SAHM, what do you do while your kids play?

lucky14

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 8:56 pm

amother Linen wrote:

I got stuck where the OP says her chores are dONE. I always have things around the house waiting for me to get to them.
OP, Are you looking for us to suggest another hobby?

Omg me too!

OP I’m so jealous of you that it’s so calm and relaxed at your house (or so it sounds).

I would get some books or magazines and read. Or crossword puzzles. Or some kind of art project if you are into that.

amother

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 8:56 pm

Pooh wrote:

Depends what you do on your phone. I erased all waste of time apps BH and now if I’m on it I’m reading an ebook, paying bills, sending important emails, preparing therapy books for my sn dc, research or getting support about said kid’s needs, shopping for the kids or house stuff, listening to a shiur/podcast/zoom or if none of those need my attention, then Imamother or between carpools or tasty Wink

so I don’t feel guilty because they’re all productive

Also, don’t u have the dinner dishes to wash? Or clutter that the kids bring in to put away? I always feel so annoyed that I clean all day and within the first 10 min of them getting home the house is upside down, I would use the quiet play time to put it back together or guide the kids to do it.

There’s always tehilim too. Imagine how fast u could finish a Sefer if every time they play u say a few prakim

I usually check my emails, follow up on the news, imamother, or shop.

For those asking if my kids are always playing so beautifully without needing me, let me make this clear, my kids are not totally independent and can live their lives without me. There are plenty of days when they will just stick to me and chat (or nag!), but usually there’s a peaceful hour in my house after all the kids ate supper, before bedtime.

Also, my kids are ages 6 and 8, which makes a big difference.

I guess it’s just my guilty conscience that makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.

amother

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 8:59 pm

lucky14 wrote:

Please don’t be jealous! I had two toddlers some years ago, it wasn’t boring at all! And again, I have overwhelming days, too! Bh, they’re currently in an easy stage and I’m grateful for that.

amother

Feverfew

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 9:05 pm

I can so relate! I am looking for ways to entertain myself without technology! Screen time does not bring me the same satisfaction as a good book... would love more ideas too =) ... I often have free time at night too and I am not in the mood of always cleaning (I dont need everything to be perfect every moment)

amother

Burntblack

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 9:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t know how to do either of them Can't Believe It

I just don’t want my kids to grow up and say their mother was always on her phone. And for the people who don’t like smartphones to bring me as an example.

Where do you live? Do you have any needlepoint stores near you? They usually teach you. I agree with you...I don't want my kids to see me on my phone so much which is why I started doing other stuff. And my kids actually love to sit next to me on the couch and watch. Even though I was doing nothing wrong being on my phone I felt it was better for them to see me doing something else.

amother

Starflower

Tue, Nov 15 2022, 9:44 pm

I can relate OP. I started intentionally leaving housework for when the kids are home and taking my screen time when they’re out just so they don’t see me on the phone/iPad. so much. So I fold laundry, iron, wash dishes, do some light cleaning and organizing. I also will sometimes bake, work on a jigsaw puzzle, read magazines, prep for the next morning and prep lunches. I also sometimes sneak some screen time in my room but I really try not to. Sudoku if you’re into that.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 12:05 am

Can't relate one bit.
But I'd never keep my baby in a swing or stroller unless I had something super important to do. You can play with and interact with your baby even if your older kids don't need you. My school age kids always want me to play with them. BH I love that! And I'm amazed that you get all the chores done with a baby at home. I don't have a baby and the laundry is always piling up or some other chore needs to be done.

DustyDiamonds

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 8:21 am

Your 8 year old doesn’t need help with homework? And doesn’t need to be reminded a billion times to do homework? And help finding the pencil he or she dropped for the thousandth time?

OP I love your attitude! You don’t look at life like an endless to do list, as many of us do!

I would organize my closets and cabinets, but yours are probably already organized!

amother

Burntblack

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 10:10 am

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

It's healthy for babies and children to self entertain a bit. There is nothing wrong with keeping a baby in a swing or stroller at times.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t know but I feel guilty. Like I should be in the playroom with them or something. And I shouldn’t be on my phone. Confused

I relate and feel the same
I try sometimes with whatever tehillim I can say, or a magazine to read.....or just some healthy breathing time...as long as it lasts.
Let's keep being mischezek one another!

tichellady

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 11:44 am

amother Burntblack wrote:

It's healthy for babies and children to self entertain a bit. There is nothing wrong with keeping a baby in a swing or stroller at times.

self entertainment is great. being in a container is not. put the baby on the floor on a mat and then let her play

metacognizant

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 12:14 pm

It sounds like you are wondering what you “should” do during down time, when your children don’t need you and you don’t need to be productive. Good for you for having down time! Everyone needs and deserves it, especially moms. And if your kids are self directed and not turning to you for care every second that’s a good thing! Hovering will only make them less independant. (Playing with them if you truly want to is great, but definitely don’t do it out of a sense of obligation.)

I think it’s true that kids will pick up on how you use your downtime and that will be one of their models for what grown ups “do.” And whatever you do with your time is what they will do with their time eventually. So yeah, if you don’t want to see them on their phones when they are big, don’t have them see you on your phone TOO much.

On my part I try to read a book in front of my kids when I’m relaxing. Even if I only read a page or two a day, I hope that shows them reading books is valuable. Or make a phone call. (Not screen time— remember phone calls?) Or even use my laptop — for some reason I find computers much less annoying than phones, and with my computer I’m more likely to actually do something productive like online shopping or household bookkeeping.

You are a great mom!

amother

Midnight

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 2:01 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

It's healthy for babies and children to self entertain a bit. There is nothing wrong with keeping a baby in a swing or stroller at times.

Na. It’s not good for them to sit in those. You can have them self entertain on an activity mat. That’s good for them. It’s much better for them to be held or connected with, especially at 3 months.

amother

Burntblack

Wed, Nov 16 2022, 2:06 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

You do you. Sitting in them in moderation is ok. But if you want to constantly hold your children and entertain them go ahead. No shame in a mom doing something different than you.