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chestnut
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 Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:00 pm
Yes, absolutely crazy.
I'd buy one new outfit now for pesach and the rest - when it goes on sale. The weather isn't so warm anyway, and I'm sure she has some stuff from last pesach/summer/succos.
I went to a store that had a sale now and dresses were $60. I was wondering how it was a sale price until I saw the full price tags.
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MindOverMatter
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Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:15 pm
Absolutely out of hand. Added pressure over here bc we're OOT and drive in twice a year for clothes shopping. (Hello 5 hours each way!) So we feel like we [b]have to get everything all at once, and Chas v'Shalom it should be too late in the season when "all my sizes are gone!"
I have to admit to you, I gave up this time. Entirely. I was in such denial that I DIDN'T LOOK AT MOST PRICE TAGS.
Needless to say, my CC eventually said "no more" and It literally maxed out. 3 teenage girls, who want to look sharp and put together . . . We spent thousands . . . This, mind you, was 2-3 Shabbes each and weekday.
I came back more shell shocked then ever.
But, yeah, now that they're growing less, we"ll have to stop the expectation of new clothes every season. It has to stop. (But first, seminary shopping . . ...)
I feel your pain, OP. I'm right there with you.
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chestnut
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Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:31 pm
| amother Floralwhite wrote: | | If you want to post some ideas of what you're looking for and we can try to help with links as it is possible to try to find some cheaper stuff sometimes... |
Right. Junees shabbos dresses are around or under $100
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chestnut
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:14 am
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If you're in Brooklyn, I just saw that Forever Young extended their sale for this week. Worth checking out
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amother
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 6:17 am
Thank you, everyone.
I’d like to think I’m a normal, with-it, but still sane mother. And this season has had me questioning EVERYTHING.
At first I (also) thought I’d just not look at the prices. But after 3 purchases that tiny inner voice became a scream in my brain. No. This is not good chinuch, it is not fair to the greater community to keep feeding the madness, it is not financially responsible.
Yes. I put my foot down to ($208) A Soliani shoes. I won that “battle,” I guess you could say. But we ended up with $112 Esporre ones.
Yes, we looked on Udel. Yes, we found clothing. No, I did not find that the prices were * that * much better. ($79 shabbos skirt, etc) AND to make matters worse, Udel is considered more of a bdi eved shopping option in the girls circles. Ugh.
We’ve done the shein, Zara, hm runs. We’ve occasionally gotten lucky finding shoes, a cardigan, etc here and there. But not really significant savings.
Thank you again everyone for your input. It is great validation. I don’t like being a kvetch about these things but I feel like it’s come to a point where I feel like my brain hurts and I need to get certain sentiments out of my system.
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little neshamala
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 8:24 am
We BH can afford to buy these clothes, and we davka dont.
Ive trained my kids (yes, teens too) from a young age that we dont wear obviously brand name clothing in order not to cause pain to those who cant afford it. (Can you tell I grew up very poor and hurting terribly in a class of spendy girls?) I will buy my kids brand name clothes for quality, but only if there is no obvious logo or name on it.
My kids are growing up with an inner confidence and self worth, and every so often this comes up-even with non brand name items, but just super expensive ones from frum stores, and I simply explain the situation to them.
"We can afford it, but this is pure waste. I can not condone such money wasting when there are so many people in our community who cant pay their electricity bills. We will not be shopping in these stores . Zehu."
We live in monsey ny, and my kids like looking good, but they get what im saying, and theyre happy. These stores are just not an option for us, on principle. We've gotten lucky on shein (order a humongous $900 order, and send about 2/3 of it back, still came out with loads of outfits that look very nice). Or we shop end of season sales, amazon prime, H&M, zara....
We buy cute hair accessories and jewelry, and dont even spend much. And they all look great BH.
My other (main) reason for doing this is to give my children the tools they will need later in their adult lives, to be able to spend within their means and not feel the pressure to do what everyone else does. If I let them spend outrageous money on clothes "they have to have", what will train them to have the strength not to make the upsherin they cant afford, not to buy their kids clothes they cant afford, not to make a bar mitzvah they cant afford, not to lease a car they cant afford, not to buy a house they cant afford?
Tell me why is it that this generation has so many young couples with massive credit card debt??
Why is the organization Mesila, and other financial advisors, FULL of young couples who are drowning in debt with crazy spending habits?
Its very scary.
We need to teach our children when theyre young, by example-and honestly, pesach clothing shopping is a perfect opportunity.
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