4 year old dc diagnosed with hf autism and ADHD. Now what?

amother

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 3:00 pm

I'm looking for guidance on how to deal with this. I expected the ADHD for a while but not the autism. Can anyone share their journey with me and what they've learned? Which methods did you find most helpful?

amother

Black

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 3:41 pm

Unfortunately, I have no experience to share, but as a mom of a 4 year old whose teacher recommended I get my son tested, I'm curious what your child is like if you're up for sharing.

From what I understand, there are lots of therapies out there that are very helpful, and the earlier they are started, the more successful they can be.

May Hashem help guide you and bless you with lots of nachas from your sweet child.

amother

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 6:59 pm

amother Black wrote:

There's several signs but DC doesn't fulfill all criteria. Here's what the psychologist told me was autism:
- has difficulty making friends, prefers to play by themself
- problem making eye contact and casual conversation
- irrational fears and anxiety
- compulsive behavior
- problems listening, just wants to follow their own rules
- problem reading people's emotions. Dc has a hard time understanding when I'm upset or angry.
- notices and latches on to little details
- problems sleeping

Dc also symptoms of ADHD and the psychologist told me that at that age there's really not that many things that would be diagnosed.

amother

Aster

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 7:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

A lot of that can be anxiety and developmentally delayed.

amother

Winterberry

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 7:53 pm

amother Aster wrote:

A lot of that can be anxiety and developmentally delayed.

Wondering that, because my 4 yo dc unfortunately has a lot of the symptoms on this list... and it's very anxious

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 7:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Start by signing him up for ABA therapy. The sooner you start the bigger the chance he will catch up to his peers. If you feel comfortable saying where you live, I can recommend an agency.
Once you do that, begin looking at his gut health. This website is very helpful.
https://epidemicanswers.org/sy.....rder/

amother

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 8:00 pm

amother Aster wrote:

A lot of that can be anxiety and developmentally delayed.

Developmentally dc was always on track until he turned 4. But DC has trouble focusing on stories too which may be more the ADHD side. Otherwise though dc's language, motor development etc was all very normal.
Obviously this little list I made here is not the same as the four page report I'm not going to share here for privacy reasons.

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 8:23 pm

as a parent of a 4 yr with similar diagnosis- just want to point out if your child is extremely anxious research carefully before going the aba route as it can increase your child's anxiety and put him into flight/freeze mode. If that's the case dir/floortime may be more suited for your child. hatzacha!

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 8:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you elaborate on that please?

There is a school of thought based on advanced, cutting edge scientific information that developmental delays and behavioral and emotional issues are caused by different health and medical factors that can be addressed using biological interventions, to heal the body and the brain from the inside, rather than or in conjunction with more traditional therapies that work from the outside so to speak

amother

Aster

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 8:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

Emotional development is quite fluid in the sense that some play therapy might address some of these issues and the diagnosis might not fit anymore as the symptoms won't present.

It just feels very young to take this diagnosis and run with it unless there are some extreme autistic behaviors.

amother

Obsidian

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 9:07 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Considering ABA Abusive is really old fashioned. ABA, today, is Not abusive.
You can do ABA AND OT, PT, Speech etc.

I just spoke to someone who finished her degree in it in lakewood and she was still taught the goal of therapy is to make the child as "normal" as possible, and that they should reward normalizing behaviour.

Thats not okay.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 9:11 pm

amother Obsidian wrote:

Ok, so your goal should be to make the child as not normal as possible, and reward behaviors that are not appropriate or "normal".

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 9:13 pm

And that ABA is not abusive is because it's been so watered down especially for children who are high functioning . But you need a good BCBA, therapist , and agency.

amother

Obsidian

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 9:15 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Ok, so your goal should be to make the child as not normal as possible, and reward behaviors that are not appropriate or "normal".

No, the goal isn't to teach the child there is something inheretly wrong with them, they were born with this horrible autism thing and now we must fix it and make you look as presentable as possible.

Because as much as you try you can't fix autism or cure it or make it ever fully go away.

You should teach kids that they are beautiful as they are, unique and different and at the same time teach them social skills, and what's socially appropriate. Teach them to stim and express their autistic selves in an appropriate public manner and help them learn to do some things in private more, not because they are bad or wrong because our society deems certain things aren't ways we act in public.

Read about how many autistic adults have PTSD, issues masking, and breakdowns due to their ABA therapy.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Feb 28 2023, 9:17 pm

My 4 year old is developmentally delayed. His speech/ language is really behind. He gets speech, OT and I send him to a social group. Im working on getting him a full evaluation it’s just a long wait list. I’m following to see what else people recommend that has helped their children.