Lab grown Diamond for Kallah?

amother

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:54 am

DS is dating seriously so I’ve been looking at diamonds.

Do people in the Yeshivish Lakewood community use lab grown diamonds for engagement rings?

Would you ask the kallah if she’d mind? Would you offer her a choice of, say a 1 Ct mined Diamond or a 1.75 Ct lab Diamond?

Please, please do not turn this into a discussion about why kallahs get diamonds and why parents of the chosson buy them, and whether everyone who wears an engagement ring pays full tuition (I do, by the way, but still would like to save money!), the ethical and environmental concerns of mined diamonds, and, of course: Why should I care about what everyone else buys!!!!! Thank you!

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 8:58 am

My yeshivish DD has said straight out she'd be fine with a lab-grown diamond (she isn't currently seriously dating, though Wink

).

I think you could ask the girl but I wouldn't say it as a choice of this or that. Just, how would you feel about a lab-grown diamond? If he's comfortable, your son could ask her.

amother

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:10 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

My yeshivish DD has said straight out she'd be fine with a lab-grown diamond (she isn't currently seriously dating, though Wink

).

I think you could ask the girl but I wouldn't say it as a choice of this or that. Just, how would you feel about a lab-grown diamond? If he's comfortable, your son could ask her.

Thank you! Obviously, if the shidduch works out, I’d want to buy it asap, and I only want DS to ask her that the day they get engaged, if it’s socially acceptable in our circles! Otherwise it’s an awkward way to start a relationship!

theoneandonly

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:24 am

IDK what everyone else does, but I think a choice of a mined diamond or a larger lab diamond is fair.

amother

Electricblue

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:33 am

I am chassidish and my dad is a diamond dealer, when I got married 10 years ago my dad offered me a smaller clear diamond or a larger laser treated diamond (according to my in laws budget) I chose the treated one because to the eye it looks the same and I could get a larger one for the price.
I think it's very much personal matter because I have some friends that are ok with cubic zirconia and some friends that want nothing but a prepare diamond

srbmom

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 9:52 am

I think absolutely offer it.
I have a teeny tiny diamond because DH paid for it himself and that was all he could afford
I would have happily chosen a lab grown diamond that was much larger
As it is I have no other real jewelry because it's not something I find worth spending money on - I so don't get hung up on these things. Each girl is different and I don't think there's any harm in asking

amother

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:07 am

cuffs wrote:

Many many people are buying the lab grown diamonds now. No need to feel bad about it.

Is it something that the kallah should be asked about? Told about?

(I’m married over twenty years and would’ve chosen a larger lab diamond myself!)

amother

Diamond

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:11 am

I would ask, along with does she want a round, cushion cut, pear, or oval. Does she want a solitary, halo, or side stones. Yellow or white gold.

She is the one who will wear it forever. She should be able to get what she likes. (Rather then the uniform-unless she wants the uniform)

DH and I went to 47th street. Tried on a bunch of rings and I told him that I wanted yellow, side stones, pear shape… (ok it was the 90’s and I still love my ring and I love that it is not the same as everyone’s)

watergirl

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:16 am

amother OP wrote:

Is it something that the kallah should be asked about? Told about?

(I’m married over twenty years and would’ve chosen a larger lab diamond myself!)

100% on both. Ask her which she would prefer. Never give a lab diamond and let her make her own assumptions about it.

srbmom

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:25 am

Quote:

I didn't pick out my diamond and setting until we were engaged and didn't get the finished ring right away. It's normal to get a bracelet at the engagement so I don't think the kallah feels like she needs the ring immediately. Much better to let her pick everything out and have to wait a little bit

amother

Winterberry

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:27 am

My relative is in the diamond field (Williamsburg chassidish), working out of 47th Street in Manhattan. Many people come to him for help sourcing engagement ring diamonds. He says that about 75% are now going for lab grown diamonds, but are not saving much as they are going for bigger stones.

These people are not telling their Kallahs that the stone is lab grown or giving them a choice. Kallahs are happy that their diamond is bigger.

Chayalle

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:28 am

srbmom wrote:

Quote:

Same. I got bracelet at my engagement, and the ring about two weeks later (I chose the setting).

ra_mom

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:41 am

[b]amother OP wrote:

Would you offer her a choice of, say a 1 Ct mined Diamond or a 1.75 Ct lab Diamond?

I would offer this choice. This way she doesn't feel like she doesn't have the choice- and she can still choose a mined diamond in a standard size, if that's what she wants.

Mommy1:)

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 10:44 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

don't do this. marriage should have a foundation of honesty trust dialogue and respect.

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 11:27 am

I have no idea what kind of diamond I have. I got my ring a few weeks after the vort because they waited for me to choose the setting. I think that's typical. So it's not a rush to figure this out as soon as they're engaged.

chanatron1000

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 11:35 am

Lab diamonds are real diamonds. If the diamond's origin is not mentioned, there's no reason to assume which, and it's not dishonest not to mention it (though it is dishonest to deliberately keep it secret).

amother

Leaf

Tue, Sep 13 2022, 12:13 pm

If you give her a choice then give her a choice of settings, shape as well. I think it makes it less awkward.