S/o minhagim being taken too far.

crust

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Sorry for my wording.
I still believe that's it's extremely far fetched not to use plastics. I'm shocked that it's a thing.
I wonder what the Rabbonim think of it. Making pesach must be very very difficult, almost impossible, with all these extra chumras.

But this is exactly the thing.
You don't need to understand it and it has nothing with Rabbanim.

Pesach is a time for family mesorah. Of course you cannot make up your own chumras but just because you didn't hear of a chumra it doesn't mean that it isn't an established minhag to a certain family.

If someone can not handle it then of course they should be themselves matir neder and stop doing whatever is too hard for them but I don't understand the attitude and even the shock.
(Unless you don't come from that culture and you are really trying to understand but then you might want to phrase your posts more respectfully.)

I can do my own thing while at the same time respect people that do their own thing.

My grandfather didn't use plastic tablecloths and bags because they are made from beans and it is kitniyos.
We dont do this because he claimed it is his own chumra and not something he wants to pass down.

But to give attitude to people that do carry on with it?

Its defeating the purpose of mesorah and minhag that this yt is based on.

Perhaps you need to educate yourself more on the essence of this yt in some cultures.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:15 am

As long as both husband and wife are on the same page with the chumrahs and both do the work, especially if the wife took on the husband's extra chumrahs then kol hakovod. But if it's the husband wanting the chumrahs on the wife's cheshbon then that's not frumkeit to me. Bh from my own personal experience, family, friends and neighbors it seems like most are in it together and everyone pulls their weight to make it happen. Husbands, wives, bochurim and girls all doing their share. On the flip side, I have a male relative that married into a family with tons of stringencies that his wife didn't want to give up. So he accommodates hers and stands in the kitchen doing everything from scratch together with her.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:24 am

crust wrote:

I am not OP, and this is a genuine post. I am truly wanting to understand.

The bolded - re: Pesach is about family mesorah - I only see that sentiment on this site. I've been frum for over 20 years BH and have never heard anyone say that Pesach is based on family mesorah. Where does this concept come from?

Where I come from, EVERYTHING has to do with rabbonim. You can never go wrong when you consult your own Daas Torah. We don't take on or drop just stam. It's also a halacha that we don't add or take away from the Torah.

I would like to understand. If you can point me in the direction of a source or two (I am honestly not saying this to challenge you, I know that's how it's often said on this site), I would appreciate it. I've just literally never heard anyone say in real life that Pesach is all about mesorah and minhag.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:33 am

DH's family eats no fish on Pesach. I always disliked this minhag but learned to accept it. His grandfather took on the minhag from his wife's family. DH was told a number of years ago that since it's his father's minhag, it's his mesorah and he needs to keep it. However, DH is planning to ask again, since at this point, he feels that it's ruining simchas yom tov for my kids (who wish they can have salmon), and I had such aggravation erev yom tov trying to get the falshe fish mixture to hold together. He wants to be matir neder.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:33 am

My grandparents didn't eat kiwis and mangoes on Pesach. Maybe we shouldn't either. No, that's nonsense. My grandparents never ate kiwis or mangoes in their lives because they weren't available.

We don't eat kitniyos because that is a (mostly) reasonable gezeira that has been practiced for nearly a thousand years.

As for the corn starch in disposables - it's an inedible derivative of a derivative. If it were edible, your paper goods would be crawling in bugs. Calling that chametz is way off base.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:35 am

watergirl wrote:

I don't know of a source, but I'm surprised that you never heard this, because in my circles, I hear it all the time. It's common knowledge.

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:35 am

crust wrote:

I'm chassidish. My honest opinion?

I think we have decided that Pesach is a time for family mesorah. I don't know if that's an actual requirement.

And so many "mesorahs" are born out of necessity at that time and nothing to do with Pesach halachos.
Think of the classic joke- cutting off the brisket ends because it's mesorah and when digging deeper finding out its because an ancestor way back did not have a pot big enough...

People feel good when they kill themselves and say it's mesorah. They're too afraid to take a deeper look and think maybe just maybe it's not a necessity.

This pesach I visited my parents. A few of my married siblings had their kosher flip phones covered in saran wrap. I guarantee you none of the generations back did that because there wasn't even such a thing as cell phones.
But give it a few more generations and their descendants will think covering your device in saran wrap is a holy mesorah.

amother

Petunia

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:37 am

doodlesmom wrote:

I do use plastic on pesach, but do have very minimal processed food in my pesach pantry. I love the challenge of making food fresh for just one week. I use my creativity to give variety and wholesome meals!

I don’t think I’d be so happy to cook for pesach if everything klp goes….it would be too same old same old.

Trust me, even for people who use many ingredients, it is far from "same old" and is very different from what is eaten on a regular yt or a regular week. Pesach is still very special, happy time for them too.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:39 am

amother Wheat wrote:

I don't know of a source, but I'm surprised that you never heard this, because in my circles, I hear it all the time. It's common knowledge.

Key words - IN YOUR CIRCLES.

This is not a thing everywhere or for everyone. Not even close. Which is why I asked, because this concept is totally foregin to me. Pesach (for me and where I am) is about yetziyas mitzrayim and all that went with that. There are so many halachos in and of themselves, adding more because "pesach is all about family mesorah" is not something I had ever encountered before this site.

People should be allowed to ask here in a nice way (like I did) without getting a reply like yours. This is how we learn about each other. Learning breeds understanding and peace.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:43 am; edited 1 time in total

watergirl

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:40 am

amother Wheat wrote:

Of course it doesn't. I'm referring to the fact that watergirl has never heard of it, so there must not be a source.

I TRULY hope you are not insinuating that I was saying that since I have never heard of it, it must be made up. I was clear, or I thought I was - I wanted to know (and I asked kindly and genuinely and said I was not challenging anyone) for the source of this concept as a starting point so I can learn from there.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:47 am

watergirl wrote:

I'm very sorry, my post must have come out as sounding too harsh in writing. I am not insinuating anything. You said you never heard it before, so all I was saying that in my community, it's something that everyone is very aware and careful about.

I am the last person to bash people on this site. I certainly did not mean to criticize.

amother

Sand

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:51 am

watergirl wrote:

Someone recently told me I think they heard this from Rabbi Biderman (not 100% sure)
That on pesach we try to keep minhagim because minhagim is what helped the bnei yisroel get out of mitzrayim. It says they were taken out because they didn’t change their names, clothing and language. Those are all minhagim/mesorah.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:57 am

amother Wheat wrote:

Thank you. All good Smile

watergirl

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 10:57 am

amother Sand wrote:

Ahh ok! This is interesting. I know this, and this is a good place to start looking. Thanks.

amother

Azalea

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 11:12 am

my husbands family barely buys anything thats processed (no spices even pepper), no garlic, only peeled vegetables, no oil, no fish only homemade gefilte fish and carp. My bil does that anything that falls on the floor is like chametz and is not used until the next year (one year the food processor fell on the floor so she had to buy another one)
I didnt grow up with any of this so its all so strange to me