that it is so difficult to shop for her and she is actually on a special weight gain diet. But I thank Hashem every day that it's not that she's overweight like her mother. Yes being thin can be because of health or mental issues and can come with challenges. Being overweight is also usually coming from health and mental issues too, and in this society that we live in it's 100x worse. Of course we all get the package that is meant for us. You can definitely vent but be smart who you vent to. Don't go to a WW meeting and vent that can't get clothes Because your to thin. Don't go to a fertility clinic and complain that your kids kept you up last night. Don't got to a special needs mothers event and complain that your healthy child is moody and challenging. There is a time and a place for everything. Coming to this sight and complaining about something that you know will hurt many isn't the most thoughtful thing to do. Once again that doesn't mean that this isn't a challenge for you. Good luck to everyone shopping this season. the styles are not meant for anyone who is not a tall model figure 🤣

Um, the OP put it as a vent post. Trying to get support perhaps because this isnt something that IRL can be discussed because there isnt a WW or other support for people like us. Ignore posts that will hurt you. Like women with infertility skip the pregnancy related threads. No one forced you to open or read this chat. This isnt a website for WW users or people over a certain BMI.

According to your logic no one can ever complain about children on imamother because some women have infertility. No oke can complain about their job because some are unemployed. No one can complain about tuition costs because at least they have kids. No one can post recipes because not everyone can afford those ingredients.
No one can comment about anything because there is always a "dont complain, at least you have XYZ".

Everyone has hurt and pain. Your pain doesn't invalidate my pain.
Just think before saying something or posting. That's all. Think. Stop commenting on anyone's weight!!

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 7:52 am

I think overweight people are just jealous. They aren’t trying to shame a thin body. They just wish they were thin too and honestly compliment because they think you look good.
One of my teen daughters is too thin. Nothing looks right on her. She’s dealing with a different problem that I never had to deal with but for her it’s still a problem. Necks and shoulders are too wide… everything hangs. Do I wish I were 10 pounds thinner? You bet! But my thin daughter has a problem too.

lamplighter

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:11 am

amother [ Currant ] wrote:

WADR it's people like you who need your eyes open. Don't comment on the shape of others' bodies. Don't tell them how easy it must be for them to shop. Think of how it would feel for people to be commenting on the shape of YOUR body.

I have never in my life commented on another person's body. Where did you get that from?

What a rude post, of course hidden behind another.

Last edited by lamplighter on Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:18 am; edited 1 time in total

lamplighter

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:14 am

amother [ Honeysuckle ] wrote:

They actually didnt cater to me and my size. Not all "skinny" are the same. Pre kids I was publicly humiliated when I walked into stores- especially frum ones. Nothing fit. Store owners laughed at me. I was told to eat more, stop dieting or even questioned about having an eating disorder in front of others. I have never had an eating disorder- just a weird combination of super short and small genes.
Feeling like the runt of the litter isnt fun.

They cater to a specific size and anyone at either end of the spectrum dont matter.

This is horrible. I'm so sorry you experienced this Sad

amother

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:32 am

lamplighter wrote:

I'm just imagining if someone wrote a post " being rich isn't everything" and then proceeded to explain that it's also hard to be rich because she spends a lot of time and energy managing her household help, between the butler, the cleaning lady, the nanny, and the cook she's overwhelmed by it.
I wonder what kind of responses she would get.

Lol Im laughing so hard
Totally not comparable
Sometimes I literally cant find anything that looks normal on me. Im not in any way trying to put down other peoples struggles but just dont think that all thin people have it so easy

amother

Currant

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:45 am

lamplighter wrote:

I have never in my life commented on another person's body. Where did you get that from?

What a rude post, of course hidden behind another.

OP: People keep telling me that I'm so thin and I look good in everything. I'm sick and tired of these comments. It's not even true. Stop making these comments.

A bunch of amothers: How dare you say that, those comments are true, you have it so much easier than us

You: Sorry OP that you're getting ganged up on by a bunch of amothers, but at least your eyes are opened that you do have it so much easier

Me: Actually your eyes need to be opened, OP is right, those comments are offensive and need to stop

You: How dare you. Of course you're posting as amother. And I never said that.

Me: wondering if you even read the op, and why it's only ok for people to post as amother when you agree with them

amother

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:48 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

If the vent has been even though I’m skinny I can never find clothing I don’t think you would have gotten these responses. But you went and compared yourself to fat people saying it’s just as hard for me. Not sure why the comparison or involving fat people was necessary. So yeah it comes across as trying erase a very big problem fat people deal with daily.

Im sorry if you read it incorrectly.
I am not saying fat people dont have it hard. I am saying that people who are bigger than me always tell me "oh youre skinny so you just look stunning in everything you put on" and I am saying that is not true and doesnt make me feel good. Like do you know how hard it was for me to find this one dress that looks good on me? I had to go to a few stores and try on a bunch of things. Half the things fit on top but are tight on bottom or the other way around. Just trying to vent and make an awareness that just bec someone looks thin does not mean that they have it so easy.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 8:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I really think if you wrote it this way it would have gone over better.

amother

Whitewash

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 9:28 am

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

I think overweight people are just jealous. They aren’t trying to shame a thin body. They just wish they were thin too and honestly compliment because they think you look good.
One of my teen daughters is too thin. Nothing looks right on her. She’s dealing with a different problem that I ever had to deal with but for her it’s still a problem. Necks and shoulders are too wide… everything hangs. Do I wish I were 10 pounds thinner? You bet! But my thin daughter has a problem too.

THANK YOU !!! everything hangs on me . I cant find clothes that fit at all . I have zero shoulders , completely flat on top and everything just hangs and I've had people ask me if I made sure I dont have a genetic disease that causes me not to absorb fat . Stupid comment . Ppl think that they can make comments to people when they're skinny and it's just as wrong as commenting on someones body type when they're overweight!

amother

Crocus

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 9:36 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

I think all you skinny people are still not getting it! As hard as you think you have it, fat people have it worse. It’s not helpful saying but we have it hard too. No you don’t. The stores cater to you, so what if you have to try on so much, or take some in, or not like how you look. Fat people need to wear ugly clothing , because apparently if they need to use more fabric they need to use ugly fabric while they are at it. We can’t tailor clothing to fit us even if we wanted to. If only my hips or stomach stuck out a drop, instead everything sticks out and I look like a blob with material hanging from it. It comes across as self centered and insensitive to keep insisting this is a real problem you suffer from when all you are experiencing is 1/10 of what fat people experience. Sorry but you are not getting any sympathy from me.

ok, I couldn't help it. You made me giggle.
With you and everyone else on what you're saying.

I can feel sympathy for someone who doesn't have it easy, and yes it does make sense that super skinny wouldn't either have options, that is definitely hard. However I don't think it comes along with the same deep sense of shame that has been ingrained in us that that "oh you're fat, you don't deserve pretty clothing, just stop being so lazy and gluttonous and get yourself together" it's that underlying sentiments that make it so painful and humiliating to shop.

amother

Currant

Fri, Feb 18 2022, 9:41 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Because you aren’t on the other side. When many people read it that way then maybe there is a reason.

And maybe the reason is because they want to complain they have it worse instead of trying to understand. I don't think different wording would help. People need to be willing to see things from someone else's perspective, and to watch what they say even if to them it seems harmless.