Frustrated with my sons cheder

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Valerian

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:07 am

Op switching him cheder won’t solve your issue. Ask any parent in any jewish school, they tend to hand out a lot of sugar, it’s not chassidish dependent.
You need to get to the bottom of this. Maybe he’s tired or hungry when he gets home. My four year old use to need a nap. These days he gets home, eats something and plays happily for hours.

amother

Dimgray

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:08 am

It’s a long day for little kids. It’s likely not the school and just the long day getting to him. I found giving them healthy food when they get home and having a calm relaxing activity ( like coloring or sensory bin ) set up for them really helps. He needs help unwinding.

amother

Phlox

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:23 am

I can't with the nosh in my kids schools either. I wish things would change.

amother

Jean

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:31 am

I also keep my 4 year old home a lot.
I find they need it so much and young mother don’t realize it.
They need to sleep, relax, cozy with mom, etc.

amother

Apple

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:36 am

At the cheder for 4 year olds are they playing or is it mostly sitting and learning.

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:42 am

amother DarkCyan wrote:

Going to answer this very literally. My boys don't do this and they are in tzanz Monsey.

Why are you jumping to think this is the cheders issue? Why not specifically with your child in this environment? If you tried talking to them and they aren't being helpful then I can hear the resentment. Have you tried anything?

My son barely gets nosh in cheder and he comes home very calm every day bh.
I do not believe for a minute that a 4 year old comes home with a bag of nosh every day.
There was an Instagramer that publicly smeared chassidish cheder in Instagram a while back and claimed chassidish boys are wilder and more chutzpah than non chassidish boys, this OP seems similar to that.
Some kids come home hyper because they're hungry, tired, over stimulated. Not because they get a bag of nosh every day.

Highstrung

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:42 am

I find my daughter to sometimes be this way. She goes to a non Chasidish school. My boys went to Chasidish cheder and I’ve never had issues. This has nothing to do with Chasidish.
I think some kids are overstimulated in school and when they come home they don’t know what to do with themselves so they start acting wild ‘n crazy. I find that giving my full attention to the child for about an hour gives them time to wind down and re-regulate. If I don’t give the child my 100% attention (like if I’m making dinner or still on my computer working ) she acts like a looney bin the rest of the day.

Last edited by Highstrung on Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:07 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:43 am

amother Apple wrote:

At the cheder for 4 year olds are they playing or is it mostly sitting and learning.

Playing basically day. They learn through play and crafts/activities. Structured play. Some circle time as well.

amother

Jean

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:44 am

amother Apple wrote:

At the cheder for 4 year olds are they playing or is it mostly sitting and learning.

Lots of playing. But lots of structure too.
The kids need both.

Op, Maybe the teacher doesn’t control the class? Maybe they don’t have enough firmness instructor?

amother

Navy

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:48 am

amother OP wrote:

I am extremely frustrated and feel like there isnt anything I can do about this. Please tell me some other people on here have this problem. My 4 year old son is an absolute joy to be around *only when* he isn't in cheder for a few days, like over the weekend or yom tov.

On the days he goes to cheder he comes home wild as anything, with half a bag of nosh, can be violent with me and just plain rude. I don't know what it is. If your son doesn't do this, which cheder is he in because I want in.

While it might be the school, it is more likely the issue is your son and at 4 it is probably that he is not ready yet for the long structured school day. He let's out his frustration when he gets home.

I say this as someone Lakewood Yeshivish who has raised a large family. It's not necessarilythe school - though a good teacher and hanhala can make the problem better or worse. My child who had it the worst (actually a dd when she started primary) we ended up repeating ....once the pressures of the day were aligned with what she could handle the problem disappeared. She was reading already, but that was easier to deal with.

Someone suggested keeping your son home here and there. If this reason rings true, it will help him a lot.

amother

Caramel

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:49 am

Can it be the candy? on days when my son has candy, he comes home climbing the walls

amother

Freesia

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 8:59 am

Yeah I'm getting that […] vibes....

amother

Navy

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:05 am

amother Caramel wrote:

Can it be the candy? on days when my son has candy, he comes home climbing the walls

My kids are in Yeshivish schools, but I bet it's universal that the youngest class gets the upsherin boys and their peckalach....it seemed like my boys had one every other week! That was a bag of candy!

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:05 am

amother Moccasin wrote:

What a terrible way to paint all chassidish Chedarim with one brush stroke. You think kids in litvish or MO yeshivas don’t come home wild? My sons don’t come home this way; they come home happy, bubbly, and full of a love for torah and yiddishkeit. You can ask for advice on how to speak to the rebbe to figure out what’s wrong but to blame your son’s bad behavior on chassidish chedarim. Wow.

Are you feeding him healthy snacks when he gets home? Maybe he’s not used to the schedule and needs a nap? Way to blame others.

She said her son's Cheder. Not all chassidish chaderim.
What a way to invalidate an OP and be incredibly rude.

amother

Navy

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:06 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

She said her son's Cheder. Not all chassidish chaderim.
What a way to invalidate an OP and be incredibly rude.

Op edited her title

amother

Jean

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:07 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

She said her son's Cheder. Not all chassidish chaderim.
What a way to invalidate an OP and be incredibly rude.

Why the need to mention Chassidish, making it seem like it’s the standard. That’s pretty rude on OPs part and she should be called out on it.

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:08 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

She said her son's Cheder. Not all chassidish chaderim.
What a way to invalidate an OP and be incredibly rude.

She edited the title now.

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:10 am

amother Navy wrote:

My son's cheder does not allow the boys to eat the peklach in school. He brings them home closed in his briefcase. They only had 2 upsherins because they need to be 3 in November to start school.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:12 am

amother Jean wrote:

Why the need to mention Chassidish, making it seem like it’s the standard. That’s pretty rude on OPs part and she should be called out on it.

The fact that she wrote Cheder = chassidish. No one else calls it Cheder. So there's really no difference.

amother

Mint

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 9:14 am

Op some of your posts were not anonymous you might want to edit to change it to anonymous.

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