Fasting today? Insane

amother

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:41 am

How am I supposed to fast today?

Work part of the day, get kids, one of whom has some special needs (not crazy but still)…

I’m already falling asleep and cranky.

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:42 am

You don’t must. Many women don’t. If you feel you can’t, ask a rav if you can break it.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:44 am

Ask a sheila.
DH works in a warehouse in 100+ degree weather. He was told that he can drink today.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:45 am

My DH begged me to break it so I’m sitting down to eat it’s 2:45. The fast ends at 10:16.

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:48 am

Pls ask a rav, as a teacher and mother I didn't fast

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:50 am

I sometimes fast till Chatzos if it's too hard for me. Especially when my kids were younger and took more of my energy....

I remember once meeting a neighbor of mine on fast day, and I asked her how it was going...she had five little kids...she told me last fast, I was a "tzadeikes" and fasted. I told my kids Mommy is fasting, don't bother Mommy, go play, let Mommy rest, fight your own battles, etc.....and today, I'm not being such a "tzadeikes" and I'm not fasting....

amother

Maize

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:53 am

כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה (בבלי, תענית ל, ע"ב)

amother

Lemonlime

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:55 am

I’m BH expecting and nursing. No way am I fasting today—I didn’t even ask a shaila. Hope Hashem is okay with that. TMI

Will probably ask about Tisha B’Av though and YK.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 9:56 am

amother Maize wrote:

כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה (בבלי, תענית ל, ע"ב)

Ok, we can do so without fasting.

amother

Maize

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:00 am

amother Iris wrote:

Ok, we can do so without fasting.

The mitzvah is to fast. If you can't, then you're completely exempt. But otherwise, yes, you have to suffer a little bit in memory of the churban. I think there's a certain chizzuk in understanding that we endure fasting for a much greater payoff.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:01 am

amother Maize wrote:

The mitzvah is to fast. If you can't, then you're completely exempt. But otherwise, yes, you have to suffer a little bit in memory of the churban.

Nice way to make others feel guilty......
Btw, the mitzva is also no music, no haircuts, no new clothing. So don't worry about our suffering for the churban.

amother

Clover

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:05 am

amother Iris wrote:

Nice way to make others feel guilty......

I'm not fasting today (pregnant), but she's only saying the truth.

It's also different if you're litvish, chassidish, etc. Everyone should follow their rav and minhag.

My mother fasted every minor fast when pregnant. I don't really understand how or why she did that.

amother

Maize

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:07 am

amother Iris wrote:

Nice way to make others feel guilty......

If you aren't well enough to fast, there's zero guilt. I had to eat on Tisha b'av one year when I was pregnant. Breaking the fast when necessary is built into the system. The key is when necessary.

amother

Burntblack

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:10 am

I'm pretty sure that nearly all Poskim hold that you shouldn't fast when pregnant or nursing (or even not nursing but very young kids) except for YK and TB. It's not the type of thing you're supposed to be a heroine about so please ask!!
There were probably about 14 years that I only fasted YK and TB and from those there were actually 3 TB that I didn't fast because I had babies under a month.
I'm talking about Yeshivish or JPF.

amother

Maize

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:12 am

amother Iris wrote:

Nice way to make others feel guilty......
Btw, the mitzva is also no music, no haircuts, no new clothing. So don't worry about our suffering for the churban.

All of those are lower level forms of mourning than fasting, which actually appears in Tanach.

And please, don't be so defensive. I was trying to encourage a young mom who's trying to do a difficult mitzvah, by pointing out the reward.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:23 am

I'm working all day, but from home, and my youngest kids are out of the house until about 5:30.

I was told I have to fast because the nursing exemption goes away after two years, even if I am still nursing my toddler. I only nurse about 3 times per day on weekdays anyway, so I don't think it will be so dehydrating. So far so good, 11.5 more hours to go.

BetsyTacy

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:23 am

amother Burntblack wrote:

That is a big generalization. Please ask your own shaila

amother

White

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:24 am

[quote="amother Iris"]Nice way to make others feel guilty......
Btw, the mitzva is also no music, no haircuts, no new clothing. So don't worry about our suffering for the churban.[/quote

I disagree with you. She’s just saying truth
If one can fast, they should. If they cannot they should ask.
We can’t make up our own rules….

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 10:30 am

I'm saying this as someone who was raised with the Hashkafa that we fast, unless we can't. I want to elaborate on my previous post and say that also, a mother has to be realistic about the payoff. If she isn't really managing her kids well while fasting, that's "can't".