Dd 5 cut her hair again

amother

Sun, May 21 2023, 11:57 pm

Hi this is the second time she cut her hair. First time she said she was bored in class so cut it we didnt give a real punishment bc her funny looking hairstyle was in itself a consequence and we thought its a one time thing. But now she did it again this time at home and this time looks even worse. She doesnt hav a real reason why she did it. This time we were much more stern with her but how do I prevent that from happening and any good consequences?

amother

Thistle

Mon, May 22 2023, 12:06 am

She's bright and curious and believe it or not, this is going to be a sweet memory for all of you someday .

The bigger question is how a child that age is unattended with scissors in school for long enough to do real damage to her hair. That's a safety issue I would take up with the teacher. When it happens at home, you need to keep an eye on her.

BrisketBoss

Mon, May 22 2023, 12:08 am

Don't give her unsupervised access to scissors; I'd say that's the obvious solution.

Also, asking children who are younger than about 7 the reason why they did something is a questionable practice. Even if they think they know, they are unlikely to have that level of insight. There are less direct questions you can ask to help work it out, though. Ross Greene is a good resource for that.

amother

RosePink

Mon, May 22 2023, 1:21 am

You may be able to limit her access to scissors at home but not at school. Most 5 year olds use normal scissors at school. Just take a picture and put it near her bed and hopefully it will remind her.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, May 22 2023, 7:38 am

Dd did it twice by that age as well. The first time I gave her a very stern warning never to touch scissors without permission and I showed her in the mirror how messy she looked. The second time was worse and guess what. Imamother won’t like it but I gave her a potch which I almost never do and she was utterly shocked and never did it again. I know I’ll get flack for this and if you have a better way go ahead and do it, but sometimes they deserve it and don’t understand any other language.
ETA she did it both times in school so hiding scissors by this age is not a help. They use it all the time in school.

amother

Ivory

Mon, May 22 2023, 7:51 am

My dd used to do this. Definitely hide the scissors. And if she has one she brings to school, her punishment is that she can't bring jt for some period of time - if she misses out on doing prohects at school because of it, that is part of the consequences (let the teacher know). If it comes from the school, talk to the teacher about limiting access, it is as safety issue too.

Dd did this a few times and eventually stopped around elementary school because she started caring more about her appearance. It won't last forever!

amother

Eggplant

Mon, May 22 2023, 7:53 am

Does she show any out of the norm impulsive behavior? Something to keep an eye on. Not majorly problematic, but just to be aware of.

First instinct- get her a load of fidget toys and gadgets. If what she has is her scissors, and it feels good to use them, she will use them. Give her something else, and talk to the teacher about it.

amother

Apricot

Mon, May 22 2023, 8:13 am

I actually smirked a little reading this. I recall doing this at that age too. My mom asked why and I literally said "because I was bored" anyhow it was the bangs so the hair was just pinned back for a little while after. Honestly I was just curious and never did it again. It doesn't seem like a big deal but I would just caution about scissor safety again. We wouldn't want her go use scissors elsewhere but papers (that we're meant to be cut).

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, May 22 2023, 9:47 am

My son did this twice already. Not much punishing I can do as he was under 2. No I didn't leave out the scissors his older sibling was using scissors and he brought over a chair and took them.

taketwo

Mon, May 22 2023, 9:53 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Giving a potch because you don't like the way she looked with that haircut?

I don't agree with Potching, but there are exceptions like if a child needs a shock about putting their life at risk. E.g. running across the street, on multiple occasions, after the dangers have been told over in a very strong way.

A child doesn't deserve a potch because you don't like their haircut. Is your embarrassment more important than your child's relationship with you?

Last edited by taketwo on Mon, May 22 2023, 10:00 am; edited 1 time in total

taketwo

Mon, May 22 2023, 10:00 am

Cutting is fun for that age. Explain that scissors are meant for paper only. Make a pile of scrap paper especially for her. Also get her some child scissors sharp enough for paper, but not sharp enough for hair.. If she needs to cut something she should cut those papers and make a pretty project for you. Tell her you'd love if she made you a project out of the cut up papers.

Tell her if she cuts her hair you won't be able to buy her pretty bows or headbands as much because it won't look as pretty without a professional haircut. Tell her maybe one day when she'll be big she'll be able to learn how to cut hair for real, but right now the only thing that she should be cutting is paper.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, May 22 2023, 10:49 am

taketwo wrote:

As I said I knew I’ll get tomatoes for it but no regrets. BH it’s a couple years later and our relationship is as awesome as it always was. BH I probably hit less that 5 times in her life (running the street without permission was another one. I don’t recall any other time.) She needed a shock because talking didn’t do it and I can’t let her cut her hair herself a few times a year. If you are fine with self made haircuts a couple times a year go ahead and do it your way. I am anti hitting just like the next person but in this case I really don’t feel guilty.

amother

Mon, May 22 2023, 12:06 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Is this the only impulsive thing she did or are there more?

She does color on the walls when she knows thats a big no no. We say coloring is for paper not our walls. The markers are going to be put away until we see that the only coloring is done on paper. I guess I can do something similar with the scissors.