 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
|
amother
OP
|
 Fri, Aug 11 2023, 3:42 pm
Nothing is right enough for him.
The chicken is too crunchy. The toys are too boring. We don’t get ice cream every time the truck comes. If anything doesn’t go his way he is liable to have a meltdown, kicking and screaming and throwing things on the floor.
It’s too much for me to keep my cool with him
Please help
My other kids have a much more reasonable personality
| |
|
| Back to top |
 2
 1
|
mha3484
|
Fri, Aug 11 2023, 3:54 pm
Does he have sensory issues? I have an 8 year old that is very high strung its part sensory/part anxiety/part adhd. He has amazing qualities but he also looses his cool pretty easily too. Its very hard but I have seen improvements over the years. Some stuff that helped was:
1) HALT: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. A social worker taught me this. I find that being on top of these needs and being proactive prevents a lot of the negative behavior. Usually my sons outbursts can be directly tied to one of the 4. He was really loosing it the other night while being really resistant to going to bed. 20 minutes after the meltdown he was asleep.
2) OT for the sensory issues has been super helpful
3) Meds for ADHD/Anxiety
4) Collaborative Problem Solving.
I remind myself of all his good qualities because he has so many! He is a great boy! But he is the example of the mantra when someone is giving you a hard time they are having an even harder time themself.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 12:01 pm
|
Ok so here’s what just happened. He wanted help with some electronic toy but spoke disrespectfully. I told him to ask me nicely. He began threatening to hit me with it so I left to go to my room. As I left he took the toy and smashed it against the counter. I took the toy away and brought him forcefully to his room. Of course he left, tried hitting me etc and everything spiraled out of control. He doesn’t get fazed by consequences- doesn’t care about his possessions at all. I’ve been yelling at him now since I don’t know what other tools to use and I just want to cry and cry in my room all day because I have no idea how to handle him
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
0
|
mha3484
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 12:25 pm
|
Have you considered having him evaluated?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 1:00 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | Have you considered having him evaluated? |
Yes. It’s not adhd or any other dx. He’s great in the classroom.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 1:06 pm
I feel like there’s something missing in my ability to figure it out. I read the explosive child and 5-10 other parenting books. I am in therapy. But when push comes to shove, and that kid gets out of control- touching relatives just a bit too frequently, not sitting down at the table or playing in the designated toy room but instead running around screaming while a relative’s baby is sleeping, getting upset frequently and trying to throw and break things, not being able to stick to a chart/understand threat of consequences… then I lose my cool
My therapist just says try harder or plan better but I can’t.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
#BestBubby
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 1:21 pm
Ask a good BCBA for advice.
Even if your DS isn't ASD the behavior plan may still be helpful.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Watermelon
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 2:03 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I feel like there’s something missing in my ability to figure it out. I read the explosive child and 5-10 other parenting books. I am in therapy. But when push comes to shove, and that kid gets out of control- touching relatives just a bit too frequently, not sitting down at the table or playing in the designated toy room but instead running around screaming while a relative’s baby is sleeping, getting upset frequently and trying to throw and break things, not being able to stick to a chart/understand threat of consequences… then I lose my cool
My therapist just says try harder or plan better but I can’t. |
I'm wondering if he has sensory needs. Have you looked into OT?
I'm also seeing a strong willed highly sensitive child. Can be draining to parent. Also I believe these children grow into the most delightful adults when their energy is channelled in the proper direction.
Sounds like you are already trying hard. I think need different. What are you doing to take care of you? Has anything in the books you've read resonated as something that may be helpful for him?
Can you move away from a "how can I control his behaviour" paradigm to a "what does he need now" paradigm? (I know much easier said than done!)
Wishing you lots of Hatzlacha.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Oak
|
Sun, Aug 13 2023, 2:04 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I feel like there’s something missing in my ability to figure it out. I read the explosive child and 5-10 other parenting books. I am in therapy. But when push comes to shove, and that kid gets out of control- touching relatives just a bit too frequently, not sitting down at the table or playing in the designated toy room but instead running around screaming while a relative’s baby is sleeping, getting upset frequently and trying to throw and break things, not being able to stick to a chart/understand threat of consequences… then I lose my cool
My therapist just says try harder or plan better but I can’t. |
What kind of evaluation did you do? He sounds exactly like my ADHDer.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
How to handle the pain
|
4 |
Tue, Apr 16 2024, 9:56 am  |
|
|
How to handle hurting
|
3 |
Mon, Apr 08 2024, 11:34 pm |
|
|
How do you handle your son’s bris?? The crying…
|
50 |
Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:33 pm |
|
|
How to handle toddler that hits for fun?
|
15 |
Mon, Mar 25 2024, 4:00 pm |
|
|
How do you handle your kids nosh?
|
36 |
Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:22 am |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
