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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:25 pm
Someone I used to be friendly with but haven't spoken with in years reached out to me the other day to ask me a random question. Then, the next day, she proceeded to send me a fundraising request for a cause that she was connected to. I found this really inappropriate. I am not in the position to give right now and I had to tell her this. I resent the fact that I had to share hints about my financial status with someone I no longer know. I felt that I had to excuse the fact I was not donating to this cause that was personal to her by saying that I can't right now. Thoughts?
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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:27 pm
I would have just ignored the message with the request. You don't owe her any explanation.
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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 8:30 pm
Next time reply: I already have other obligations at this time. Sorry.

She doesn't have to know if the obligation is to pay your rent, if you pledged a monthly donation to a specific organization for the year, or if you are supporting a family member.
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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:05 pm
I just wouldn’t respond.

I really hate this new era of fundraising, my kids school tried to get me to spam all my contacts, I just didn’t respond to them too. I sent in a(n anonymous) donation myself because I did want to support the cause, but on my own terms.
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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:06 pm
I had the same story. She said give a $1 or 2 and that's what I did. No I don't have a well paying job.
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Post Tue, Jun 28 2022, 9:20 pm
I had that, only it was to solicit my business. I felt so pressured to say yes, kept pushing her off, until I couldn't any longer. Still kind of regret doing it. (Not that we weren't interested in the service, but I probably wouldn't have used her if I was researching on my own.) So awkward.
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Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 12:41 am
You don't owe fundraisers anything, not even an explanation of why you choose not to give to their cause. Certainly you don't have to confide your financial situation because it's none of their business. You have the right to choose where your tzedaka money goes, and if you decide that you want to give it all to one particular place, that's entirely your call and not theirs. it's unpleasant when people hit you up for donations, but when someone you have nothing to do with suddenly gets friendly because they're raising funds, that's just plain nerve. You need not allow yourself to get sucked in. Just say no. I like "I'm sorry but I have other obligations" without stating what those obligations may be. Whether you pledged a million bucks to build a new school building or owe six years' back tuition, it's nobody's business but your own.
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Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 1:32 am
Oh my gosh you can totally relate. I hate when people reach out to me out of the blue and seem like they're friendly when all they really wanted was my money. Sometimes I ignore and sometimes I just say I have other applications. I certainly don't have a reason why I can or can't. And I could never do that to someone else. I have my school or something has asked me to fundraise maybe I'll post it on my status but there's no way I'm sending messages to individual people. I actually have a friend that asked me if I could help fundraiser for her wedding. I told her I could give her something I certainly couldn't sponsor the wedding and I was not comfortable asking other people. I don't really know who is the financial position to give. I feel like even when people look like they have the money you really just don't know. I know there's people that are professional at this and to me that is different. Just posting my understanding status is also different it gives people the opportunity..
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Post Wed, Jun 29 2022, 1:33 am
Really don’t understand why she needed explanation of financial status, that’s not normal. If you’d rather tell her then that’s fine, but you made a choice to tell her and are upset with her about it. Nothing needed to be said. Either don’t respond, or reply good luck. No explanation needed!
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