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Why does a Rebbe deserve something personal, but not a Morah
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 10:43 pm
I received an email from my daughter's school collecting money to give to the morahs and teachers as chanukah gelt. Now, there is a sister school (lol brother school) for the boys, and all the parents from both schools got the email. In it, it said something to the effect of "as in past years, the rebbeim are not included, as they warrant something more personal"

EXCUSE ME??? Why do the rebbeim deserve something more personal, but the morahs and teachers not?? This attitude REALLY upsets me.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 10:47 pm
So give something personal to the morahs.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 10:54 pm
amother Royalblue wrote:
So give something personal to the morahs.


I understand that, I'll give whatever I want. I'm questioning the attitude.
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Ema of 5




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 10:56 pm
Maybe that’s code for “rebbi needs more money”
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:03 pm
Ema of 5 wrote:
Maybe that’s code for “rebbi needs more money”


Believe me, the teachers do too! Also, I'm not sure that's what they're saying. Their collecting money, anyone can give whatever amount they want. So if someone wants to give more to a Rebbe, they can! I'm thinking they mean to get the rebbeim something better? Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but the way it's presented is upsetting.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:03 pm
What does that even mean?
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m-u-a-mama




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:06 pm
Unless I'm misunderstanding....
Teachers get cash and rebbeim get like personalized challah cover or whatever?
I would way rather cash
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:13 pm
Possible DLKZ:

They know that not everyone will remember to give Chanukah gelt to the teachers, but they will probably give to the Rebbes. To prevent the teachers from being overlooked, they instituted a system which ensures more parents pay. They tried to do something uniform in the past, but the system broke down because people wanted to write personal letters to the Rebbe along with the gelt, so they're working with what they have.

Possible?
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amother




Strawberry
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:18 pm
Rabbaim put in way more hours than Morah's and teachers do, and often have a closer or more personal relationship with their students. They do deserve more than teachers.
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amother




DarkPurple
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:24 pm
I send to this school (and was a student here too)

Used to be that the rabbiem were part of the group gift. While you could gove more most/many gave the recommended amount which was the same for all and amounted to approx $5-7 from each parent to the rebbe. Not so much.

New principal moved to town. He didnt like this cause the rabbiem werent coming away with much. So one or two years after he started they changed it and ask to give the rabbiem something "personal". Namely give money personally and not as part of a group gift. Its a little nebach to give $5-10 by yourself so parent have to give more if they give. Thats all.

(Now the question is how many dont give on chanuka since they cant afford to give more then $5-10... But I do think that overall at the end of the day they get more this way)
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srbmom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 21 2022, 11:27 pm
My son's rebbe is in school for davening at 7:30 and is finished teaching at 2:30
My daughter's Morah is in the classroom from 8:30 to 11
How can you compare the two?
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amother




Cognac
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 12:07 am
My kids are in the same school as yours, OP. I also thought it was very weird!!
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 12:27 am
that is bizarre
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amother




Cerise
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 1:06 am
ושחד לא תקח כי השחד יעור פקחים ויסלף דברי צדיקים

Money paid directly from a parent to a teacher is bribery. It's impossible for a rebbe to be unaffected by a cash gift. This culture of individual gift giving by parents is inappropriate.

If the argument is that rebbeim don't earn enough, then the school ought to raise tuition by the amount of the expected gift
(bribe) and pay them more. (And the morahs too.) But don't be like a restaurant that underpays its wait staff and makes them depend on tips to earn a living wage. The system is demeaning to everyone involved.

Chipping in for a group gift is a show of appreciation. Handing cash to your child's teacher is bribery.
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amother




Wine
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 8:14 am
I’m assuming I also send to those schools unless that same email was sent to multiple institutions. It’s always so frustrating because I never know what an appropriate amount to give is. Plus we are expected to give a check on purim to the rebbeim as well. I also never know what I’m suppose to do for the afternoon rebbeim who teach my son maybe 2-3 times a week. And there’s 3-4 of them this year!
And while people might think the $3-5 is cheap per Morah, it really adds up when you have multiple kids and each kid has 2-4 teachers and if they also require extra support staff at school.
I always like to send an end of the year note but the way they do this makes me feel like I need to send a mid year one as well and it’s just awkward.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 8:23 am
amother DarkPurple wrote:
I send to this school (and was a student here too)

Used to be that the rabbiem were part of the group gift. While you could gove more most/many gave the recommended amount which was the same for all and amounted to approx $5-7 from each parent to the rebbe. Not so much.

New principal moved to town. He didnt like this cause the rabbiem werent coming away with much. So one or two years after he started they changed it and ask to give the rabbiem something "personal". Namely give money personally and not as part of a group gift. Its a little nebach to give $5-10 by yourself so parent have to give more if they give. Thats all.

(Now the question is how many dont give on chanuka since they cant afford to give more then $5-10... But I do think that overall at the end of the day they get more this way)

Gross. Then also the teachers are not coming away with so much. And honestly, why should either? This whole thing with chanukah being a source of income for rebbes is very bothersome to me. As it is, the rebbes get paid a higher salary, they get a better tuition break, and depending on community there are other perks. A teacher puts in his or her time to prep every night, to come up with engaging lesson plans, deals with classroom management issues the rebbes never have to deal with, and have to shlep from school to school to earn a full time wage because yeshivas won't hire them full time.

Re: the bolded - yes it's nebach if all you can give is the $5-10. And yes that's how we all feel when we have to give the rebbes cash and can't afford more. And the rebbe who looks down on my $18 check is someone who I do not want to be my son's rebbe because I really question the values he is imparting on the kids. And there have been years when I can't give $18, so I give two chocolate bars tied with a ribbon and a very nice note and if the rebbe looks down on that too, shame on him. BH the rebbes in my sons yeshiva are not that type.
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amother




Grape
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 8:54 am
I send to a brother/sister school in Lakewood.

Both used to do group gifts. Several years ago the boys school started to not include the rabbeim. This was because many were giving in addition to the group gift and then other parents were left not knowing what to do. I know a few rebbeim and they said they are gifted more overall this way even if fewer parents give. So the school tried it out one year and then permanently switched to this way.
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amother




Brass
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:02 am
amother Cerise wrote:
ושחד לא תקח כי השחד יעור פקחים ויסלף דברי צדיקים

Money paid directly from a parent to a teacher is bribery. It's impossible for a rebbe to be unaffected by a cash gift. This culture of individual gift giving by parents is inappropriate.
.


I heard that you can give cuz it will help your child learn Torah better.
Don’t have a source for it.
I do know of someone that used to be a teacher and had a policy not to accept anything from parents during the year.
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amother




Forsythia
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:06 am
amother Strawberry wrote:
Rabbaim put in way more hours than Morah's and teachers do, and often have a closer or more personal relationship with their students. They do deserve more than teachers.


Wow, am I glad I dont send my children to such a school. Where my children go, the rabbanim and women teachers have similar relationships with their students. And have similar hours.
All teachers should be getting similar gifts. Or nothing at all.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 22 2022, 9:06 am
amother Brass wrote:
I heard that you can give cuz it will help your child learn Torah better.
Don’t have a source for it.
I do know of someone that used to be a teacher and had a policy not to accept anything from parents during the year.

If this is the truth, I don't want my kid to have that rebbe.
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