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amother
Yolk
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 Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:31 am
I mentioned this up thread. You can stay in a shelter as a stop gap if you really need. I know it sounds horrible but it's usually not. Most parents with kids get placed in hotel rooms. It's free. I worked with a woman who lived in a shelter with her husband for 6 months when she started a new job with us until she saved enough to get an apartment. You won't have the luxury of chosing where you will live in shelter housing, but it's a way to get your feet on the ground if nothing else.
But basically your only expense will be rent in NYC if you don't stay in a shelter so it's not really such an expensive market overall.
Say you move to a cheap area like Waterbury for ex, you can rent for $1000 maybe and get good health insurance but there's no tomchei shabbos, no free daily meals, no free shoes, a clothing gemach which you may or may not find things, no rental assistance, limited transportation so you will likely need Ubers, kosher items are more expensive- no kollel store or bingo, etc. Plus terrible public schools.
Not that ur considering the area, I just picked a very cheap frum are to compare to. In Brooklyn u can find a rental for 1500 maybe. You'll get the good health insurance plus everything else and wonderfully comprehensive and low cost transportation. And your kids could go to SN Jewish schools at possibly no cost to you. And there are a handful of schools that are willing to charge next to nothing in tuition if really needed. I think it would end up cheaper overall.
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Kiwi13
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:41 am
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Healthcare in NYC Medicaid, let’s say. How’s that. If I’m in Brooklyn or wherever is best for this stuff. And how much help can I realistically expect? Not just what’s out there, but what would actually likely happen.
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NechaMom
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:43 am
| amother Milk wrote: | There's ao many more opportunities for lower income families to make it and get out if poverty in big cities bc of all the nyc government programs and funding.
Rent is subsidized as well
Speak with ohel they can better help you housing, programs etc |
I second this.
Contacting Ohel would be a great place for you to start.
They will be very helpful.
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Sebastian
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:49 am
| Kiwi13 wrote: | | Healthcare in NYC Medicaid, let’s say. How’s that. If I’m in Brooklyn or wherever is best for this stuff. And how much help can I realistically expect? Not just what’s out there, but what would actually likely happen. |
Its excellent for routine medical care and hospitals. A little harder with specialists
You can probably get food, housing and utility assistance. Therapy and schooling for your kids etc
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Kiwi13
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:51 am
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How hard is it to get specialists? Neurology, endrocrinology, pulmonology, etc.
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mha3484
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 8:08 am
| Kiwi13 wrote: | I don’t know what I am anymore. For now assume MO. I’ve been through hell. I live in hell. Also currently in Cleveland but I don’t think it’s right. Need more ideas. What’s the cheapest house or apartment I could get in Chicago? Is south bend still recruiting? Do they have good medical care and disability services and special Ed?
I need to figure out my life from scratch. I’m in such shock and trauma I can’t even express it. It’s too horrible. |
Southbend wont have the medical care you need.
Chicago reach out to him https://www.facebook.com/roger.prop/ hes a frum guy with a bunch of buildings that are all Jewish tenants.
My friend just moved and her old apt which is 3 bed walking distance to a lot of places is $1750 If you can take a 2 bed and have 3 kids in one room you could find for less.
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amother
Mintcream
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 10:56 am
| amother Peru wrote: | | In nyc not hard at all, and everything is accessible by public transportation. If you ever need a doctor and you don’t know where to turn, you call chaim medical or refuah helpline, for free, and they guide you. |
This. NYC area has the greatest number of resources financial, mental health, medical, educational, and chessed.
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amother
Nasturtium
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 11:20 am
If I needed emotional and practical support, I'd never move somewhere where I didn't know anyone. Maybe that's just me, but it seems crazy to me.
Kiwi, it can take a while for you to meet and get comfortable with yiur neighbors if you'd move to Brooklyn , and in the meantime you'd have nowhere to go for shabbat, no one to call in a pinch if you need a babysitter, no one to vent to or schmooze with or have a cup of coffee with. No one to ask where the cheapest pizza is, or to borrow milk from when you run out.
I was raised by a single mom with a ton of support nearby and it was still hard. I can't imagine how my mom would have done it otherwise.
When she got a migraine, our neighbor boiled up a pot of macaroni and fed us supper.
Every shabbat morning she had coffee with neighbors. All of us kids played together while the moms chatted.
We had tons of invitations for shabbat and yom tov.
My brothers had men to sit with in shul.
I think you really need those kind of people in your life who will step up for you.
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Kiwi13
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Thu, Jan 12 2023, 2:04 pm
| amother Oldlace wrote: | | I know a lot of people are suggesting ny but I think you might want to consider staying put in Cleveland for the time being. It sounds like you have some kind of family support. You probably also know the community, the resources etc. You and your family just had a very trying and difficult start to the year. Perhaps its best to stay in a place where you are all somewhat familiar with it even if its not your ideal long term situation. What about finishing off the school year in Cleveland while you all settle down and adjust to your new reality. Once you are more settled it may be a less difficult transition to new york. Knowing no one in ny is a huge thing to consider. Also new communities often don't like people moving in that need such extensive help. Being that you are originally from cleveland I think that it will be easier to get help and get your kids into school. People probably know you and your parents and will likely be more inclined to help. You are not a random stranger. |
This is basically the bottom line I expected, yes. I’m in bad shape, but there were some good developments today. Hopefully being admitted to a hospital epilepsy unit in the next week or so in order to get meds straightened out properly. Also got connected with case management and some more referrals. A bunch of progress toward getting the kids into school. Only one out of three can go to a Jewish school but it’s okay. At least they’ll be in school. And it’s an excellent school district.
There’s a specific problem I’m trying to get away from, and once that’s settled I should be okay even if it’s hard sometimes. But right now it’s been feeling absolutely miserably impossible. I have ideas and I need to be built up. Not trashed to pieces and reminded how sick I am all the time. I don’t think I have to stay this sick forever. Only Hashem knows. Lots of people outlive horrible things. Maybe I can too.
It was my lifelong dream to escape the clutches of cleveland. But now I’m back and you know what, as of this afternoon I’m thinking it’s not so bad. It’s also waaaay different than when I lived here growing up. Not only that, but hello and thank you to my sister in law, if you’re reading this…. Now I have to be more careful what I say. ;-)
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