What to do if the dress is….not their speed

imaima

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:33 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No one cares per se, it’s just a nice/cute thing. They matched all the girls for my wedding (although they were much younger then- probably the oldest was about 8 or 9) and again for my sister in laws wedding, the next one after mine maybe 5-7 years later. They didn’t match for the oldest niece, not sure why they’re matching now. My daughter is happy to go along with the matching, she just wishes it was a different dress. I won’t say anything, because I know everyone else thinks it’s beautiful. I’m thinking maybe to buy her a pretty necklace….

I think people do color coordinated, bur different designs.

amother

Mintcream

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:34 am

there are alot of people who feel tha girls shouldnt be in white because than people domt know who the kallah is it takes away from the kallah. ylI would taken the white to a dress make and let her change it up to a color

amother

Seagreen

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:36 am

amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:

Really? People don't know who the kallah is when little girls are wearing white? That's a bit extreme and far fetched.

kenz

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:47 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My sister in law just responded. She said the youngest sister in law (her girls are 6 and under) is doing her own thing. She said the only options were this gown or a white gown, and they didn’t want to go with white. (Also, it’s like I thought, it is coming from the two sisters in law who grew up together)
I asked her if maybe there is a different option for the older girls, so they don’t have to match the younger girls.
Edit: I decided I’m not going to do this for my little one, it’s too much for her. Either we will take something out of the closet or I will get something from Amazon or Burlington. My older one will go along with whatever the other girls her age are doing.
Second edit: turns out they like this Gemach because it’s free!!! 🙄

OP, why wouldn’t you try to match your own girls, at least in color, before your oldest and her cousins? No one will remember after except you every time you see the pictures

amother

Emerald

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:52 am

Chayalle wrote:

No Kallah is wearing a polka-dotted ruffly white gown with pink ribbons around the sleeves and neck.

I do know some kallah specifically request no one wear white dresses in the photos.
So there is that

amother

Hydrangea

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:52 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

I love fashion and no offense to anyone here... but Imamother isn't the most fashion forward crowd.

Yes, the dress in the link is awful, particularly cuz of the corset and the high neck.

But since OP said that there's no corset and there'd a lower neckline in the actual dress, I actually think the dress is cool!!

Victorian style is so hot right now. It's a beautiful soft romantic style and very femenine. Typically you'll see Victorian style dresses in lighter shades and I don't love black in the summer, but hey, it could've been worse.

I was just about to write the same thing.

If it doesn’t have the corset waist, the high elaborate neck and the detailed sleeves it is basically a tiered gown, in line with the ‘prairie dress’ look that is currently in. (Especially among the imamother crowd..)

Ok maybe it’s not the most classy/fine looking gown...
But I think if you remove all the details that make it Victorian it is not a Victorian gown....

The color is a bummer though. And therefore all suggestions about matching the color scheme are totally off the mark.

CatLady

Tue, May 24 2022, 10:54 am

Not sure whether the dress is more like a Jane Eyre cosplay or inspired by North West at Auntie Kourtney's wedding. Whatever it is, I don't like it for young girls in the heat of summer. The white version would be much nicer IMO.

amother

Aconite

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:01 am

I feel like we've all been led on here, the actual dress has zero connection with the Amazon one that got everyone rolling.

I get the issue with wearing a black dress in the summer, but otherwise there's absolutely nothing wrong with the dress. Maybe not the height of fashion, but certainly nothing Victorian about it.

Nothing about it is the same as the Amazon one, aside from the color and length.

mommyhood

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:15 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It is, but still not at all appropriate, at least in my opinion.

It's 3/4 sleeves and a light material, looks perfectly appropriate to me. I wouldn't have chosen black but this is a totally normal, pretty gown for a girl to wear to a Lakewood wedding.

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:21 am

amother [ Aconite ] wrote:

I’m sorry if you feel misled. To me they look very similar, in that neither are appropriate for a child, especially a young child, for a summer wedding.

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:23 am

Chayalle wrote:

LOL I know where this is from (unless there's another gemach with same gown, who knows). It's actually not nearly as bad as the original picture you posted, because the sheer fabric/polka dots gives a lighter appearance and is less severe. However, it's really (IMVHO) more suitable for a winter wedding.

The same Gemach has this in a white, and you posted they don't want to do the white, but IIRC it has pink embellishments on the white version - ribbons on the sleeves and I think at the neck. Very fresh for kids, I would've chosen that one personally.

I removed the pictures, so do you mind removing it from what you quoted? Thanks!!

chanatron1000

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m sorry if you feel misled. To me they look very similar, in that neither are appropriate for a child, especially a young child, for a summer wedding.

To me the defining features of the costume are the corset waist, the bow at the neck, and the solid shiny fabric.

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:24 am

mushkamothers wrote:

It's pretty bad, sorry... I know it's considered fashionable at the moment but black for a summer wedding... for girls...

Is this version in white? I'd do that and wear pink shells under the sleeves and get pink belts and put pink flowers or ribbons in their hair. Now thats a gorgeous look for a bunch of little girls to flounce about at a wedding. And btw the very little girls can absolutely wear white, like bridesmaids.

Do you mind removing the picture from your quote? I removed the pictures I posted.

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:25 am

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

This is actually cute and young and not even similar to the original one you posted! It's very in now. But black for a summer wedding is severe. Maybe put fresh flowers or babies breath in her hair.

Can you please remove the picture from the quote? I removed the pictures.

amother

Jasmine

Tue, May 24 2022, 11:36 am

OP, I think this is such a teachable moment. This is how we raise kids who are not superficial, who don’t get caught up in silliness and in the moment.
“Honey you’re right, it’s really not so fashionable. But like you said, it’s only a few hours - not worth making a fuss or expending so much energy for. I’d love to buy you a nice necklace to accent it, you’ll enjoy the necklace for years after this wedding and you deserve it for being so mature. And you anyway look gorgeous in whatever you wear.”

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 12:08 pm

amother [ Jasmine ] wrote:

That is exactly my plan :-)

chanchy123

Tue, May 24 2022, 12:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m sorry if you feel misled. To me they look very similar, in that neither are appropriate for a child, especially a young child, for a summer wedding.

I’m with you, this style is not to my taste, especially not for children (especially not in black), but it’s not so hideous that it’s embarrassing to wear. OTOH I can imagine my 12 yo flat out refusing to wear a dress that is not to her taste - especially if her little cousins are going to be wearing the same one. Kol hakavod to your daughter for understating that it’s just one night and not the end of the world. You should be proud.

amother

Tue, May 24 2022, 12:55 pm

chanchy123 wrote:

I am :-) She is seriously a perfect teenager, but she has her amazing moments too :-)