Home

If I know some of my shabbos guests don't eat red meat--

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette


View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:28 am
Is it rude of me to make my typical standard cholent with flanken? Obviously I will also serve chicken and everything else is meat free, but typically the cholent is kind of the star of the lunch meal.

Please don't suggest chicken or turkey cholent. I don't want to speak disparagingly about food other people enjoy, but....just no.

I could make it parve. Everyone else who does eat meat will be disappointed though. I almost never serve meat during the week and kids and DH really look forward to the flanken and marrow bones.

Oh, and guests in question are my MIL and FIL. Does that tilt the scale?
Back to top

amother




Taupe
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:29 am
If you serve another main course, I think its fine
Back to top

amother




Wine
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:30 am
I'd make a regular beef chalont and a small parve one for the in laws.
Back to top

amother




DarkViolet
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:37 am
How do you feel about your in-laws?
(How does DH feel about his parents and you about him?)

If it was me, I would either make 2-one with meat and one pareve, or just a pareve one, but I get along well with and respect my in-laws.

If you make a pareve one, in addition to chicken, you can make a small brisket or London broil.
Back to top

amother




Anemone
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:37 am
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
If you serve another main course, I think its fine

Agree, with the caveat that the other main course needs to be something you know they will enjoy. I wouldn't say that if they were random guests, but for FIL and MIL, you and your husband should know what they like.

This is assuming you will have at least a few different sides also.
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:40 am
Echoing those who said as long as you have some other kind of fleishig component, you should be fine.

Unless your in laws are like my MIL, who hates mushrooms and gets offended if I serve anything with mushrooms. So like on Thanksgiving, I make a killer stuffing and it has mushrooms, so I make her a small one just for her with none... and she is still offended. I let her have her feelings and enjoy my meal.
Back to top

amother




Anemone
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:48 am
Another factor: for me, stuff like this also depends on how often they come. If they live in another country and visit for a few days once a year, I would really try to cater to their tastes on every part of the meal.

If they come for Shabbos dinner every week, then they are more like regular members of the family whose preferences count, but not much more than anyone else's.
Back to top

amother




Tomato
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:56 am
I would make a second cholent for them. You can get a small crock pot for cheap.
Back to top

amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 11:59 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is it rude of me to make my typical standard cholent with flanken? Obviously I will also serve chicken and everything else is meat free, but typically the cholent is kind of the star of the lunch meal.

Please don't suggest chicken or turkey cholent. I don't want to speak disparagingly about food other people enjoy, but....just no.

I could make it parve. Everyone else who does eat meat will be disappointed though. I almost never serve meat during the week and kids and DH really look forward to the flanken and marrow bones.

Oh, and guests in question are my MIL and FIL. Does that tilt the scale?


Make some separately that’s pareve, and the regular cholent as well. It’s easy, just put one up before you add the meat and then do the standard one with it.
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 12:25 pm
It’s fine if you make another main you know they will like. I wouldn’t make pareve cholent for them unless they are really into it, otherwise it’s just a waste in my opinion
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 12:31 pm
It's not like talking a foreign language in front of people who don't understand it, which is unspeakably (haha) rude. Everyone doesn't eat something, and if you removed from your table everything that any attendee doesn't eat, you'd have nothing to serve. As long as you provide alternatives, no one should have a problem.
Back to top

amother




Marigold
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 12:59 pm
Can you put a second cholent bag in the crock pot with a mini cholent that fits their diet.

We actually had the opposite growing up. My father didn't eat red meat. When we had outside company my mother would make 2 cholents.
Back to top

Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 1:05 pm
If you are making another main dish why can't it also be a "star". Unless the people absolutely must have some form of cholent, they are going to be fine not eating it - it is not as if you are *insulting* them by making one dish they won't enjoy so long as you are also providing them with a comparable entree.
Back to top

essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 1:59 pm
zaq wrote:
It's not like talking a foreign language in front of people who don't understand it, which is unspeakably (haha) rude. Everyone doesn't eat something, and if you removed from your table everything that any attendee doesn't eat, you'd have nothing to serve. As long as you provide alternatives, no one should have a problem.

This is exactly what I was going to say.
I have several children. There's hardly anything that all of them eat. We always have something (usually many things) that each person likes and will eat.
I don't believe in making everyone eat the same thing.
My sister married a vegetarian while my brother is a major carnivore. Thankfully when they're together my mother makes dishes for each of them.
Back to top

imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2022, 2:03 pm
I would really ask dh what he thinks is better for HIS parents: no cholent or second parce Cholent.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Did you ever eat
by amother
9 Yesterday at 2:03 pm View last post
Place to go for Shabbos Chanukah, within 2 hours of NYC
by amother
3 Tue, Dec 06 2022, 11:50 pm View last post
Shabbos makeup 6 Tue, Dec 06 2022, 2:36 pm View last post
I love cinnamon buns but they don't come out good!
by amother
9 Tue, Dec 06 2022, 1:53 pm View last post
Why don't frum stores have mirrors in the dressing room?
by amother
46 Tue, Dec 06 2022, 10:55 am View last post