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Surfview cottage Ami serial.. Leah is my friend IRL
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2022, 10:10 pm
This story is so freaky. I have this ongoing with my friend. I know Riki and myself are terribly insecure people but I don't know how to break this cycle. I really hope this story brings in some good therapy room discussions. Its funny how I've discussed this serial with a few friends and all of them say Leah is crazy but Riki is an even bigger nerd and its probably true but I understand Riki so much. I feel so sorry for her. Being a chronic people pleaser and having these people in our life are just a recipe for disaster.
Recently I slogged all day for my anniversary and my friend said "why would u do this , your husband should treat you equally" In an instant all my excitment evaporated for this dinner. Yes, I know Im stupid but I cant help taking her words to heart.
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amother




Topaz
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2022, 10:22 pm
Really they are portraying Leah as everyone’s toxic friend - it’s easier to see it about someone else - but many of us live with people like that, having serious damage done to ourselves and our marriages. Let’s hope Rikki realizes it.
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amother




Honey
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2022, 10:57 pm
I read the latest installment today and I wanted to throw the magazine across the room I HATE Leah she is the most appalling character I’ve ever known in a story. I analyzed her to death already-she probably has some kind of personality disorder first of all, has a miserable marriage, hates herself, maybe never had any proper role models in her parents. Someone like that is a broken, miserable person. She’s really a rachmanus. I don’t think the other woman like her at all it seems like they just tolerate her. I used to be Rikki so I identify with her and I don’t think she’s a nebach I think she’ll eventually get sick of Leah and realize who she is or Rikkis DH will eventually set her straight
All the Leah’s is the world look for sweet trusting people to prey on and when that person gets such of them they move on to find the next victim
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2022, 11:46 pm
I think these stories do a valuable service, bringing awareness of how friends can influence
us in a bad way.

I see Leah as a rich princess, who encourages friends to demand luxuries from their husbands,
not understanding their financial constraints. And this causes Sholom Bayis problems.

I don't think Leah is evil, just clueless.
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Genius




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2022, 11:57 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
I think these stories do a valuable service, bringing awareness of how friends can influence
us in a bad way.

I see Leah as a rich princess, who encourages friends to demand luxuries from their husbands,
not understanding their financial constraints. And this causes Sholom Bayis problems.

I don't think Leah is evil, just clueless.

A little birdie tells me Leah’s shalom bayis isn’t too glorious.
Her husband is either a happy idiot or a miserable victim.
Her poor future daughters in law. Bh it’s fictional. Phew! Dodged a couple of bullets there.
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vanillatwilight




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:01 am
I was wondering if there are people like leah in real life. She is so negative and toxic, can’t imagine anyone would even want to be her friend or care what she thinks.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:03 am
Most writers base their characters on people (or combination of people) they know in real life.
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Genius




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:04 am
vanillatwilight wrote:
I was wondering if there are people like leah in real life. She is so negative and toxic, can’t imagine anyone would even want to be her friend or care what she thinks.

There sure are. These people convinced themselves that their opinions are scientific laws and work their entire lives to push those opinions down everyone’s throat.
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:06 am
If your friends with a Leah- run
That friendship should be over yesterday
She will cause you nothing but grief
Literally don’t say another word to her starting right now
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creditcards




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:08 am
Can someone explain to me why she wasn't invited to Leah's grill without her husband?
It's either all or nothing? Why couldn't she say my husband had to go back to the city but I'm joining you with my kids?
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amother




PlumPink
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:12 am
There’s a Leah in my colony and probably one in every colony. She has several Rikis in her orbit. One of them tried to break free one summer. Some of us tried to help her. Leah did a smear campaign on all of us. And The next summer Riki was besties with Leah all over again. It’s sad and frustrating to watch, but nothing anyone can do. At this point I’m just nice to everyone and turn deaf and blind to the dysfunction. If they’re happy this way let them keep doing their thing.
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amother




Alyssum
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 1:37 am
I'm reading the story and can't believe someone like Rikki exists and can't see through Leah's words and behavior. Maybe irl Leah isn't as obvious?
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 2:17 am
Probably not as obvious in real life. But that would be boring in a story - so needs some exaggeration.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 4:52 am
amother [ Alyssum ] wrote:
I'm reading the story and can't believe someone like Rikki exists and can't see through Leah's words and behavior. Maybe irl Leah isn't as obvious?


These Leahs are disguised in the public. They choose people like me to show their true colours. My 'Leah' is not such a loud public person. I was telling her that dh is on a diet so I get up a little earlier to cut him a salad. Her response was "your way too good, I really hope your husband appreciate you". GRRR. then when dh doesnt walk in and compliment me all my resentment surface. She keeps telling me Im way too good as a wife. I recently read the empowered wife and was happy to see that Im actually on the right track.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 4:58 am
OP, this friend is really a danger to your Sholom Bayis.

Marriage is challenging enough without a friend stirring up resentment against DH.

I really think you should drop this "friend".

You would not like it if DH had a friend who was causing DH to resent you.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 6:10 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
These Leahs are disguised in the public. They choose people like me to show their true colours. My 'Leah' is not such a loud public person. I was telling her that dh is on a diet so I get up a little earlier to cut him a salad. Her response was "your way too good, I really hope your husband appreciate you". GRRR. then when dh doesnt walk in and compliment me all my resentment surface. She keeps telling me Im way too good as a wife. I recently read the empowered wife and was happy to see that Im actually on the right track.


Why did you share with her what you do for your husband? It's private and should be kept between a couple.

Many people over share and that's when the problems start. You literally give other people ammunition which can ruin your marriage.
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amother




Hyacinth
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:41 am
Op you need to run run run!!! You deserve better, even if she's your only friend it's still not worth it. I have a next door neighbor who is somewhat like that. She is very insecure & unhappy. She doesn't understand why I don't hang out with her too much, but every time I do I come back with a bitter taste in my mouth. I really do feel bad for her, but I can't fix her problems...
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 8:42 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
These Leahs are disguised in the public. They choose people like me to show their true colours. My 'Leah' is not such a loud public person. I was telling her that dh is on a diet so I get up a little earlier to cut him a salad. Her response was "your way too good, I really hope your husband appreciate you". GRRR. then when dh doesnt walk in and compliment me all my resentment surface. She keeps telling me Im way too good as a wife. I recently read the empowered wife and was happy to see that Im actually on the right track.


Agreed, the story is written so “Leah” and her behaviors are very obvious but in real life those kind of friends are more subtle and wear away at every aspect of your life until you can no longer see any good in your life but only all the bad that she is constantly pointing out. Been there done that. As hard as it is to break free, its liberating to start LIVING for yourself, your husband, and children again
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Tova




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 11:58 am
It reminds me of the dynamic of Batya and Ruth (think I got those names right) in Green Fences (anyone remember it? By Riva Pomerantz, serialized in Mishpacha years ago).
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amother




Heather
 

Post Sun, Jul 24 2022, 12:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
These Leahs are disguised in the public. They choose people like me to show their true colours. My 'Leah' is not such a loud public person. I was telling her that dh is on a diet so I get up a little earlier to cut him a salad. Her response was "your way too good, I really hope your husband appreciate you". GRRR. then when dh doesnt walk in and compliment me all my resentment surface. She keeps telling me Im way too good as a wife. I recently read the empowered wife and was happy to see that Im actually on the right track.


I hope I'm not being Leah. Many times people tell me something they do and my response is, "wow your such a good wife, I'm not so good." I meant it that I don't know how they do it. I hope they didn't take it the wrong way.
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