Thoughts about looking at public accounts

amother

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:12 am

I made a comment to my son about seeing his friend’s account on Instagram. So he made fun of me for “stalking” his friend. He was joking around and it’s not like I follow him or even check out his page ever. But it made me wonder - is it considered “stalking” if you’re always checking out random people’s accounts that are open? I mean if you constantly check the same account all the time, but they’re not friends of yours or influencers. In my personal opinion, if the information is out there for all to see, then we can all “stalk” to our heart’s content. And likely that’s exactly what these people want us to do! Interested in hearing other people’s thoughts.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:19 am

I mean... If you don't follow the account but keep looking at it... Why don't you just follow?

amother

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:20 am

singleagain wrote:

I mean... If you don't follow the account but keep looking at it... Why don't you just follow?

I don’t like my feed to be flooded.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:25 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t like my feed to be flooded.

Can't you follow but mute certain activity?

amother

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:33 am

singleagain wrote:

Can't you follow but mute certain activity?

To clarify, this isn’t something I constantly engage in. It will happen here and there for whatever reason. Just wondering what people think about the practice in general.

amother

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:35 am

This reminds me of the googling your therapist thread. If something is out there on the internet for all to see, then wouldn’t that be considered public knowledge? It’s not like you hacked into this person’s email or sit outside their house watching their comings and goings. Now that would be stalking!

mushkamothers

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:39 am

It's a public account, so it's public. When my students found my Instagram account I told them it wasn't a secret - it's a public profile. And then we had a discussion about social media safety and oversharing.

amother

Topaz

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:45 am

Stalking imo would be if you're constantly checking it and then discussing it or posting about it. I don't see what makes it stalking to view without following even if it's daily. I'm not stalking the people I follow but I am stalking someone whose else page I check daily? Nope.

icedcoffee

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 8:48 am

People use "stalking" very colloquially when it comes to social media. Ex. "I wasn't sure if she's still living in New York so I stalked her Facebook to see" or "I heard the wedding was beautiful so I stalked her Instagram for photos." The word may have negative connotations in general but it's taken on a more casual/humorous vibe in this context. And I disagree you should feel obligated to follow someone if you find yourself going to their page once in a while. If someone's profile is public, they're fully aware it's out there to be looked at by followers and non-followers alike. You're not doing anything wrong.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 9:18 am

It's social media stalking.

Which is different than you know in real life stalking and harassment

vandm

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 10:06 am

looking often is OK. I also don't like being flooded. It's like a "light" stalking. However, real stalking is more serious and obsessive and people nowadays use the term loosely.

amother

Seablue

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 11:33 pm

I don't follow anyone and I'm constantly checking certain accounts. Don't see why not if it's a public account (which obvs it is).
I feel like following is committing myself more to social media which I don't want to do, and also kind of gives my "approval" on that instagramer's account which I don't feel comfortable with either.

amother

Azure

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 11:37 pm

It's normal everyone does it. It's not stalking as in you are a creep and someone will take out a restraining order against you.

amother

Tulip

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 11:46 pm

It’s normal however OP not sure if you are aware people can see that you have been looking at their page. And that may be why your son was embarassed. It is different a mom looking at a kids friend then one of her friends or someone her age

amother

Azure

Thu, Jun 02 2022, 11:47 pm

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

You can't see who looks at your page only your videos or stories.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 12:01 am

Isn't that kind of the opposite of stalking? I'd consider it more stalkerish to look way back through the feed of an acquaintance.

DrMom

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 12:45 am

Anybody who creates a public website of any kind should expect that people will look at it. To call it "stalking" when people do so seems ridiculous.