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Highstrung
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 Sun, May 21 2023, 5:09 pm
| amother OP wrote: | In the house I lived in before this one the washing machine and dryer were in the kitchen. Of course I had a hamper there. I don't see the issue, I wasn't putting dirty clothes in the food. And a kitchen that is dirty doesn't mean that the pots or dishes that the food is being cooked in and served on are dirty.
But I see that some people have standards I never will be able to reach, I wish there was a way to know before inviting someone because I don't think or at least hope not everyone is on such a high standard.
I used to think that people come for the company and if I'm not embarrassed they won't be bothered but from comments in other places and me getting more self conscious as I get older I am thinking that is not true for everyone. |
I don’t think it’s your job as the hostess to live up to the expectations of the guests. If guests don’t like your cleanliness , they shouldn’t accept an invitation from you again in the future. Guests should know going into it that their hosts may not have the same level of hygiene and cleanliness as they do. If they still want to go , it’s on them.
My houses cleanliness can have its ups and downs. I’ve never once stopped myself from inviting people. There is only one person who declines my invites .If it’s because my cleanliness standards don’t live up to hers , I’ll never know.
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zaq
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Sun, May 21 2023, 5:24 pm
OP, what is your real concern and your real question? From the way you describe it, your house isn't all that messy or dirty but more run-down and cluttered. Are you embarrassed to have people see your place, or are you newly afraid because you read a whole bunch of critical posts on imamother? If the latter, I wouldn't worry about it. If you had guests before, did they seem reluctant to accept a second invitation? That could be a sign that you need to do something. If you've hosted people and they accepted more than once, you're doing fine.
OTOH, if you've never invited guests because you're embarrassed to have them see your place, the solution is to fix it up to the best of your ability. Camouflage what you can't fix. A little creativity, paint, permanent marker and fabric here and there can cover up a multitude of sins.
Here's a for-instance: Your sofa is missing one leg in the front. A thick book works to hold it up. If you paint the book the same color as the sofa, it will be less glaring. If you have two similar books, or bricks, or blocks of wood, you could remove the leg on the other side and prop up both sides of the sofa with matching substitutes. If your sofa cushions are torn and stained, and you can't afford slipcovers, a king- or queen-sized flat sheet can be spread across the entire sofa and tucked in around the cushions to hide everything.
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Cheiny
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Sun, May 21 2023, 11:07 pm
| amother OP wrote: | In the house I lived in before this one the washing machine and dryer were in the kitchen. Of course I had a hamper there. I don't see the issue, I wasn't putting dirty clothes in the food. And a kitchen that is dirty doesn't mean that the pots or dishes that the food is being cooked in and served on are dirty.
But I see that some people have standards I never will be able to reach, I wish there was a way to know before inviting someone because I don't think or at least hope not everyone is on such a high standard.
I used to think that people come for the company and if I'm not embarrassed they won't be bothered but from comments in other places and me getting more self conscious as I get older I am thinking that is not true for everyone. |
Just because your washer-dryer are in the kitchen doesn’t mean the smelly hamper has to be… why can’t you keep it in a bathroom and just bring the dirty clothes into the kitchen when it’s time to do laundry?
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amother
Begonia
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Mon, May 22 2023, 2:26 pm
When I lived in a tiny apartment, my toy shelf was right next to the dining room table. I am not neat and worked full time. There was always toys under the table. I was too embarrassed to have company. I did once in a while, but spent hours cleaning before.
Now I live in a house. You won't find sticky surfaces, dirty laundry on the couch, or dirty dishes all over the house. But you may find a clean shirt that never made it upstairs (for a few days), crafts, toys and books around. You may find cobwebs high up that I can't reach and can't be bothered to climb and clean. You may find a dusty book shelves.
I'm not embarrassed to host, but do try to straighten up a little before- if I can. I have a good friend/neighbor who is a neat freak. The toy gets put away the second her kids are done. She doesn't let them play in dirt or with chalk (well rarely). She is very comfortable in my messy house. Her kids beg her to be more like me--so they get a little muddy, that's what a washing machine and bath tub are for. Or the puzzle sits on the floor for a few days.
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even though my laundry is now in a different room but I wish other people like you would just say so upfront when they are originally invited so I can let them know that my house will not be a good fit for them.
