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How many nights can my child go to bed hungry?
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newmom1987




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 9:30 am
Many of you are too soft. Kids want boundaries. You are the parent. You make the rules. They’ll thank you later
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gamanit




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 10:19 am
I was actually surprised when my pediatrician recommended this when nothing was working for my picky eater. She kept on eating cereal and milk instead of the supper I prepared. It was going on for a while. He said to have supper available and that's it. No alternatives. She's eating breakfast, lunch, and snack every day. She's not going to starve by missing supper. It's ok. Once I started doing this she actually started eating it more often. We still have times when she'll be upset because what I'm serving isn't on her "approved" list but there's nothing wrong with having one supper- take it or leave it. The kids will be just fine.
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amother




Hibiscus
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 10:36 am
I am absolutely horrified with withholding supper until they try new foods...I have picky extreme eaters, (I was one myself who only ate bread and cheese and brought plain bread to school (no school lunches). I basically eat everything these days...).
It's a horrific way to try to control ur kids...yes its CONTROL! Just like adults have their own taste for things (u can't get me to eat raw sushi for my life no matter how much u bribe me). It is cruel to force someone to starve until they try a new food...
Respect your child. My picky eaters now eat salmon, all kinds of fruit and veggies, meats, veggie soups etc...I never ever forced someone to eat a food they don't like...they can have grill cheese, etc...it becomes a non issue and they eventually grow up and try everything u make and serve...and if they don't, it is their choice...just like you, the mom, can choose what food to put in ur mouth every day based on what u like and dislike.
The torah says "al team veraiach ain't lehisvakayach! (Don't argue over taste and smell). Because Hashem created every person with their own unique experience of taste and smell.
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amother




Mocha
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:10 am
My 14 year old is like this but he says "it's because you're a bad cook, if you were a better cook I would eat the food". So now I am insecure: maybe he is right???
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gamanit




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:32 am
amother Hibiscus wrote:
I am absolutely horrified with withholding supper until they try new foods...I have picky extreme eaters, (I was one myself who only ate bread and cheese and brought plain bread to school (no school lunches). I basically eat everything these days...).
It's a horrific way to try to control ur kids...yes its CONTROL! Just like adults have their own taste for things (u can't get me to eat raw sushi for my life no matter how much u bribe me). It is cruel to force someone to starve until they try a new food...
Respect your child. My picky eaters now eat salmon, all kinds of fruit and veggies, meats, veggie soups etc...I never ever forced someone to eat a food they don't like...they can have grill cheese, etc...it becomes a non issue and they eventually grow up and try everything u make and serve...and if they don't, it is their choice...just like you, the mom, can choose what food to put in ur mouth every day based on what u like and dislike.
The torah says "al team veraiach ain't lehisvakayach! (Don't argue over taste and smell). Because Hashem created every person with their own unique experience of taste and smell.


They're eating breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, and snack when they come home. They're not starving. If they don't want to eat the supper that's available, they'll be fine until breakfast. They don't need that food.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:38 am
amother OP wrote:
Bread.
I refuse to let them eat bread for breakfast, lunch, and supper. Dh’s family is this way and they still didn’t learn to eat anything else. I’m done with it.
Oh, and I need to toast the bread and smear on the butter for them. I’m not interested in doing even that, and they can’t do it in their own.


Just want to mention that picky eating is genetic (according to an article I once read I forget where and also what I’ve seen in life corroborates that claim).
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amother




Calendula
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:40 am
amother Mocha wrote:
My 14 year old is like this but he says "it's because you're a bad cook, if you were a better cook I would eat the food". So now I am insecure: maybe he is right???
He needs to cook his own meals then. Show you how it’s done. I’m sure all his experience will make his meals turn out way better than yours /s
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amother




Phlox
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:44 am
amother Aqua wrote:
Just want to mention that picky eating is genetic (according to an article I once read I forget where and also what I’ve seen in life corroborates that claim).

I would say a combination of genetic and learned behavior.
I personally am a picky eater so I "tolerate " much more my kids being picky.
There's a difference between picky eaters and kids that eat 3 or 4 ingredients and that's it!
If parents offer 3 or 4 options and kids decide that they don't like any, it's a problem.
Obviously mothers shoukd try to find suppers that kids will eat at least one of the choices.
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:45 am
I don't get all those suggesting yogurt if they don't eat supper.
My kids would be thrilled to and would happily eat yogurt every single night for supper (as well as lunch and breakfast.)
Its LOADED with sugar, and in fact, has the same nutritional content as ice cream
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amother




Aquamarine
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 11:46 am
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
I don't get all those suggesting yogurt if they don't eat supper.
My kids would be thrilled to and would happily eat yogurt every single night for supper (as well as lunch and breakfast.)
Its LOADED with sugar, and in fact, has the same nutritional content as ice cream
Same here.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:27 pm
I have a totally different take on this as an adult who now will try almost any food but as a kid ate like 5 things. I was a horrible eater and very skinny and it was not easy for my mother. I think she used DOR without realizing it was even a thing. It was just intuitive to her.

Honestly. I did not have an easy childhood. I struggled a lot with ADHD, some learning issues and socially my life wasn't so easy. I think that I used food as a means of having some control over my life because as an 8 year old what else was there. As my life got a lot better in high school and college I became a much more adventurous eater. I really feel like there is a connection between the two. This may resonate or not.
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amother




Whitewash
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:29 pm
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
I don't get all those suggesting yogurt if they don't eat supper.
My kids would be thrilled to and would happily eat yogurt every single night for supper (as well as lunch and breakfast.)
Its LOADED with sugar, and in fact, has the same nutritional content as ice cream

You’ll be horrified to know that my son lives on chocolate leben and sliced cheese during the week.
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Shmoozinator




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:31 pm
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
I don't get all those suggesting yogurt if they don't eat supper.
My kids would be thrilled to and would happily eat yogurt every single night for supper (as well as lunch and breakfast.)
Its LOADED with sugar, and in fact, has the same nutritional content as ice cream


We generally only buy plain yogurt and doctor it up ourselves 🤷🏻‍♀️
Whatever honey we add will still be significantly less sugar than what companies add. Even with granola, which can be homemade and customized to be more nutritious. Add some fruit and chopped nuts, yum!
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 12:53 pm
You shouldn't send your kid to bed hungry. Make the toast or teach him how to make it. I'm a picky eater. Forcing me to eat foods didn't make me like then. Dh is a picky eater. My kids are picky eaters. That's life. You can't force people to like foods. You can encourage but not force. I make one dinner. Whoever doesn't like it eats something else like toast, yogurt, rice cakes etc...it's not really a big deal. I think you are making this more of a bigger deal than it is. You can't force your kids to like foods because it's inconvenient for you.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 1:58 pm
Can I just reiterate?
A- MY KID DOES NOT LIKE YOGURT, CEREAL, OR GRILL CHEESE!
B- WHATEVER food he likes now is because he was FORCED to eat it when he was 2 or 3 yrs old and now he LOVES it
C- I’m not forcing anybody to EAT what I make, but to
TASTE!

I don’t like sushi either, but I would taste 1 bite and then have whatever I like rather than eat nothing all night long...

I really didn’t start this thread to ask if you agree or disagree with my method. I’m just curious, for those that agree with me, how many days I should try this for. In 9 days of trying I only had one or two nights that a kids went to bed hungry. How long should I make it last before giving up?
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Lovable




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 2:03 pm
No child should ever go to bed hungry
No reason is good enough
Thats all I can say
Can't Believe It
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amother




Mintcream
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 2:20 pm
amother OP wrote:
Can I just reiterate?
A- MY KID DOES NOT LIKE YOGURT, CEREAL, OR GRILL CHEESE!
B- WHATEVER food he likes now is because he was FORCED to eat it when he was 2 or 3 yrs old and now he LOVES it
C- I’m not forcing anybody to EAT what I make, but to
TASTE!

I don’t like sushi either, but I would taste 1 bite and then have whatever I like rather than eat nothing all night long...

I really didn’t start this thread to ask if you agree or disagree with my method. I’m just curious, for those that agree with me, how many days I should try this for. In 9 days of trying I only had one or two nights that a kids went to bed hungry. How long should I make it last before giving up?


Keep going. As another poster said, if you know that your children are eating breakfast, lunch and snacks, they do not NEED dinner. If they were really hungry they would try some other foods. As I mentioned earlier, they may not really be hungry because they were given too many snacks in school. etc. I would look into exactly what they are eating on a daily basis. Speak to the teachers to find out what your children ate in school, etc. Maybe they are eating a friend's lunch too.
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amother




NeonYellow
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 2:31 pm
amother OP wrote:
Can I just reiterate?
A- MY KID DOES NOT LIKE YOGURT, CEREAL, OR GRILL CHEESE!
B- WHATEVER food he likes now is because he was FORCED to eat it when he was 2 or 3 yrs old and now he LOVES it
C- I’m not forcing anybody to EAT what I make, but to
TASTE!

I don’t like sushi either, but I would taste 1 bite and then have whatever I like rather than eat nothing all night long...

I really didn’t start this thread to ask if you agree or disagree with my method. I’m just curious, for those that agree with me, how many days I should try this for. In 9 days of trying I only had one or two nights that a kids went to bed hungry. How long should I make it last before giving up?

Just keep doing it. They are testing to see if you will break. I bet a few times you made a rule and kept it for a week or two, but saw that it wasn't "working" so you gave up. Tell them you know they are testing you and you mean it when you say they need to taste it, just one bite. And remind them how last time you did this they ended up loving the foods you made them try. Just rinse and repeat. Just one bite and you can have your bread. Take one bite and you can have a sticker AND your bread. When you get 10 stickers (for tasting 10 new foods) you can choose a (dollar store) toy.
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amother




Peach
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 3:23 pm
Lovable wrote:
No child should ever go to bed hungry
No reason is good enough
Thats all I can say
Can't Believe It


I'm just curious.

Let's say you went to a wedding and didn't eat anything. Maybe you weren't hungry, or the food didn't appeal to you.

And your husband says to you NO WAY ARE YOU GOING TO BED HUNGRY AND WE ARE NOT LEAVING THIS WEDDING UNTIL YOU AT LEAST TASTE SOMETHINHG.

How would that feel to you?

If a child is offered food and has food available to him that he CHOOSES not to eat, you are not starving the kid or putting him to bed hungry.

A hungry child will eat. Maybe not everything or as much as you think they should eat, but they will eat.
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erm




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Sep 21 2022, 3:44 pm
amother OP wrote:
They would eat 1 or 2 more foods but they don’t like the same foods. On a “good” night I would need to make at least 2 dinners.
One would eat fish sticks, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. The other one would eat potatoes if I bake or cook it a certain way, but the other one wouldn’t touch it. Ordering food, eating out, going to the pizza shop, nothing works. One of them or both of them will always come out hungry.


How is fish sticks and potatoes 2 dinners? They are a main and side dish
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