is this odd behavior for a 3 year old?

supermommy

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 8:18 pm

my 3 yr old ds has some odd quirks and I'm begining to wonder if this is even normal.
He is REALLY afraid of bugs to the extent that he won't eat in a room where he saw something move or fly even a teeny fruit fly. If he sees a speck on his leg (a mark he accidentally made with a marker earlier in day) he goes balistic screaming and crying untill I convince him that it's nothing.
Now he won't even sleep in his bed because he keeps thinking there's something in his bed whether it's a peice of lint from his sock or just the pattern of the sheet. He cries hysterically over it and just won't settle down. Is this normal? What can I do about it short of putting white sheets on his bed and cleaning his toes every night?

Laughing Bag!

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 8:45 pm

it must be so frusterating to keep up with the fears of your son it sounds like phobias I dont know the exact one but you might want to find out and see if you can do sometyhing to ease it . he should grow it out though. speak to his pediatrician maybe. good luck!

GAMZu

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 8:54 pm

My son developed strange fears when he was almost 3. He became terrified of his crib, especially the levers that open and close the drop rail. He called them Lor.

He wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't enter his room, he would keep talking about it day and night.

The only thing that worked for us was to put away the crib and eventually sell it.

The speck on the leg issue is understandable- he feels like he's "broken" if something isn't perfect about him.

amother

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 9:05 pm

Usually at or about age 3, imaginations of young children are sparked and bugs seem very threatening to them. The natural response of a parent is to talk the child out of their fear, but that actually makes things worse for the child.
Instead acknowledge the fear, while remaining calm yourself. Assure him of your protection and support. When children see that you take their concerns seriously, they feel closer to you and are more ready to work through the fears.
One of the fastest ways to help, though, is to provide opportunities to play with NON-THREATENING versions of the object of their fear. You can get games like "Ants in the Pants" or invest in a small ant farm (which would put the object behind glass and in his control.)

Also, lots of time children will sense your reaction or fear to a certain thing. Are you fearful of bugs? Has your child ever seen you react in terror when faced by a creepy crawly?

morahg

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 9:19 pm

Generally speaking, anything that interferes with a child's day to day activities in such an extreme manner for a prolonged period of time (I.e. not just a reaction that lasts a couple of days to seeing a scary movie, or something) warrants a call to a professional. RELIEF can refer you to some good people. I think a call to a social worker/psychologist might be in order.

NotInNJMommy

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 9:31 pm

amother wrote:

At my ds's 3 yr physical, the pediatrician mentioned just this thing (that imaginations are sparked), and to be careful about what I show him and aware that things which didn't scare him before could scare him now. He also added the same advice about how to deal with it. So this might just be an extreme case of something normal.

bebe3

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 9:41 pm

In order for something to be considered a clinically significant phobia in children, it needs to have persisted for 6 months. fear of animals is a common fear in kids, but if he has other anxieties this may be just an expression of a more general anxiety. It doesn't mean you shouldn't check out more information on this or get further help.
Just try and keep your kid sleeping in his bed so he can eventually see that he is safe and does not have bugs in there. But if you let him sleep in your bed or anywhere else, it won't help him get rid of his fear. Just keep soothing him.
Get in touch with a child psychologist, they might have some better recommendations for you.

mumoo

Sun, Jul 20 2008, 12:03 am

Quote:

One of the fastest ways to help, though, is to provide opportunities to play with NON-THREATENING versions of the object of their fear. You can get games like "Ants in the Pants" or invest in a small ant farm (which would put the object behind glass and in his control.)

I agree here. Threes are just starting to realize they are not part of you and to some extent they have to watch out for themselves. Bugs can be frightening and provoke a feeling of being out of control of your environment (side note: when people dream about bugs one interpretation I heard is that we are overwhelmed with housework Mad

)

Point out crawling bugs (less out of control than the flying ones). Show him from a comfortable distance how fascinating they can be. Tell him the story of Dovid hamelech and the spider. Make bugs natural. Your attitude will be very influential, also.

cubbie

Sun, Jul 20 2008, 2:19 am

My dd is 3 1/2 and she has this past week started to wake up in the middle of the night crying that there are bugs in her bed when there aren't any, I know that one friends' son gets scared of trucks coming into his room in the night.

BlumaG

Sun, Jul 20 2008, 3:26 pm

recently in parenting class we learned about fears
we were told if I remember correctly to ask the child when he's calm to describe the color of the fear (black, red, blue, green...) and the size
I can't exactly remember whaty after that but ot talk with them and agree with them and tell them you are always there for them etc...
that they r stronger maybe
if you talk about it often enuf I think she said the fear will go down n u'll know that by the size of it will go down and the color will lighten