Needing the bathroom past bedtime

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:32 pm

My dd 5 used the bathroom b4 bed. Tonight she called to me 45 min past her bedtime that she needed it again. I didn't l let because it's an excuse to get out of bed. Would you have let? It's not the 1st time it's happened.

oneofakind

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:40 pm

If you feel it's the proper thing to do why are you posting it here?
Would you prefer a wet bed or the opposite, UTIs?
Would you want to be restricted from using the bathroom after you are already in bed?

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:50 pm

Thank you for making me feel guilty. Bedtime is hard enough with my kids not able to fall asleep so fast. And I purposely do bathroom time b4 bed so I won't have them coming back out of bed for every excuse they can think of.

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

Still being up 45 minutes after bed time, is not normal and should be addressed. Perhaps a later bedtime or melatonin. She may really need to use the bathroom 45 minutes after bedtime.

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:52 pm

Would you want to be restricted from using the bathroom after you are already in bed?[/quote]

These 2 can't be related. We don't use the bathroom as adults as an excuse to get out of bed. Just so happens when I need the bathroom during the night I try and stay in bed cuz I'm too tired to get up

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Would you want to be restricted from using the bathroom after you are already in bed?

Quote:

These 2 can't be related. We don't use the bathroom as adults as an excuse to get out of bed. Just so happens when I need the bathroom during the night I try and stay in bed cuz I'm too tired to get up

[/quote]
You're not making sense. Adults don't need an "excuse" to get out of bed, because they're adults and no one forces us to stay in bed and we have adult brains and not childrens brains.
Just because you don't go to the bathroom in the night, it doesn't mean your kids shouldn't go either! That's just mean. It should be their own choice, not something you decide for them.
If she wouldn't lie awake for 45 minutes after being in bed, she wouldn't be looking for excuses to come out of bed.

amother

Apple

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:06 pm

Why is OP being hammered here? What are you all...a bunch of goody 2 shoes dreamy angelic mothers? Come on?!

Nobody ever dealt with kids that take advantage continuously night after night by using excuses like drink, bathroom and homework?

I consider myself a real good loving caring mother. I put each kid to sleep with special mommy time. At one point I had to put my foot down and created a pass system because the after bedtime emergencies were becoming too often.

That all being said a kid that needs to have bowel movements after bedtime very often you should evaluate the following. Are they eating to close to bedtime? Bowel movements are usually triggered by eating. Same with drinking... If the kid keeps needing to pee after bedtime are they drinking too much too close to bedtime? Is the kid constipated?

Also some kids only notice the need to make once they lie in silence and their body starts relaxing.

If this is a rare occurrence I would let the kid get away with it...

Good luck OP!

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:08 pm

amother Apple wrote:

A pass system is very inappropriate for home life and bedtime. I’m sorry. A kid should be able to use the bathroom whenever they want or need to without an adult controlling them.

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Apple wrote:

My kids have a water bottle at their bed, so no need to come out of bed. Bathroom, especially after 45 minutes, is not ok to withhold.

pause

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:11 pm

I tell my kids that the only reason they can come out of bed is if they need to use the bathroom, and then it's go to the bathroom and go straight back to bed.

If I feel like they're taking advantage and finding an excuse to start talking to me, I say, "Good night, you're sleeping already." OTOH, sometimes they remember the important things to share with me just then, and then I do listen. You gotta know your kid. But restricting bathroom use? NO WAY, JOSE!

amother

Thistle

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:13 pm

Does she still expect your help in the bathroom? If she’s completely independent in the bathroom there’s no need to inform you at all, she should know that if she needs the bathroom she can get up, go all by herself, and go straight back to bed.

It’s no fun this way so that should limit the visits to truly necessary ones.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:13 pm

In my house I like to have a bowl with apples and a water bottle in or near the kids rooms. They are welcome to eat something, drink something, or go to the bathroom at will. There are no other reasons to be out of bed. Since there is no interaction, there is less motivation to do them unless you actually need to.

I also like to put on music or stories at night for them to listen to in bed.

lucky14

Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:18 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

I don’t think the apples are the best thing if they aren’t going to be brushing teeth again after eating them. (Saying this to try to be helpful not annoying.)