So exhausted from all this cooking.

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 10:21 am

BH We're going to to shul for some meals the last days (as that's a thing here). When I get to this point, if I don't have enough leftovers (which I do right now because I cooked a ton for Shabbos), I keep it pretty basic. Protein, challah, salad....sometimes I do just bagels and lox, etc. Everyone has already put on the Tishrei 10 (or more), so tbh, I don't think anyone is going to be famished. But yes, I'm very done too. I try to get myself to the point of not feeling total resentment by figuring out how to simplify any of the meal operations up front or at least before the malaise turns into hate and discontent.

amother

Nemesia

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 10:32 am

Lol I’m at a program and so done as well and ready to go home. The rush to bathe everyone on erev and dress everyone for meals and shlep the stroller down flights of stairs a couple times a day. Kids are all over the place eating candy all day not having the food they like and acting crazy. We’re constantly surrounded by people. It was nice til now and I’m glad we came but the thought of two more days of YT…

amother

Taupe

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 10:44 am

amother Quince wrote:

Prepping the cooked food takes very very little time...serving doesnt bother me at all (family helps to clear between courses, I just bring the food out and that takes a few minutes), and my family does all the cleanup together.
Even with tending to the younger kids BH ive already gone through 3 novels from the library, read a million books to my youngest, played board games etc.

Im not saying this to brag ch"v-im saying it to try to convince more people to cook before yomtov, however hard that is. I really think most of what tips women over the edge on yomtov is spending time cooking. You would be surprised how much time it frees up...yom tov is a chag! V'samachta bichagecha, its important!

Re: the bolded - you are indeed bragging. Obviously people know if you cook before Yom Tov you have more time. This post wasn’t for people who have done that, it was for those who haven’t and could empathize with OP or make new workable suggestions. Going back to two weeks ago isn’t feasible.

mushkamothers

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 10:56 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

I don't think its solely the cooking that tips women over the edge. It's the semblance of no normalcy for four weeks straight. It's as if your life is suddenly put on hold and your entire day just revolves the extra work that YT creates again and again and again. YT is nice and beautiful when it's a short interlude. But when it's a four week running mode, the continuous work-demands sucks the life and beauty out of it.

It's sad. What should be a beautiful time for us, has turned into a 'lets just get past this time period, so we can resume our lives' mode. I used to think that perhaps it's only a certain stage of women, the ones dealing with young kids and married children who think this way. But I'm hearing this now from all ages of women - from the newlyweds to the elderly. We must be doing something wrong, maybe we've set the standards too high. Maybe we're asking too much from ourselves. I don't know what it is - but this isn't a chag for most of us women.

I dont have high standards at all. I have 3 kids under 5 and a regular shabbos meal is Challah, baba and an Israeli salad. I basically stuck to that model.

I cooked basic basic, I bought all dessert, I hosted two big meals (RH and one day sukkos) which I enjoyed doing, and both times I had the cleaning lady stay for the full day- something I've never done.

My kids are on a relatively good schedule, they all go to bed same usual time, and my husband is super hands on and helpful.

I've even been doing laundry as regular because my kids have minimalistic wardrobes.

I've been doing okay until now but these last days are going to tip me over the edge.

At a certain point it's just too much.

Rubies

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 11:07 am

mushkamothers wrote:

Same.
Very basic, everyone was relatively well-behaved, had cleaning help and still I JUST WANT EVERYONE OUT OF MY HAIR for a minute.

I want to drink a coffee in peace.

CPenzias

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 11:30 am

amother Stone wrote:

Um, you are supposed to like it. V’samachta b’chagecha…

I'm v'samachta vichagecha after candle lighting. That doesn't mean I have to enjoy the planning, shopping and cooking.
In addition, I'm sure when we got the torah women weren't working full time like we do nowadays. It makes a HUGE difference! I am so grateful that erev chag fell out on Sunday. Pesach isn't that way. Boo

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Oct 16 2022, 11:47 am

amother Quince wrote:

Prepping the cooked food takes very very little time...serving doesnt bother me at all (family helps to clear between courses, I just bring the food out and that takes a few minutes), and my family does all the cleanup together.
Even with tending to the younger kids BH ive already gone through 3 novels from the library, read a million books to my youngest, played board games etc.

Im not saying this to brag ch"v-im saying it to try to convince more people to cook before yomtov, however hard that is. I really think most of what tips women over the edge on yomtov is spending time cooking. You would be surprised how much time it frees up...yom tov is a chag! V'samachta bichagecha, its important!

I don't have a freezer that I can store meal prep in. I don't have space for a freezer.