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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:18 pm
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There's also many times dc will call to me and when I answer, she'll say I can't sleep! And obviously if it would be#2 I would allow it. But I can't have overtired kids the next day by letting them get their way every time they call my name with a request. We have a bedtime checklist we go through and bathroom is on there. Dc doesn't even drink by supper time
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lucky14
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:20 pm
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Yeah many people are being pretty hard on OP. My kids can use the bathroom but like other people have said- no talking. Right to the bathroom and back to bed.
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lucky14
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:21 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | There's also many times dc will call to me and when I answer, she'll say I can't sleep! And obviously if it would be#2 I would allow it. But I can't have overtired kids the next day by letting them get their way every time they call my name with a request. We have a bedtime checklist we go through and bathroom is on there. Dc doesn't even drink by supper time |
But bathroom takes like just a couple of minutes and then she goes right back to her room so why not?
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amother
Turquoise
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:23 pm
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I do let my kid Use the bathroom BUT I know she hides books and uses it as an excuse to read while she ‘poops’ for 1/2 hour.
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amother
Almond
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:23 pm
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Do you spend quality time with dh when she goes to bed? That makes a huge difference in how fast and easy my kids go to sleep
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amother
OP
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:23 pm
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I guess in my case it's different. We're in an apartment with the bathroom off of the living room. So on the way to the bathroom she'll start talking to us and after the bathroom give a hard time about going back to bed
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amother
OP
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:26 pm
| amother Almond wrote: | | Do you spend quality time with dh when she goes to bed? That makes a huge difference in how fast and easy my kids go to sleep |
That's when I clean up from the kids supper and get out supper ready
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amother
Cadetblue
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:28 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I guess in my case it's different. We're in an apartment with the bathroom off of the living room. So on the way to the bathroom she'll start talking to us and after the bathroom give a hard time about going back to bed |
So you say no talking and ignore her. I would also silently and firmly walk her to her room.
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amother
Almond
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:30 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | That's when I clean up from the kids supper and get out supper ready |
Well bedtime is a thing for kids. They don’t like feeling alone. I would give her 5-10 minutes in bed of quality time
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Amarante
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:44 pm
this reminded me of the Danny Kaye album he recorded for children years ago
Mommy, Gimme A Drink of Water
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amother
Blueberry
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | There's also many times dc will call to me and when I answer, she'll say I can't sleep! And obviously if it would be#2 I would allow it. But I can't have overtired kids the next day by letting them get their way every time they call my name with a request. We have a bedtime checklist we go through and bathroom is on there. Dc doesn't even drink by supper time |
Why isn’t Dc drinking by supper? She is thirsty then. I hope she has a water bottle by her bed. Your approach sounds so rigid. It’s much healthier for kids to be able to take care of their physical needs when they need to. When they feel like they can they don’t play games with you. Give them the respect and space and they will respond in kind.
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amother
Blueberry
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:50 pm
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Making her hold herself in won’t get her to sleep any faster. It will cause resentment and anxiety for her. In the future the healthy approach would be that of course she can use the bathroom and she doesn’t need to ask you. You are her mother not a prison warden.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:52 pm
| amother Blueberry wrote: | | Why isn’t Dc drinking by supper? She is thirsty then. I hope she has a water bottle by her bed. Your approach sounds so rigid. It’s much healthier for kids to be able to take care of their physical needs when they need to. When they feel like they can they don’t play games with you. Give them the respect and space and they will respond in kind. |
She doesn't ask for a drink. When I offer she never wants. She drinks at school and hardly drinks at home. She let's me know
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amother
Blueberry
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | She doesn't ask for a drink. When I offer she never wants. She drinks at school and hardly drinks at home. She let's me know |
That’s not healthy. Drinking should be encouraged. You should work on allowing her to be in tune to her bodies messaging. It’s so important for kids to know how to take care of their physical needs. We as their adults need to encourage them to listen to their bodies and not control or restrict them in that regard.
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amother
Lightpink
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 10:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I guess in my case it's different. We're in an apartment with the bathroom off of the living room. So on the way to the bathroom she'll start talking to us and after the bathroom give a hard time about going back to bed |
Our bathroom is also near the kitchen/living room. Tell her that she can go to the bathroom and right back to bed, no talking. Ignore her if she talks to you and walk her back to bed.
What time does she go to sleep? Perhaps she can read in bed for a bit to help her wind down.
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amother
Cognac
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 11:10 pm
Op, I’m a primary school teachers. Most teachers in the school implement a pass system, which I hate. Because what are you going to do when she uses up her pass and has another emergency, have her wet herself?
What always works for me is to tell my students on the first day of school that they can always go to the bathroom as needed, one student at a time. I explain the importance of going before class, but if an emergency happens they can go. I say the same thing about drinking water and sharpening pencils. If you need to do it, go ahead, there’s no rule against it.
On the first day students keep leaving to use the bathroom or getting a drink or go to the trash can to sharpen their pencils. I’m okay with that. The next day many students repeat this. By the third day some students are bored of the idea. Usually after a week the fun wears of and they only use it when it’s really necessary. The distracting first few days are worth it for the peace of mind it gives both me and my students for the rest of the year. In all my years of teaching this worked very well.
I think you should do the same thing at home. The first few nights she will come out of bed to use the bathroom even if she doesn’t need it, and after a few weeks it won’t be interesting anymore if you don’t make it into a rule.
I also realized that when kids keep thinking that they can’t leave to use the bathroom they start to really need it. It’s the thought that you can’t that makes you imagine that maybe you do.
Hope this helps.
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amother
Blueberry
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 11:12 pm
| amother Cognac wrote: | Op, I’m a primary school teachers. Most teachers in the school implement a pass system, which I hate. Because what are you going to do when she uses up her pass and has another emergency, have her wet herself?
What always works for me is to tell my students on the first day of school that they can always go to the bathroom as needed, one student at a time. I explain the importance of going before class, but if an emergency happens they can go. I say the same thing about drinking water and sharpening pencils. If you need to do it, go ahead, there’s no rule against it.
On the first day students keep leaving to use the bathroom or getting a drink or go to the trash can to sharpen their pencils. I’m okay with that. The next day many students repeat this. By the third day some students are bored of the idea. Usually after a week the fun wears of and they only use it when it’s really necessary. The distracting first few days are worth it for the peace of mind it gives both me and my students for the rest of the year. In all my years of teaching this worked very well.
I think you should do the same thing at home. The first few nights she will come out of bed to use the bathroom even if she doesn’t need it, and after a few weeks it won’t be interesting anymore if you don’t make it into a rule.
I also realized that when kids keep thinking that they can’t leave to use the bathroom they start to really need it. It’s the thought that you can’t that makes you imagine that maybe you do.
Hope this helps. |
You sound like an amazing and intuitive teacher!
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 11:15 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I guess in my case it's different. We're in an apartment with the bathroom off of the living room. So on the way to the bathroom she'll start talking to us and after the bathroom give a hard time about going back to bed |
I would just ignore if she starts talking but definitely wouldn’t restrict bathroom usage unless she is coming out every 5 minutes . You can cause her to have accidents, make it even harder to fall asleep, have UTI’s, etc. Sometimes lying down makes a person feel like they need the bathroom again, happens to me all the time. It’s normal to need the bathroom after going to bed.
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dena613
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 11:15 pm
Absolutely let your dc go to the bathroom.
especially because she's going out of her mind lying in bed for 45 minutes.
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simmy17
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Wed, Mar 22 2023, 1:34 am
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I always tell my dc drinking water and going to the bathroom is not something you need my permission do what you need to do and go back to bed. She tells me a lot of times she cant fall asleep my answer is usually you don't need to go to sleep you relax in bed till you fall asleep..
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