Homeless Guest | Imamother

amother

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 9:47 pm

My husband is B”H really kind.
He brought this homeless man in for havdala. My husband asked if I mind if he eats melava malka with us. I told him I’d rather if we give him a package to go. I packed him up a ton of food. And then my husband wished him well.
Afew minutes later he knocked on the door. My husband opened. He told us he needs money…. And my husband gave him a small amount. Now I’m so worried that he’ll keep coming. I’m worried he’ll show up whenever he needs to eat ect. And my husband won’t be home and it’ll be uncomfortable.

shaqued_almond

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 9:51 pm

Bezrat hashem he won't be homeless for long. Is there an organization that can help in your area?

amother

Orchid

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:11 pm

I'm sorry but for your safety you should definitely not have him in the house when your husband is not there.
Can you reach out to the Rabbi of the community to see if he can help him?

amother

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:20 pm

I don’t really know why no one has helped him so far. Apparently he’s been homeless for years and he’s a known face in the community. I will just have to tell all friends and family to call b4 they come by so I know to open the door or if it’s shabbos to use a code knock. If ever my husband isn’t home if anyone knocks and I’m not expecting anyone I’ll pretend not to be home. I don’t know why I’m so scared of such people. Crying

amother

Hibiscus

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:23 pm

If he shows up when he’s not home say sorry my husband is not home and don’t invite him in.

Mindfully

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:25 pm

amother [ Hibiscus ] wrote:

If he shows up when he’s not home say sorry my husband is not home and don’t invite him in.

This

Notsobusy

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Some homeless people don't want to be helped. It doesn't mean nobody tried.

Maybe get a peephole installed so you can check who's there and only unlock the door if you feel safe.

amother

Seashell

Sat, Apr 30 2022, 10:40 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

Some homeless people don't want to be helped. It doesn't mean nobody tried.

Maybe get a peephole installed so you can check who's there and only unlock the door if you feel safe.

This, they sell digital peepholes if you can’t put in a regular one (you can’t use the digital one on shabbos tho)

shaqued_almond

Sun, May 01 2022, 12:07 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In that case just be blunt and rude. Tell him to go away. I have friends who had a Jewish homeless person sleeping behind their house. Also someone for years on the street.

amother

Snowflake

Sun, May 01 2022, 12:28 am

It's heartbreaking, and I don't think you can let a person starve. You can open an account for him at a local Jewish owned food store, but you don't have to let him sleep at your house.

In his case, homelessness is likely not the real problem. It's almost certainly a symptom of a deeper problem, likely mental illness and/or addiction. You can't fix it. That's the tragic truth.

abmom2

Sun, May 01 2022, 12:40 am

amother [ Hibiscus ] wrote:

If he shows up when he’s not home say sorry my husband is not home and don’t invite him in.

Don't tell him your husband is not home! Tell him it's not a good time

amother

DarkRed

Sun, May 01 2022, 1:00 am

amother [ Snowflake ] wrote:

It's heartbreaking, and I don't think you can let a person starve. You can open an account for him at a local Jewish owned food store, but you don't have to let him sleep at your house.

.

There's soup kitchens. Why should she pay his expenses?

amother

Snowflake

Sun, May 01 2022, 1:04 am

amother [ DarkRed ] wrote:

There's soup kitchens. Why should she pay his expenses?

If she wants to help directly, that's something she can do. Of course she can donate to a local soup kitchen.

doodlesmom

Sun, May 01 2022, 2:04 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do you live in BP?
I am associated with one such guy and am wondering if you are referring to him…

imorethanamother

Sun, May 01 2022, 2:49 am

I don’t understand what’s worrying you exactly? If he comes back you can give him a small amount of money and a food item. What’s scaring you?

He sounds non violent and non threatening.

amother

Celeste

Sun, May 01 2022, 7:22 am

amother [ DarkRed ] wrote:

There's soup kitchens. Why should she pay his expenses?

Tzedakah???? Jewish Rachmanus???
Giving to a person he gets 100%
Giving to an organization the poor get 50-30%

I like giving personally when possible.

I do agree never open door if dh isn’t home.

amother

Crystal

Sun, May 01 2022, 7:25 am

imorethanamother wrote:

I don’t understand what’s worrying you exactly? If he comes back you can give him a small amount of money and a food item. What’s scaring you?

He sounds non violent and non threatening.

Agree. What is the big deal here??

amother

Coffee

Sun, May 01 2022, 7:42 am

There are certainly plenty of ways to help someone without compromising one's security.
This is what we teach our children about stranger danger: because while he may be 100% stable and non violent he is a stranger and we do not know so err on the side of caution.
Would not open my door. Would not say dh is not home. Would not engage. Just in case. Would give and help other ways. Good protocol these days.

Trust your judgement, comfort level, and instinct Op. G-d Gave you them for a reason.

amother

Mintgreen

Sun, May 01 2022, 9:24 am

My parents hosted a lot of these kinds of guests over the years. Some were regulars at our shabbos table. If they randomly came to the door and it wasn't a good time, my mother would offer to prepare them some food to go.