No communication with child’s social worker

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:29 am

My child has been going to a social worker for 8 months.
The social worker called me once but didnt reach me and said they would call back but never did.
My child’s case worker called several times to get a progress report and never got a call back.
Am I supposed to run after the social worker to get a progress report or should they call me?
I’m an new to this and don’t know what is supposed to happen.
Could anyone tell me?

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:34 am

amother OP wrote:

I dont think you should view it as a rule . Its your child . I would naturally be interested in being in touch and getting progress reports.

amother

Yellow

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:43 am

Is this in school?

heidi

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:48 am

Under age 18 a child's therapist should be meeting with his parents every 4-6 sessions. That is the time to work with parents to help them help child.

amother

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:53 am

amother Yellow wrote:

Is this in school?

No at a clinic

amother

Bronze

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:59 am

heidi wrote:

Under age 18 a child's therapist should be meeting with his parents every 4-6 sessions. That is the time to work with parents to help them help child.

This.
The social worker should be reaching out to you, not you running after the social worker.

amother

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 1:55 am

Thank you I thought I was at fault.
I am a bit uncomfortable with the therapist because I know him from my neighborhood and my son sees him in shul.
I really would love to go over to him after shul and say something but I don’t.
Also something about him rubs me wrong but my child is comfortable talking to him. Also there were a few things I wanted to be worked on in therapy and it doesn’t seem like it is only things my child wants to talk about.
I asked the therapist to bring up these topics but I don’t believe he ever did.

On a side note do I give him shalach monos? My child has an appointment on shushan Purim. What’s the correct thing to do?

heidi

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 7:07 am

He's not your friend. And if he is he shouldn't be your child's therapist. Call for an appointment. Do not say anything in shul other than Good Shabbos. I wouldn't bring mishloach manot

oneofakind

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 8:00 am

Call him. Best is to make an appointment to meet. Your son will reach his goals much quicker if you are involved.

amother

Linen

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 8:07 am

You should definitely be more persistent in calling
If he still has 0
Communication I would look elsewhere, as this is an important field
To have open communication

amother

Crimson

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:40 am

I had the same thing. It was very disturbing. I felt like the best way to help my child was with contact with his therapist but he was rarely in touch. It was strange because the few times we spoke he sounded like he was protecting my son and wouldn’t share even though my son was young. My son kept going and since I knew he needed help I allowed it but the lack of communication really rubbed me the wrong way.
No, I would not send shalach manos.

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:45 am

Why is everyone busy saying not to send shalach manos to a therapist ? I have one ready for my childs therapist .thought its a nice gesture of showing my appreciation . Am I socially off ..?

amother

Crimson

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:47 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

Why is everyone busy saying not to send shalach manos to a therapist ? I have one ready for my childs therapist .thought its a nice gesture of showing my appreciation . Am I socially off ..?

It’s fine but not necessary at all.

amother

Snapdragon

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:50 am

Very unprofessional on the part of the therapist. DD’s therapists insist I meet with them in person every 6 weeks or so. They should want to keep you in the loop. And they should certainly be calling the case worker back. I would not be comfortable with this at all.

amother

Firethorn

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 11:01 am

I’m going to disagree. It’s on you to establish communication with the social worker. Call him.

I do agree if he’s ignoring you, you may want to look elsewhere. But you have to try to reach out a few times.

Another thing. Therapy isn’t behavioral. It doesn’t work on your goals, it works on your child’s goals. I know this isn’t a popular opinion but this is what the majority of therapists believe.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 9:18 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

As a therapist I would slightly agree with you.
I think it is up to both parties to have open communication. Any therapist who refuses to talk about minor children (in some states there is an exception for teenagers) to their legal guardians when there is no concern about danger is not an effective and ethical therapist. But the parent should reach out too.

Now, as to goals- it depends on why the kid is in therapy. Goals should be collaborative. Taking into account what the parents want and what the kid feels he needs.
It also depends on the age. My 6 year old would have no clue what to do in therapy and what a goal should be. But my 16 year old would. So the older they are, the more independent and in charge of their own therapy process they should be.

amother

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 10:10 pm

What bothers me is that he reached out to me once but I couldn't talk so he asked when is a good time to call and he never did.
Then my son's case worker called the therapist several times to get a progress report and the therapist never called him back.

imasinger

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 10:16 pm

The important thing is to build the team to help DS. Yes, call or text if he doesn't get back to you. No, don't go up to him in shul, keep private things private.

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