Need help! Daughter refuses to wear training bra

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:57 pm

Daughter is 11 yrs old. I first got her those camis with shelf bra attached. She claimed it wasn't comfortable because the rubber rode up (it was the proper size). Then I took her to a lingerie store so she can be properly fitted. She claimed she would rather wear a plain sports bra vs undershirt type. Woman fitted her with most beginner sports bra and daughter said it was comfy. After her shower she's crying buckets that the rubber us uncomfortable and she doesnt want to wear it. I tried explaining that all bras are like this and it takes getting used to. And also that the less you think about it the less it'll bother you...etc. It's the rubber and Snug feeling that bothers her.

To no avail. Ideas?? Please help.

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:59 pm

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

How big is she? Does she really need a training bra already?

She has a bit more than buds. For certain summer clothes yes. Woman in store didn't doubt that it was necessary.

amother

Magnolia

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:00 pm

My daughter is also 11. I bought her the undershirts with built in shelf bra. A few weeks later she tells me she cut out the inside piece cuz it was annoying her lol.
Now she just years an undershirt And I don't buy her clothes that are very thin, ribbed, or clingy. I'm assuming she'll get to the point where she wants to wear something. I'll try again in another few months.

amother

Dahlia

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:03 pm

Let her wear regular undershirts with no shelf bra and get looser tops. She has to get their on her own.

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:06 pm

amother [ Magnolia ] wrote:

I actually tried cutting the rubber but it rolls up and doesnt sit flat.

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:07 pm

amother [ Dahlia ] wrote:

Let her wear regular undershirts with no shelf bra and get looser tops. She has to get their on her own.

Will she become less sensory over time? Summer clothes are done already.....

amother

Cappuccino

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:23 pm

Validate her. She's having a hard time with this transition and she needs you to support her through it. It's possible your frustration is coming through and making her feel even less comfortable with it. Then bring her to a big store like Nordstrom. Let her look around. Show her 20 different bras in her size. Let her choose which ones to try and which ones to buy. Let her choose the colors and the number. The more autonomy she has, the better she will feel.

amother

Arcticblue

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:06 pm

My super sensory DD wears these and loves them. I tried probably 10 other types before this.
For how flimsy they are, they hold her quite well
https://www.target.com/p/girls.....45095

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:09 pm

My daughter is 10 and putting up the same fight with the same complaint... I also told her it takes time to get used to... imagine wearing tights for the first time, it squeezes ur stomach but somehow we get used to it... anyways I dropped the topic but I did point out to her in some shirts its not okay to wear nothing... on her own she wears it about once a week... I assume eventually she'll see her friends wear it and she will start to too...
Gluck!

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:38 pm

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

My super sensory DD wears these and loves them. I tried probably 10 other types before this.
For how flimsy they are, they hold her quite well
https://www.target.com/p/girls.....45095

Thank you! I'll try these

amother

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:39 pm

amother [ Celeste ] wrote:

Whew! Guess I'm not the only one. Maybe I'll drop the topic for 3 months and see what happens.

amother

Thistle

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:49 pm

Also same situation here. My daughters’s younger but definitely budding and needs something for most shirts. She won’t even try on something resembling a bra or sports bra. I’m trying to start slowly with just camis without the built in bra to get her use to having something between her and the shirt. She hates it but is getting better about it and not fighting it. Gd willing she’ll be able to wear something more supportive and thicker when necessary.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 10:56 pm

It’s getting used to it my friend had same issue so she started her daughter slowly and with certain outfits then added another day till it grew on her.

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:23 pm

Yes if I could do things differently I would put her in a plain undershirt daily from a younger age, so it wouldnt be such a transition...

amother

Lemonlime

Wed, Jun 22 2022, 11:54 pm

Dd refused too. So told her she should only wear them with certain clingy'ish tops. I Also made her try them with and without it and asked her which way she like herself more. I also bought her about 6 different styles untill she found mr right.

DrMom

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 12:26 am

oneofakind wrote:

Sometimes professional places fit you too tight. Go to Walmart and let her try on a bunch.

This. Plus, why does an 11-yo need a professional fitter? Let her have some privacy and just try on things on her own without any pressure or weirdness.

amother

Firethorn

Thu, Jun 23 2022, 2:20 am

I bought Calvin Klein ones on Amazon for my dd that are similar to the target ones above.
No padding, only soft bra.