Getting a Dog | Imamother

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Pets

Getting a Dog

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watergirl

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 6:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hmm I absolutely hear you on this. I think this is the discomfort I find too. I think, however, this furtger strengthens my thoughts that a large reason frum dont have (as commonly) is because of what others would assume/think. Which is uncomfortable/ troubling to me. Basically, peer pressure to the opposite way.

A lot of what is done in many communities is done only because of the fear of public opinion.

amother

Iris

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 7:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oof that does sound rough! What breed did you have? Were likely getting a small cavapoo which are known to be friendly and non aggressive. Its also really small so cant "run you over"

That’s a great choice for an anti dog community. I was outside with the kids when someone frum walked by with (I think it was that breed) and the kids were really excited to check her out. Doesn’t look or act scary.

esther990

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 7:22 am

We always had pets. Currently have a cat, and I am hoping we get a saint bernard next

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 7:25 am

esther990 wrote:

We always had pets. Currently have a cat, and I am hoping we get a saint bernard next

Going from a cat to a St. Bernard is a huge jump! I just find that a funny juxtaposition.

When I was a girl I really wanted a Great Dane, but my dreams have downsized. Smile

esther990

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 7:50 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Going from a cat to a St. Bernard is a huge jump! I just find that a funny juxtaposition.

When I was a girl I really wanted a Great Dane, but my dreams have downsized. Smile

We’ve had a Caucasian shepperd before Smile

my husband grew up with German shepherds. So we are very familiar with large dogs.

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 9:33 am

esther990 wrote:

We’ve had a Caucasian shepperd before Smile

my husband grew up with German shepherds. So we are very familiar with large dogs.

Great! Enjoy... But oh, the slobber! LOL

amother

Lemonchiffon

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 11:43 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

I'm not going to start arguing about why but you are going to limit who will come to your house if you have a dog. Play dates, shabbos guests, neighbors. Some people will love it and be more likely to come, others will stay away. But be aware that it's a real change, even in a more mixed OOT community.
Having a dog is absolutely work, energy, effort and money. You might think that it's worth the benefits but some dogs are needier than others and the responsibility for a dog chewing up or eating your stuff, throwing up, licking food on the counter, going to the vet, needing to be walked/let out no matter the weather or if it's convenient for you tends to fall on the mother. If it doesn't for you or you don't care, great. But it often does. Maybe some of this is mitigated by choosing a breed and age very carefully.
Even the whole discussion on halachos regarding pets is complicated. Let's say you look into it and find that your rav says XYZ is mutar, there are still people who don't feel that way and it is what it is in our communities.
I like dogs, grew up with them, have no fear of them but I still dislike the culture of having a pet as part of your family. To me, it feels very non jewish. It's hard to convey my tone in writing but I'm really just trying to be honest in a non judgemental way. If you want a dog and if works for your family, then do what works best for you! I'm not a conformist and I don't think all families are the same or need to be the same. I'm just basing this off of what I see from friends and neighbors who have dogs. It has positives but it also has negatives and some of those negatives in the frum world are going to be things like 'it's non jewish' or 'halachically probablematic' or 'unclean/tamay/not proper for a Jewish family' and there's no arguing with those kinds of feelings. And a dog is a long term commitment.

A lot more people come to our house because we have pets. My kids love taking care of the animals. I think this only applies to some more insular communities. BH for our OOT community Smile

Elfrida

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 11:50 am

When we went to choose our dog from the shelter, there was a beautiful black alsatian that I wanted. My mother said we were having the spaniel. So that's what we got.

BH Yom Yom

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 12:01 pm

watergirl wrote:

I'll share a funny/sad anecdote re: the expense of a dog to illustrate how non-dog owners think a dog will always be expensive. It really is eilu v'eilu. You can spend a ton... or not.

My husband's ex wife was in court and beis din with him a number of years back. She was claiming he owed her tens of thousands of dollars (he did not and both courts threw out the case but that's a story for a different forum). One of her claims was that he (we) had a dog and we were feeding the dog and taking the dog to the vet rather than feeding his kids and paying for their doctors bills. Aside from being an outright lie about feeding kids and doctors bills (we had the receipts from the doctors and he paid his CS every month on time), not only did he tell the BD and court that he is happy to provide the dog food receipts, he is also happy to provide the vet records and account to show that we spend the $20/6 weeks on food and $100/3 years on vet bills.

The dayanim in beis din told her to stop bringing up the dog and the bills and said we are entitled to have our family dog. This was a very very frum and very highly regarded beis din. The secular judge would not even hear it.

I'm bringing this up to illustrate a few points - the expense is not always so high, and that the dayanim in beis din had zero issue with us having a dog and defended it.

Wow. Good for the bais din!

I have cats, not dogs, but for me the most expensive part of having pets has been emergency or otherwise unforeseen vet care. I have pet insurance for that reason and BH it has been extremely helpful in keeping those costs down.

Not_in_my_town

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 1:41 pm

How much does pet insurance run? I know it may vary, but general ballpark?

vintagebknyc

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 1:47 pm

Not_in_my_town wrote:

How much does pet insurance run? I know it may vary, but general ballpark?

Depends on where you live, what kind of pet, how old the pet is, etc.

amother

Offwhite

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 3:03 pm

My brother and family have a dog that they love.
But he said one thing that’s hard is that you can’t be doche Shabbos for it if it has an emergency.
I don’t know the halachos, but that worried him.

amother

Geranium

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 3:08 pm

Great point
Have had dog emergencies on shabbos and Y”T and it was a real problem
No leeway like for a person
Think this is another major reason not so common amongst frum families.
Plus expense and upkeep and what to do on shabbos about walking dog and if going away and more
And barking and waking up babies
Oy and don't get me started on Pesach food for the dogs...who do not like a change in their diet or they do but their tummies and digestion do not.
Shedding picking up poop and vomit shampooing and mail clipping it’s gotta be a labor of love beyond cute puppy

amother

Apricot

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 3:11 pm

It is a great idea to volunteer to dog sit for two or four weeks , find someone who needs a place. Then you will know how it is.

I feel so bad every time I see a family get a pet and end up giving it to a shelter.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 6:17 pm

Not_in_my_town wrote:

How much does pet insurance run? I know it may vary, but general ballpark?

It depends pet's age, breed, and location (your zip code). Like human health insurance, it all has to do with calculated risk. Older pets and breeds prone to certain illnesses are more expensive, and zip codes with higher veterinary costs are more expensive. And after a certain age (usually 3 or 4), the premium will increase yearly as the pet ages. Ranging from a young cheaper breed cat to an older more expensive breed dog, it can range from $15/month to $150/month (just a ballpark, there's prob more or less). You can't know until you get a quote, which is pretty easy on most pet insurance websites.

Pet health insurance is for unexpected accidents and illnesses and never covers pre-existing conditions, and all companies will be very insistent on the 18 months of medical records from before you enroll, proof of a yearly wellness exam and results from before you enroll, etc. so they can be sure a condition isn't pre-existing.

Most insurances will have an optional wellness add on where you pay an additional amount monthly for some fixed wellness reimbursements for your yearly exam, vaccines, dental work, etc.

Also, vets don't usually bill insurance. You pay the full amount upfront to the vet and then submit your invoice to your insurance for reimbursement.

There are also a few stand alone wellness plans or discount plans out there that don't depend on age/breed because they're not true insurance. You pay a certain (cheaper than insurance) amount a month and get some fixed benefits on wellness.

watergirl

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 6:28 pm

amother [ Geranium ] wrote:

Oy and don't get me started on Pesach food for the dogs...who do not like a change in their diet or they do but their tummies and digestion do not.

Pesach isn’t a big deal. There are many options. We feed our dogs acceptable for pesach food year round.

amother

Brown

Tue, Aug 02 2022, 8:19 pm

Chiming in here - we are a very “mainstream” family in mainstream in town community. Got a dog two years ago. Best thing we ever did. Although we did have some neighbors who weren’t happy with us at the beginning. All my kids friends who were scared of dogs became comfortable with our dog. Even my sister in law who had a major phobia is comfortable in my house at this point. Please don’t get a cavapoo- they are easily excitable and barky and harder to train.
Look at beboandco - fantastic breeder who sells hypoallergenic dogs. They hang out with their mom and play with the human kids until you get them so they are very familiar with being potty trained on grass and also very into kids. We had a really wonderful experience. The groomer also tells me how well behaved and special our dog is and I’m sure it’s bec of the breeder. We have a shichon (mix of shi tzu and bichon frise)

amother

Wed, Aug 03 2022, 3:47 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

Im suprised because Ive only ever heard theyre easy to train and calm because of the cavalier in them- which was a royal lapdog. Can you tell me more about your experience with cavapoos?

I'll check out the breeder you mentioned! Ty!

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