Getting Silly | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Getting Silly

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amother

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:39 pm

I don’t know what to do, my son who is 6 gets into these silly modes to an extreme, He will walk around with a silly voice talking to himself. He has a big imagination. I would look away and let him be, but the only thing is he really will get wild and aggressive and hurt other kids. For example he will walk down the block talking/singing to himself and will knock down a bike, or step on someone’s toes. These silly moments also happen before bedtime, he’ll jump around and shout things. He seems like he is in his own world. He will get like this when he’s bored or when he’s tired. I try so hard to prevent it by giving him things to do etc. Otherwise he is a smart, curious, social kid. I just don’t know how to handle these silly moments. He seems like he needs to be snapped out of it and I don’t know how…Any advice..?

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:41 pm

What happens if you join in and act silly with him?

amother

Tulip

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:47 pm

I would evaluate him might be something like asd.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:53 pm

My son, 6, also does that...he was evaluated and he is getting OT for sensory issues, slight anxiety...he is learning to express his feelings rather than act out, but it is hard work, because like your son, he is very smart, curious and has a huge imagination..

mushkamothers

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:54 pm

Silliness is dysregulation

smss

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:21 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

Silliness is dysregulation

I've heard that, what is the best way to help children regulate when they're already in the mode?
(I'm not OP but know exactly what she's talking about)

amother

Emerald

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:25 pm

I found that joining the child in the silliness is the fastest and easiest way to get them to snap out.
They need to feel safe. That you wont go crazy if they act crazy.

Easier said than done.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:45 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

Silliness is dysregulation

Can you explain?

amother

Blueberry

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:52 pm

Sounds like possible yeast overgrowth. It's been known to cause excessive silliness.

mushkamothers

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:54 pm

smss wrote:

I've heard that, what is the best way to help children regulate when they're already in the mode?
(I'm not OP but know exactly what she's talking about)

Sometimes I try doing something like full body input - wrap in blanket like a rugeleh or burrito, have then lay down in the nugget and sit on them like a waffle. Or get the giggles out by reading a silly book. But let's be honest I don't always have time or ability or patience.

If left on their own they get super wild and end up in tears for one reason or another. And the crying helps them calm down. Tears and giggles both help release stress and anxiety and naturally self regulate.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Jul 18 2023, 5:46 am

Op you say it happens when he's bored or tired
Maybe it's both lol

By trying to keep him busy you'll have some success but it won't always work, because hey what if he's to tired to focus on what you're trying to distract him with? What if he's not interested in that activity?
Ideally you want to teach him other ways of expressing those things... And that comes by a bit if being with him in his experience as another poster said
Another thing id recommend is having a discussion with him during a calm time when you're both in a relaxed place about how he felt, what he felt he needed, why he did what he did, did it make him feel fulfilled/good/distracted form his real feelings- help him understand himself. This conversation will only be productive if you really come from a place of curiosity wanting to understand your son better, and it may take him time to open up and even to think about it himself with an open mind- best is leaving him with some open ended questions to think about and see what purpose the behavior serves and did he get what he wanted to get by acting like this. Is there another way to get there. Or maybe he got somewhere that he didn't even intend to go. Empathize with his experience. It's very hard to do. And honestly, may be a bigger process fit you as the parent than for son when having the discussion
Hatzalacha OP Heart

amother

Springgreen

Tue, Jul 18 2023, 8:50 am

OP I have the exact same thing. My son is almost 8 and he’s been like this for years. He’s such a good boy otherwise, calm, smart, plays well with others, totally normal. And then something snaps and he acts like an insane person. Like literally making weird noises, shouting nonsense, bothering siblings, and yes, if left to his own devices will always end in violence. All the while he’s cackling strangely. When he’s in these modes he does not seem 100%.
I saw up thread someone mentioned it’s disregulation. Should I have him evaluated for OT?

salt

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 1:25 am

amother Springgreen wrote:

Does he act like this only when he's with you? Same question to OP.
Or does he behave like that sometimes in school, or at a friend's house?

If it's just at home, or with his immediate family I think it's less worrying - it could be that he just feels super comfortable and lets loose, and/or wants a bit of attention.

I don't understand why people run so quickly to get these scary sounding diagnoses. 6 or 8 is little.
They're just little kids, and they don't know they look strange when they act this way.

I like the idea of joining in with them - they might see how silly they look and snap out of it.

On the other hand, 6-8 is also old enough to sit them down and have a talk - not at the moment, when they are acting out, but at a different time - explain to your son that he's already big and it's a little silly and embarrassing to act like that - you could make a secret sign between you that you give him to remind him to cool down a bit.
What if you were to film him in the act, and show it to him afterwards - that could give him an incentive to stop when he sees how awful he looks.

Just a few ideas.

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 10:47 am

salt wrote:

Your third and fourth paragraphs contradict each other

mushkamothers

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 10:50 am

salt wrote:

Behavioral conditioning without understanding the behavior or trying to find a root cause (which as I said is likely dysregulation)

amother

Honeysuckle

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 11:18 am

mushkamothers wrote:

Behavioral conditioning without understanding the behavior or trying to find a root cause (which as I said is likely dysregulation)

Goes both ways though. It might be behavioral conditioning that causes the dysregulation to be let out in a specific silly way when they're older and are able to address it in a more appropriate way. Seen it with 9-11 ages.

salt

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 1:38 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Your third and fourth paragraphs contradict each other

I guess I meant that they don't realize how silly they look, but if they were to see someone else doing it, they might realize.

amother

Tulip

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 7:10 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

Sounds like possible yeast overgrowth. It's been known to cause excessive silliness.

That’s oddly specific.

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