How to make it out of this month alive!

amother

Oak

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:49 am

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Yes, I understand all this. I'm married and have been working more than 10 years, my oldest daughter is in high school. Here is the thing, I'm not only comparing being an SLP to 10-15 years ago, I'm STILL an SLP and I assure you, my expenses are higher than yours. My mortgage is a lot more than 2K a month, I have a lot more than one child (BH) to feed and clothe and send to sleep away camp and pay for medical expenses and extracurricular activities, etc. I pay (reduced) tuition in several schools plus a babysitter for my baby. I know what it's like to live on an SLP salary. Of course it's meant as a second salary. How many women today have jobs that support their family fully without the husband bringing in anything?? What do you suggest that would have been better? But my husband is a Rebbe, not a high earner, and we are doing OK BH. Partly because I'm very frugal but also because I make enough. Not tons, but enough. I don't think I am worse off than my friends who went into special education, social work, graphic design, OT, teaching, booking , ultrasound, etc. Even my friends who went into nursing, PA school, pharmacy, shaitels and accounting - they only do better financially if they work crazy hard hours. The ones bringing in lots of money are those with a much worse work-life balance. I start work after my kids are in school and end in time to pick them up for carpool. What could I have done that would have that schedule and make much more?? And that's why I would encourage a daughter to pursue the field if it's in line with her interests. (And we'd pay for her college in full, no student loans iyH, I agree those can be a killer.)

And I think you need to change your perspective from thinking what an awful field you are in. It's poisonous. It's killing your happiness. Shift your attitude a bit from feeling sorry for yourself, work on your Bitachon - you will get out of this rut some time soon, and work on securing the best paying job you possibly can within your field. Thing will be better!

What about social work? She won’t make that much at the beginning, but eventually can open a private practice and make her own hours.

amother

Alyssum

Fri, May 27 2022, 8:53 am

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Love this. I think the grass is always greener on the other side. Therapies give you an opportunity to earn decent money along with the flexibility. Most office workers aren't making $65 per hour. Lawyers, accountants, etc make more and put in a lot more. Most jobs alone aren't meant to fully support a family...a second income is usually needed.

amother

Dahlia

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:03 am

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Do you have any other sources of income besides dh being a rebbi and you being an SLP? Parents/in laws who help you out? (Or have in the past like with buying a house?)

I'm honestly shocked that you can afford to pay 90k for your daughter's speech degree. At approx the same time when you will be paying for her wedding (and will she go to seminary?) My parents could not afford to pay for my degree and they are not in chinuch. And I promise they are more frugal than most people here (probably to an unhealthy extent). Also how many dd's do you have? Will you be paying for all of their degrees?

I feel like something is missing here from the financial picture.

amother

Sand

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:24 am

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

No, no parental help or other sources of outside income - really. My parents supported us for the first year of marriage until I graduated college and since then we've been on our own. We are super careful and live below our means (read my post above about buying old vegetables from the produce stores, dressing my kids fully in hand me downs, I didn't have cleaning help most of my married life, I use minimal disposables, etc). When I was young a newlywed I worked long hours and saved every penny I could.
We bought a house when we were married 11 years (had 6 children at the time) after saving up 100k for the down payment. We bought a house OOT but not in a cheap area. (Happens to be our house is now worth more than double in today's market and we refinanced last year to a very low interest rate. But I haven't borrowed against the house and I hope I never have to. I'm also not planning on selling it anytime soon so that home equity is just on paper and doesn't make a practical difference right now.)

I haven't paid my daughter's college degree yet, she's still in early high school. I hope I'll be able to afford it when the time comes - and for her sisters after her- and I'm hoping that it won't be 90k. I also expect her to pitch in partially. I also don't anticipate paying 50k for their weddings. I do things much simpler than that. But I'm not worrying about that yet...
Right now my goal is to have a job with a good work/life balance, that makes enough to feed and clothe and house my family, in a simple frugal manner, and to put some money into savings each month. BH my husband and I are currently able to do that.

amother

Crimson

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:30 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hey thanks so much! ill try to see if DH can come home early this week.
Will they be doing it next thursday night before yt?
What kind of things do they help with?

were not satmar chassidish is it still ok to go?
were sefardi lol

They will be doing it next week Thursday iyh. There will be lots of yt goodies as well. Everyone is more than welcome!

Reb Shayeles Kitchen has a separate division that helps with financial planning and budgeting. I don't know much about that though.

amother

Dahlia

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:44 am

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

Ok. I'm not asking to be nosy, I'm just curious how it worked out so well. What setting do u work in? What is your salary? Have you had opportunities to get promoted/get raises over the years?

As far as the degree not being 90k-speech is an expensive degree any way you slice it. If you do tons of research and are flexible, maybe you could find cheaper than 90k. But this is not a 40k degree.

Also, how will your dd contribute? Will she use up her personal savings? It isn't necessarily smart for a girl to start off marriage without any savings at all.

As far as weddings I didn't have a 50k wedding either. But that was a while ago. Even a simple bare bones wedding is still a lot.

Basically I'm just wondering if you will think the same about this field in a few years when you are dealing with seminary and weddings and graduate degrees

amother

Fri, May 27 2022, 9:56 am

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Is it outside? In a building?
What are YT goodies?
Is it canned stuff or fruits and veggies and meat?

I have a meeting with someone from achiezer on sunday for budgeting and finances.

Ill reach out to reb shayalas kitchen too..

amother

Crimson

Fri, May 27 2022, 10:04 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It is in a building. Canned foods, fruits and veggies, lots of dairy, salads and dips, bakery cakes and cookies. They have fish sometimes but I don't think they have meat often. The financial services are unrelated to the grocery distribution, there is no need to apply or confirm a slot.

amother

Alyssum

Fri, May 27 2022, 10:47 am

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

$65 sounds like a lot. But an office worker gets a salary. SLP only gets paid for when patient shows up so works out to much less. If 1/2 kids are sick you go to work but don’t get paid.

Typically half the kids aren't out sick. And you usually have enough kids that you can rearrange the schedule a little. I used to do school-based therapy and never missed too many cases due to absences although I did have to juggle things around at times. That's also part of being an agency therapists. Most of the complaints come from agency therapists. The solution is to switch to a salaried job.

amother

Sand

Fri, May 27 2022, 12:07 pm

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

I really gave away too many identifying details at this point, I can't be more specific. I have moved up somewhat over the years (just like OP can and iyH will) but I actually make less than I was making in NYC 15 years ago because I live OOT and salaries are lower here. It is what it is. But I do have a set salary and I have a very manageable pleasant job BH.

I'm not at the wedding/college kids stage yet so we'll see. What I wrote is how I hope things go. I will do more research at the time. My high school daughter doesn't know what she wants to do yet but she isn't so strong academically so I'm not sure speech is really a good idea for her anyway. (My 8 year old says she wants to be an SLP and she has what it takes so maybe it's for her, don't know, time will tell.) But whatever my daughters does decided to go into, I'm not sure that it'll be a better paying field than speech. I don't know what field is realistic/practical for them that is better paying. Maybe that should be its own thread...

amother

Fri, May 27 2022, 6:29 pm

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

No agencies allow you to "move up" I mentioned earlier that I get paid the same as the new CF, or as my friend who is a veteran in the school. DOE jobs are hard to come by and I applied through the portal as well I dont know what else to do to get one of those coveted positions, and hospital jobs have drawbacks as well.

You can say from now until tomorrow to view it through a positive lens- BH I have a masters degree, BH I can make a difference in peoples lives, BH I am good at it, but... the money is just not enough to sustain a family.

I dont know how you do it if your dh is a rebbe and you have a big family. I only have 1 baby and were drowning.

I have to reevaluate like you said and just try to apply to other jobs maybe different settings like a SNF or outpatient rehab I dunno...