S/o checking kids clothing tags

Ema of 5

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:23 pm

amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:

I do it to kids(family or friends, I’m not a teacher) who are comfortable with me and I ask them permission first.

Btw, a teacher of little kids touches them anyway so what do you care?

She shouldn’t be touching them inside their clothes, unless she is changing a diaper.
Why is it so hard to not look at a tag and just call or text the mom and say “I love what your kid was wearing today, where did you get it from?”

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:28 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

No reason or excuse whatsoever makes it acceptable or appropriate to check tags of kids clothing. As their teacher, you're supposed to touch them only when necessary, anything more than that is an invasion of their personal space. Which you should be teaching them about. It is inappropriate and unacceptable for anyone to touch little children for their own personal interests and curiosity.
Would you check a child's tag in front of their parent?

If the boss wants to fire me, let her, but I doubt she would as I care for the kids nicely and the market being what it is, tag checking is a minor offense.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:28 pm

amother [ Canary ] wrote:

It’s inappropriate and nosy. In Yiddish, I would call this being a yenta. If you really must know where my kids’ clothing are from you can ask me.

Yes its nosy.
Yes its yenta ish.

But thats as far as it goes.
Its not a terrible thing like inappropriate touch.
0bviously child shouldnt be made to feel uncomfortable eg turn around, stay still a second.

But to do it discreetly, I think its ok.

Are.people saying its wrong because they feel judged, or wrong because of the touching ??

Bevause I dont think its so bad about the touching part...

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:29 pm

Being a teacher of little kids does not give you license to be a yenta. No, you should not be asking the child Did you're Daddy buy a new car? Little kids tend to 9vershare but that doesn't give the teacher a right to ask nosy questions.

And, yes, if you can't say the comment in front of the parent, you should find a way to phrase the comment in a manner that would be appropriate to say in front of the parent. You don't get the right to say whatever you please to little children just because you know they can't repeat what you said....

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:31 pm

amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:

Then don’t send your child to the daycare I work at. If the boss wants to fire me, let her, but I doubt she would as I care for the kids nicely and the market being what it is, tag checking is a minor offense.

I'm horrified that you're trying to justify this and saying that it's ok. It's not ok.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:32 pm

I have to say that after reading posts by preschool/playgroup/daycare teachers, I'm getting really nervous a out what goes on behind classroom. Doors.

Teachers, we are trusting you with our innocent darling children. Please don't abuse your power.

Btw, I do think this group is a minority. I think, at least I hope,majority of teachers don't do this shtik

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:32 pm

amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote:

Are you a teacher of little kids??

I dont think these questions are considered nosy.

They help to engage the child in conversation. Especially rhe children that arent so confidenr.

Nope I dont need to know (and be ok with!) every single thing the teacher said to my child that day.

amother

Canary

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:36 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

I don’t feel judged, and it’s not about touching inappropriately. It’s just not polite and you would never do it to an adult or in front of the kid’s parents. Because you know it’s inappropriate. And doing it discreetly doesn’t make it less okay. It just makes you a discreet yenta.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:36 pm

amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote:

Im sorry I made you nervous.

There is nothing going on.
At least in my workplace .

I dont think its a nice thing to do but to do it discreetly where child doesnt evwn realise is really fine.

Were talking about 2 year olds here.

We wipe them after using the toilet and change their dirty diapers , you have nothing to worry about.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:39 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

Oh, and kids do realize when teachers do this. My girls have told me that certain teachers always "looked inside the back" of their clothing.

2 year olds?
Were they bothered?

Im not mocking you, just trying to understand.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:41 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

2 year olds?
Were they bothered?

Im not mocking you, just trying to understand.

It doesn't matter if they were bothered about it or not, the point is that they realized. Doing this to young children is taking advantage of them. That's unfair. You wouldn't do it to an adult, you don't do it to children.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:43 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

Age doesn't matter. It's actually worse to do it to 2 year olds vs adults because you're taking advantage of them. You change their diapers because that's what you're supposed to be doing. You're supposed to be caring for them. Checking clothing tags doesn't fall into the category of caring for the children.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:46 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

Yes then it isnt nice. I agree.

There are lots of things you wouldnt do to an adult but you would do to a child..
I wouldnt call it taking advantage though.
That makes it sound bad. And a red flag

amother

Dandelion

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:48 pm

It's so many levels of horrifying. The morahs at my kids school are completely professional and would NEVER violate a child like this nor do they give two twats what the kids wear to school. Ughhhhh

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:50 pm

Just wondering
what about seeing where their backpack is from?
Or their lunchbox?

I hear everyone thats saying its not nice and yentaish , yes I agree.
But to say its inappropriate and teaching bad safery skills makes me feel a bit perplexed. Confused

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:54 pm

amother [ SandyBrown ] wrote:

Would you speak to a 2 year old the same way you treat him in class, in front of the mother ? No, not always. Obviously you are super nice and polite when the mother is there, yet there are times when you need to be firm and strict or even tell off a child.

Not cause youre doing anything wrong, but because you dont need the mother to see every little thing and get upset if something is not exactly according to her liking.

There are things you speak about to a 2 year old child that you wouldnt necessarily talk in front of the mother.
Eg what did you have for breakfast?
Dis your daddy get a new car?
Etc etc

Would I ask the mother where the outfit is from? I think thats fine.

I dont think thats a good enough reason to say its not approriate just because you wou wouldnt do it in front of the mother.

If the child could talk and answer where the outfits from, you wouldnt be checking.

For the love of G-d please tell me this is satire. Did your Daddy get a new car? REALLY??

amother

Canary

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:59 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

For the love of G-d please tell me this is satire. Did your Daddy get a new car? REALLY??

There’s something called milking a child for information. It’s inappropriate and impolite. It’s not okay to ask inside information from a child just because you’re curious. The point is not if she’s asking about a new car or on something else. Just don’t milk kids for information to fill your curiosity.