Depriving water at bedtime

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 9:55 pm

chocpretzel wrote:

Wow! I’m honestly shocked at the hostility on this thread! I happen to agree with OP here. It seems like it makes a lot of people uncomfortable enough to gaslight OP which says something about you yourself…

I think there are two points here which are being lumped together: Not allowing water BEFORE bedtime and not allowing AFTER bedtime. Depriving water IS a form of abuse though. Regardless of other definitions of abuse. That doesn’t mean one needs unlimited access though.

Depriving water before bedtime is wrong on many levels. If you have a bed wetting issue or something, you can limit with the child’s understanding. (E.g. This is your cup of water for the next half hour so don’t drink it all in one shot.) And this is also after giving them a warning that bedtime will be in an hour which means in half hour we are only going to have one cup left… to give them time to fill up what they need.

For those that have issues with kids coming out of bed or playing around with water in their bed, you can set up a policy where they can ask for water from their room and a parent will bring water to them and remove the cup when they are done. This way they can’t leave bed for water but are not playing around with it. And if you don’t feel like doing that, then this isn’t about your child’s needs to you…

ETA children are not looking to cause trouble without reason. If you have an issue that they are spilling their water bottles, have them change the linens with your assistance instead of changing for them.

Thanks for your post.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 9:57 pm

Can a mod please lock this thread?

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 9:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

This . I do the same in my house and this isn’t a discussion at all. Makes bedtime much smoother and I know they have what they need if necessary.

So thank hashem that this works for your household and quit judging and attacking others for doing what works for them.
Parenting and running a home, is not a one size fits all.

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 9:57 pm

amother Red wrote:

I’ve personally always left a water bottle in my kids beds and they never spill. They can go to the bathroom as they please and we don’t really have accidents because of the water in bed What

Thanks, red. Am so reassured that there are other caring mums!

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, red. Am so reassured that there are other caring mums!

I hope you're realizing that you're gaslighting, and gaslighting is emotional abuse. So have a good look at yourself before calling others abusive.

Ema of 5

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks, red. Am so reassured that there are other caring mums!

Maybe this type of rhetoric is what’s not working for the moms here? I guess I must not be a caring mom, even though I have 4 different kids in 4 different schools, because that is what they each need? And the fact that I drive them all to and from school every day? And I provide them with fresh lunches and dinners? Their clothing is washed in a timely fashion? They get new clothing when they need it? None of that makes me a caring mom? It’s only whether or not I agree with you that, no matter how many times they ask, and no matter what they actually do with it, every time they ask for water after they have gone to bed I should gladly give them?

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:03 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

I hope you're realizing that you're gaslighting, and gaslighting is emotional abuse. So have a good look at yourself before calling others abusive.

Unfortunately we can all see what she's doing.

amother

Jade

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:05 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

I hope you're realizing that you're gaslighting, and gaslighting is emotional abuse. So have a good look at yourself before calling others abusive.

I'm acting as the unofficial moderator bec no moderator seems to be around. Also, I'm bored. Very Happy

For the second time Magenta, please no personal attacks or accusation.
OP, please stop responding to other people as they clearly don't agree with you.
Can I get a job as a moderator lol

amother

Chicory

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:06 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

You may find this thread entertaining, but that's just....rude

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:07 pm

amother Jade wrote:

I'm acting as the unofficial moderator bec no moderator seems to be around. Also, I'm bored. Very Happy

For the second time Magenta, please no personal attacks or accusation.
OP, please stop responding to other people as they clearly don't agree with you.
Can I get a job as a moderator lol

It's not meant as an attack. That is exactly what gaslighting is and OP needs to realize that instead of calling others abusive and cruel.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:08 pm

amother Jade wrote:

I'm acting as the unofficial moderator bec no moderator seems to be around. Also, I'm bored. Very Happy

For the second time Magenta, please no personal attacks or accusation.
OP, please stop responding to other people as they clearly don't agree with you.
Can I get a job as a moderator lol

Yeah, I don't think you have it exactly right.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

OP, this is called sarcasm.

FYI that was not sarcasm. I don’t think you can keep your kids from drinking water. I don’t think they need a cup of water near them if they spill. But if they ask for water bring them some and when they finish drinking take it back.. show them who’s in charge. But don’t tell them they can’t drink because they might spill.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

You may find this thread entertaining, but that's just....rude

I’ll tell you what’s rude… the way people are writing. I was responding to a different poster who said something to the effect of “if you wait to see what else OP will respond, you’ll have more fun.”
This whole thread is rude and needs to be locked asap.

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:13 pm

amother Jade wrote:

I'm acting as the unofficial moderator bec no moderator seems to be around. Also, I'm bored. Very Happy

For the second time Magenta, please no personal attacks or accusation.
OP, please stop responding to other people as they clearly don't agree with you.
Can I get a job as a moderator lol

Jade, your doing great. You are hired Very Happy

amother

Chicory

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:14 pm

I dont get it, if you feel this thread needs to be locked because you are not seeing a purpose in it, then exit this thread. No one is keeping you hostage here (besides for yourself)

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:15 pm

OP, when your kids are in shidduchim don't forget to ask the references if the mother deprived them of water at bedtime. You don't want your children ch"v marrying someone with all that unresolved trauma

amother

Chicory

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:15 pm

amother Jade wrote:

I'm acting as the unofficial moderator bec no moderator seems to be around. Also, I'm bored. Very Happy

For the second time Magenta, please no personal attacks or accusation.
OP, please stop responding to other people as they clearly don't agree with you.
Can I get a job as a moderator lol

Wow, I love this. An in-depth moderator. Everyone gets a personal comment! LOL

amother

Jade

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 10:16 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

I dont get it, if you feel this thread needs to be locked because you are not seeing a purpose in it, then exit this thread. No one is keeping you hostage here (besides for yourself)

It's being locked because people are name calling. Never make assumptions sweetie. Nice try though.