What chores does your 10 year old do?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:15 pm

We want to give our 10 year old some increased responsibility. Currently, she clears the table after every meal. She helps out with the laundry, mostly hers, but occasionally others' laundry. She also cooks or bakes one dish/dessert for shabbos. She sometimes prepares her snacks for school, but dh often does that for her since he is doing it for everyone else anyway. She also takes care of her stuff after school (old food containers in the sink, putting away her coat, shoes, backpack, etc.). She is generally supposed to help with tidying up, with varying results.

Curious what others' 10 year olds do, both in terms of how much and what types of household chores.

Thanks!

amother

Chambray

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:18 pm

All that plus sweeping, cleaning up toys, tidying their rooms, vacuuming, drying dishes, sometimes washing easy dishes. These are mostly weekend jobs.

crust

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:41 pm

Wow, that is so cute that he/she is helping so much!

I thin that is enough for that age.

#BestBubby

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:44 pm

Set the table

Serve meal

Cleat table

Unload groceries from car

Put away groceries

Sweep

Vacuum

Wash or dry dishes

Load/unload dishwasher

Buy a few groceries like milk or bread from local store.

Kudos for teaching child to do chessed at home.

amother

DarkPurple

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:59 pm

It’s a boy but he really helps!
He prepares clothing for the next day for all kids.
He helps clean up the playroom
He puts tablecloth on table
He washes table
He helps watch youngest sibling

amother

Iris

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:01 pm

Why are you looking to increase her chores? Sounds like more than enough for a 10 year old.

Is this coming from her or from you (the need to do more)

amother

Tan

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:11 pm

I think certain chores should be everyone's responsibility like everyone should learn to clear their dishes when dinner is over. One person shouldn't be clearing everyone's dishes. Same with preparing clothes for the next day, it's part of becoming a responsible person.

amother

Beige

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:16 pm

That seems like plenty.

My 10 yo doesnt do half of that.

Sounds like youre on the right path!

westchestermom

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:24 pm

Folding and putting away own laundry, packing own lunch, helping younger sisters in kitchen or getting dressed when asked, occasionally putting out trash, changing own sheets and cleaning own room including vacuuming, when she's making a snack for herself ask siblings if they want as well. Generally being thoughtful of everyone else you live with. Now that I'm on maternity leave I do most of this myself but when I was pregnant they had to help more.

justforfun87

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:25 pm

Gulp... I need to get my kids into shape.

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:34 pm

Why do you want to increase her chores? She's already doing a lot for a 10 year old.

#BestBubby

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 6:44 pm

The mothers who let their kids get away with
Doing next to nothing,
Are very annoyed when a mother is responsible
And gets her kids to help out and be unselfish.

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 9:04 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

The mothers who let their kids get away with
Doing next to nothing,
Are very annoyed when a mother is responsible
And gets her kids to help out and be unselfish.

The mothers who were overburdened with chores as children for the sake of "values" such as "chessed" and "responsibility," understand that children are not there for us to get as much work as possible out of them.

Why on earth would a parent want to increase a child's chore list when she is already doing so much.

amother

Acacia

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 9:40 pm

My kids were between 6 and 9 or so when I got organized as far as official chores. We had job wheels, one for weeknights and one for Fridays, and every day or week we moved the wheel one unit so each kid had a different job each time. Weeknights, there were things like set or clear the table,
and wash the dishes. Fridays there were things like vacuum or wash floors. They also had to change their own bed linens and vacuum their own room, and this wasn't on the wheel.
There was no inspection; if one kid did a poor job washing the floor this week, the next kid would do a better job next week. Or not. The idea was to get the kids used to the idea that all members of the household contribute to its upkeep, not to expect a six-year-old to wash floors like a pro.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 9:47 pm

Is she cleaning up her own room? That would be one thing I would add. But personally I think she is doing a lot. I wouldn't compare it to age. I would push her to do what she can reasonably do. Every kid is different.

My 11 year old puts his clothing in his hamper and helps me with groceries sometimes. He also cleans the car every so often and rakes leaves and shovels snow.

My 7 year old puts away his toys and keeps his room clean. He also helps put away groceries from the weekly shopping and helps my husband a little erev shabbos. He does a lot more for his age than my older kid did at that age.

tweety1

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 10:42 pm

My 10 yr old folds the boys pants. He watched me doing it a few times and learned quickly.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 12:18 am

#BestBubby wrote:

The mothers who let their kids get away with
Doing next to nothing,
Are very annoyed when a mother is responsible
And gets her kids to help out and be unselfish.

Who's talking here about doing next to nothing? OP's daughter is doing alot for a 10 year old. A 10 year old is a little kid. Our children are not our maids.

amother

Zinnia

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 12:29 am

It sounds like a nice amount of help. Please be careful that you are not giving her more jobs because you are tired or can’t afford help in the house. And I’m actually in favor of paying my kids for the chores they do so they don’t grow up resentful. And letting them each pick the chores the like.

#BestBubby

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 12:37 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

Who's talking here about doing next to nothing? OP's daughter is doing alot for a 10 year old. A 10 year old is a little kid. Our children are not our maids.

I think it is good for kids to learn to do everything they will do as adults.

That doesn't mean do it all every day.

My idea is 30-45 minutes on a school night.

And 60-90 minutes on erev shobbos/YT.

That's not being a maid, that is doing your fair share.

Parents are not the maids of the kids either.

Everyone has to help.

And 10 years old is a big kid.

This is why we have 30 y.o. men-babies.

Because their mommas always treated them
Like little kids who don't have to do anything.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 12:58 am

#BestBubby wrote:

30-45 minutes of chores every night is VERY much for a 10 year old. And 90 minutes on a weekend? That's alot! 10 year old is NOT a big kid. Let kids be kids. They don't need to learn now everything they'll have to do as an adult. There's still plenty time for that. This is absolutely NOT why we have 30 year old man babies. It has nothing to do with them not doing more than age appropriate chores at age 10.
Again, no one here is saying that 10 year olds shouldn't do anything. They should be doing age appropriate chores and OP's daughter is doing plenty already.

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