Please help: struggling so much with my weight AFTER surgery

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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

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amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 4:58 am

I am nearly three years post Bariatric surgery and struggling tremendously. I am purposely not posting this in the Bariatrics surgery section, as I want opinions/help from everyone, not just those who’ve done the surgery…
At my highest weight, I was about 100 pounds overweight.
Being that I’m very short, I looked and felt extra terrible, and was actually having all sorts of health problems aside from feeling awful about it emotionally.
Finally, nearly 3 years ago, I took the plunge and did the sleeve. This was shortly before COVID hit, and initially I thought the surgery was successful. I lost about 50 pounds (but I lost nearly 10 in the weeks leading up to the surgery, so the actual surgery took off maybe 40 pounds - not even…)
After 4 months - I stopped losing - just when COVID hit. It could be my eating plan really went down the drain because all the kids were home and the stress was very bad, and while others gained during COVID, I stayed the same…so that was my gain…
In any case, I’m struggling just as much as ever. Though I yo-yo back and forth, I gained back at least 15 pounds (maybe more by now, as my clothing is getting tighter but I’m too scared now to go on the scale).
I’m down maybe 25 pounds now, and I am totally wearing a plus size. I don’t feel well. I hate how I look. I feel like a failure.
I joined an exercise group but hate exercise and barely do it.
I can’t stick to the low carb diet and crave carbs all day.
They told me they cut out the part of the stomach that causes hunger - I don’t know…I’m hungry and think about food A LOT. I try to restrict, and then just binge.
I tried a keto-type diet, and got vitamin deficient, felt exhausted, and couldn’t sustain it. Whatever I lost on that I gained back with interest.
I went to several nutritionists who made me low calorie/low carb plans; I just became stressed out from those and ate even MORE. I went to an intuitive eating nutritionist who told me I know everything I need to know about nutrition and I need a mental health professional. I tried that - I did CBT for dieting and it made it even worse.
Every night I feel like bingeing - some nights I control myself and some I don’t. During the day my sugar suddenly drops and I become starving and want to eat everything in sight. I am eating normal, healthy balanced meals during the day, and I think I’m eating enough, so there is no physical reason for me to feel this way.
I feel out of control and desperate. I did surgery already and there’s nothing left for me to do. I’m still MINIMUM 65 pounds overweight. Probably more.
I feel gross - sluggish, ugly, tired, like a loser…
I tried everything.
When I eat intuitively and try not to think about my weight and just eat healthy - I gain weight. That’s what happened before my surgery…I got so so far when I tried not to think about weight all day….
But when I try to go on any sort of diet, it makes it even worse.
I tried intermittent fasting. I was too hungry and got got migraines while in the fasting window.
Please, please help me.

mashcsch

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 5:42 am

I joined OA 12 years ago, lost 85 pounds and I am still maintaining approximately an 80 lb weight loss all these years later. Followed the food plan (modified) while pregnant and nursing as well. I didn't believe anyone when they told me the cravings to eat disappear, but that's the truth!!!! I basically never struggle with food anymore. We follow a 12 step program of recovery which heals us from the compulsion to eat. This program saved my life!

sequoia

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 5:50 am

How’s your sleep?

amother

Rose

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 6:19 am

I would ask joy doctor about Ozempic. It has helped me a lot with sustainable weight loss.

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 7:53 am

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

I would ask joy doctor about Ozempic. It has helped me a lot with sustainable weight loss.

How is it sustainable if it only works while you take it? Do you take it forever?

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 8:30 am

I can’t take ozempic - due to certain health concerns I’m not a candidate. Also, my doctor told me the second you go off it the weight comes back.

I tried OA twice. Once I lost a bunch of weight but then I couldn’t stand it anymore and the weight all came back when I couldn’t stick to it. More recently, before my surgery, not only couldn’t I do the program, I ended up gaining weight.

I desperately want to be able to eat normally without weighing and measuring and being forced to bring different food to every event for the rest of my life.

And my sleep is horrible / that is a true point.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 8:39 am

Have you gone for a sleep study to see if you have sleep apnea? Using a cpap can help your body finally sleep and rest.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 8:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Op do you have the support
That’s what I love about my 12 step program
Someone that understands is there for you
If I feel like eating I pick up the phone.
12 step programs are WE programs. We do this together.
The commoderie out weighs the inconvenience of weighing & measuring my food
Also step work is important
1. We admitted we are powerless over FOOD. That our lives have become unmanageable.
You said yourself you feel out of control
You are begging to eat like a normal person
I know exactly how you feel
I’ve been there

Why don’t you just listen to some meetings
There are some great qualifications on YOUTUBE

Personally I’m in GREYSHEET and I’ve never been happier around the food and love the body I’m in now-
I went from 185 to 113 (weighed August1) in about a year. I’m 5’0

Now I can’t stop losing weight. Never thought that would be a struggle for me.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 9:11 am

Personally I am in favor of a more holistic solution for the OP than a diet plan. Definitely work on the CPAP angle so you can get sleep. Also work on some heart healthy behaviors like increasing your step count. Lastly I personally feel like I am not busy enough during the day and I use food as a crutch to make myself feel better. I am working on being busier and more productive to get away from that.

amother

RosePink

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 9:31 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Can you post links to You Tube clips that may help me get started. I am in a very similar boat to the OP...also had the sleeve done but put on lots of weight since then...

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 9:42 am

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

Can you post links to You Tube clips that may help me get started. I am in a very similar boat to the OP...also had the sleeve done but put on lots of weight since then...

https://m.youtube.com/results?.....ymous
These are qualifications of their experience strength and hope
Listen until you hear your story

Also get more info on
https://www.greysheet.org/meetings

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 9:42 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Can you please post more info about your group? Where located, contact info etc.. ty

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 9:46 am

amother [ Daffodil ] wrote:

Can you please post more info about your group? Where located, contact info etc.. ty

I live OOT so I just listen on the phone meetings or sometimes zoom meetings
On meetings you can get a sponsor
Your sponsor will give you the food plan
A sponsor is someone in program for more than 90days. There are ppl with decades of back to back abstinence. Personally I know 2 ppl with over 30 yrs

Go on GREYSHEET.org

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:36 pm

Thank you all for your support!

Is there any way anyone has done this without strict abstention kind of diets? Just a balanced diet?
I know I need low carb. I’m so sensitive to carbs. But no carbs is so hard.
I’ve gone to so many OA classes.
I get so stressed from them. It feels so overwhelming. I can’t stand measuring and weighing.
Also, I am so so so so busy that the idea of having to go out at night to meetings was nearly impossible and overwhelming.
To the poster that said she isn’t busy enough so she eats…
I am so busy (have crazy amount of work, never-ending…) and yet I still find time to keep overeating at night.

amother

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 12:37 pm

Before my surgery I did a sleep study to check for apnea and they said I don’t have.
This was about 3 years ago.
Any reason not to trust that?

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Meetings are on phone (you can multitask while you listen) or zoom (some allow camaras to be off)
For me the program gives me the serenity I need around food.
I don’t have that internal talk about the food/ weight (the ity bity chatter commitee) that was before.
This doesn’t mean life is all rainbows and unicorns.
But I don’t have that negative self talk

Plus as an added bonus
I love my food
I love my body and size
This is my way of self care so that I can be healthy for my family

amother

Slategray

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 1:42 pm

You mentioned that you feel sluggish. I don’t want to get bashed but I have PCOS and when I am not managing it then I feel sluggish because my blood sugar is going up and down and my hormones are all out of whack. I personally go on birth control combination pills to regulate my PCOS and it helps with the sluggish feeling.

momomany

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:41 pm

Im another Greysheeter. 17 years. 90 lbs. It is far easier to weigh and measure than to be obese. I NEVER again want to live the hell that my life was when I was obese and binging and craving and feeling sick and hating myself for self inflicting the misery. Being a part of the group (and it costs zero) and working the steps is integral to my recovery. I personally love the live and on camera zoom meetings best (see greysheet.org). And the miracle did happen for me. The cravings are gone gone gone. It is easy to eat my delicious large portions of food guilt free.

momomany

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 2:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I .

I desperately want to be able to eat normally without weighing and measuring and being forced to bring different food to every event for the rest of my life.

sending you hugs op, but you might need to accept (as I have) that I am wired differently and will never be able to eat normally like other people. My brother has celiac disease and in his way can never eat normally like other people. Neither can granddaughter who is allergic to nuts or my daughterinlaw who is lactose intolerant. What is normal anyway? I hope that you will find a way to eat that enables you to have a "normal" happy, serene, healthy, fulfilling and productive life. You don't deserve to suffer in the body and lifestyle you describe

Chana Miriam S

Thu, Aug 11 2022, 3:13 pm

You should speak to your doctor or to a dietitian who specializes in this. None of us are qualified to advise you.

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