Ugh I feel so guilty- sleep training

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Daffodil

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:45 pm

Please I am begging someone to post a reliable source for why sleep training is so bad. "I feel like it's bad" is NOT ENOUGH reason to shame someone who is struggling. To tell another human being, at a difficult time in their life, that they should feel guilty! I hope you have a thousand doctors backing you up on that...

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

Bottle feeding- my milk never came in Sad

Baby started solids at 4 months due to doctors recommendation to ease colic
He refuses to take a paci from day one. Not sure about a blanky, he uses the same one but not sure of there is an attachment. He sleeps in his room, and my husband brings him to my bed by the third time he wakes up (around 5 and I either way get up at 6:30).

What happens the first two times he wakes up? Your baby is probably hungry and thirsty by 5. That’s his morning. For sure feed him. Your expectations are very high for a 7 month old. It’s very normal for them to wake up and drink a bit and go back to sleep.

amother

Blushpink

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:46 pm

OP, as you can see this is a topic that has been studied and can be discussed ad nauseam. You really need to make an educated decision before you put your baby through this if its something you decide to do.

amother

Daffodil

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:47 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

Doctors say it is safe once the child weighs enough. A little bit hungry sometimes is not the same as starving. Learning to deal with MILD discomfort at TIMES (I am not saying to starve your child) is part of growing up as a healthy human being.

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:48 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

Sleep training ( CIO, Ferber…) is cruel. Do your research. Your abandoning a poor vulnerable infant at the times that they need you their mother most. And many times they are cold, thirsty, sick, teething, have a wet diaper, hungry, scared and the mom is being neglectful by not dealing with the babies physical and emotional needs.

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:49 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

What your advocating is literally cruel. I’m sorry.

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:51 pm

amother Currant wrote:

Mazel tov! I’m sorry to hear you had a traumatic birth. That sounds so scary! Sleep train your baby! It’s totally fine. They don’t remember things from such a young age. We moved our baby out of our room and did Ferber method around 5 months. We should have moved him out around 2 months when he started sleeping through the night himself. The first week was so hard and my DH and I took turns crying and leaving our home but it was so worth it! Sleep training was about teaching our baby how to self sooth and put himself back to sleep. We all wake up multiple times throughout the night. My baby (and looks like yours too) needs to learn the tools to put himself back to sleep. We all need good sleep including your baby. It’s super important. He wants to sleep through the night. He just needs some guidance. Just like you’ll teach him how to use a spoon and a fork, teach him how to sleep and he will forever thank you!

Btw my baby LOVES me and DH to pieces! He can’t get enough of us even though we sleep trained him.

This is a super controversial topic here but wanted to share this perspective.

This is very misinformed. Your baby doesn’t need to learn how to self soothe at this age by abandonment. That’s not how it works at all. Do your research.

amother

Banana

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just curious; did u ever have such a birth? Or your comment is hypothetical?

Im not the original poster of you question. But I did have a 3-4 degree tear my first baby. Took months to recover and did exactly what the poster said. I coslept and nursed on demand until about 10 months when I decided to lightly train baby to sleep in own crib for a few hours until I was sleeping and would bring baby back to my bed in the middle of the night.

amother

Candycane

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:53 pm

Don’t go on I’m another for health info.. people’s advice is terrible. Babies should be sleeping through the night from 4-5 months. You don’t have to feed your baby every time he cries.
Your baby is probably so hard because he is sleep deprived!!!!! Get him a good night sleep, he’ll be a diff baby!!

amother

Lily

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:54 pm

CIO doesn’t mean baby sleeps through night. Baby May still need a few feeds esp at this age. It just means that you’ll put him down and not rock him to sleep etc and then leave, each time.

#BestBubby

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:56 pm

All the mothers who say sleep training us "cruel"

Do you send your babies to babysitters?

amother

Candycane

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:57 pm

If mom had a third degree tear, how is that trauma for the baby? Mom had a d&c, how is baby affected by that?

amother

Banana

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:57 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

That’s sounds like 1950s ****.
No babies don’t need to be dealing with slight hunger to learn what it’s like being a healthy adult. It’s a baby. It needs EVERYTHING! That mindset is like the mindset of “spoiling” a baby. Which is not a real thing because babies again need everything. Once they get to 2.5 age and they start trying to do little things on their own we can then start setting some slight boundaries and that’s just slight.

amother

Banana

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:58 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

If mom had a third degree tear, how is that trauma for the baby? Mom had a d&c, how is baby affected by that?

Well OP said they used forceps I think. That’s traumatic. Not all tears means it trauma for baby but when instruments and tools are used to pull baby out by the head. That’s traumatic.

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:59 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

All the mothers who say sleep training us "cruel"

Do you send your babies to babysitters?

amother

Banana

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:59 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

All the mothers who say sleep training us "cruel"

Do you send your babies to babysitters?

No. I don’t. BH I can work from home when I can and keep my babies with me.

amother

Blushpink

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 8:05 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

All the mothers who say sleep training us "cruel"

Do you send your babies to babysitters?

Bestbubby, I do like your posts often but what are you getting at here? Sending our children to daycare is the same as letting a newborn cry themselves to sleep every night?
Are you paying my bills?

amother

Candycane

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 8:08 pm

amother Banana wrote:

Well OP said they used forceps I think. That’s traumatic. Not all tears means it trauma for baby but when instruments and tools are used to pull baby out by the head. That’s traumatic.

Think no one is gonna have discomfort or pain in life? I mean, how cruel.. you are in your moms cozy warm body and then you are born… so open and cold..
and the bris……. I mean … you are cutting him with a cold instrument and making him bleed…

amother

Candycane

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 8:10 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

Bestbubby, I do like your posts often but what are you getting at here? Sending our children to daycare is the same as letting a newborn cry themselves to sleep every night?
Are you paying my bills?

Your kids come first… mothers have to sacrifice everything for their kids… if you can’t go to work… you’ll have to figure that out.. LOL

amother

Jade

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 8:11 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

You are being irrational. There's no use arguing with irrational.

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