S/o checking kids clothing tags

LittleDucky

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 8:38 pm

Dont do it. Just dont. Dont touch my kid or their clothing to see what the tag says or what brand it is. Just dont.
It is an invasion of privacy, of personal space, and is rude. You are teaching kids it's ok for someone besides their parent to touch them without permission and totally normal for people to touch their clothing.
I dont care who you are. Cousin, sister in law, teacher, lady at shul....
Ask me. I will gladly say.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 8:48 pm

LittleDucky wrote:

I thought it was a teacher of little kids, where the teacher is fine to touch them anyway.

I dont think you are teaching little kids about wrong touch. Obviously older kids its not really ok, but little kids ..?

Personally, id be chuffed if I heard people were checking out my kids clothes.
But obviously I only mean very little, like under 3 or maybe 4.

amother

Currant

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 8:51 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

There is something you need to teach your children that has nothing to do with abuse, and that is are you comfortable in this situation? If someone walked up to you and checked the tag in your dress, you would turn around and say hey, excuse me, get out of my face, I’m uncomfortable with this. And it has nothing to do with a person being abused. If you wave away feelings of discomfort, you’re not teaching them to listen to their gut.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 8:56 pm

Teaching little kids that people shouldnt be so near them?

I work in a nursery for 2-3 year olds, the other teachers do check the labels of the kids clothes, sometimes loudly, I dont cos I feel bad. Or if I do occasionally, I do it very discreetly.

I dont think its an especially bad thing to do just dont think its so nice. BUT I dont think its teaching kids anything.. like bad touch or stuff. little kids dont think so deep into it.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 8:56 pm

amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:

I do it to kids(family or friends, I’m not a teacher) who are comfortable with me and I ask them permission first.

Btw, a teacher of little kids touches them anyway so what do you care?

Yes, exactly.

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:01 pm

On one hand I agree don’t do it. But I teach toddlers who just turned 2 and I’ve occasionally checked their tags. I’m touching them all day anyway and they’re too little to care if I do. Older kids, it would feel awkward to do so.

amother

Apple

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:02 pm

Wow!! I have never heard of this until I read the thread today on imamother. Where do you live? I wish I could know who does this and make sure I stay far away from that teacher. The last thing I need is for some teacher judging my kid/acting a certain way toward my kid/ looking at me a certain way based on the way I dress my kids. Yes, I shop at target if you're curious. Oy now I'm scared for next years playgroup...

I think I need to get off this site and remain naive ..

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:07 pm

amother [ Apple ] wrote:

I would never judge you, or act differently towards your child because of where you buy your clothes.

Why would you think you or your child would be looked at a different way??

Most people are checking because they think the child looks extra cute or because they love their outfit. Its not esp a bad thing.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:10 pm

Sure do teachers check and judge/treat kids accordingly. I've seen it big time. I'm literally disgusted that a teacher, or anyone else, thinks it's ok to check kids tags. You're supposed to teach the children and do your shopping planning when you're not in school.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:10 pm

Even if ur touching the 2 year old, it is NOT appropriate to check the child's tag. You touch a little child for things the child needs help. To check tags is a major invasion of privacy.

I would ask you this: would you check the child's tag in front of her mother? Think about why you wouldn't and that should tell you why it's not appropriate

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:13 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

With little kids?
That theyr changing their diapers and taking them to the bathroom ten times a day?

I wouldnt judge.
So materialistic.

I dont think its nice to do to the child but Im just wondering why everyone is getting so defensive.

If someone checks my kids labels it means they like the outfit. Thats it.

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:13 pm

amother [ Apple ] wrote:

I posted above and I would never ever ever judge. I wear nerdy clothing myself. But occasionally for a particular reason I’ll be curious.

LittleDucky

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:16 pm

amother [ Apple ] wrote:

It was a spin off because it was mentioned in another thread. I didnt know teachers etc did that. And I am horrified.
It isnt only about abuse. It is about teaching your kids autonomy, personal space, and being able to say "no". There is a big difference when someone is helping a 2 year do things they cant do independently to help the kid (wash hands, put on a jacket, use restroom...) and just touching more than needed to SERVE YOUR NEEDS. If you glance at the tag of my kids sweatshirt while helping them put it on- I don't care. If you walk over to my kid and touch them, flick back their shirt tag etc to see? Dont.

And FYI the initial thread wasnt just about 2 year olds and teachers. Apparently relatives did it to satisfy their curiosity. And they werent helping the kid of unspecified age. But teachers then chimed in saying it was normal to do that. I was shocked.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:19 pm

amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:

I posted above and I would never ever ever judge. I wear nerdy clothing myself. But occasionally for a particular reason I’ll be curious.

No reason or excuse whatsoever makes it acceptable or appropriate to check tags of kids clothing. As their teacher, you're supposed to touch them only when necessary, anything more than that is an invasion of their personal space. Which you should be teaching them about. It is inappropriate and unacceptable for anyone to touch little children for their own personal interests and curiosity.
Would you check a child's tag in front of their parent?

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:20 pm

amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote:

Would you speak to a 2 year old the same way you treat him in class, in front of the mother ? No, not always. Obviously you are super nice and polite when the mother is there, yet there are times when you need to be firm and strict or even tell off a child.

Not cause youre doing anything wrong, but because you dont need the mother to see every little thing and get upset if something is not exactly according to her liking.

There are things you speak about to a 2 year old child that you wouldnt necessarily talk in front of the mother.
Eg what did you have for breakfast?
Dis your daddy get a new car?
Etc etc

Would I ask the mother where the outfit is from? I think thats fine.

I dont think thats a good enough reason to say its not approriate just because you wou wouldnt do it in front of the mother.

If the child could talk and answer where the outfits from, you wouldnt be checking.