DD9 gets taken out of class for extra help during the lesson

amother

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 6:47 pm

I am very for it! She needs the extra help during literacy class and Im happy that way otherwise she wouldn't be getting that much attention in the classroom. She could probably cope in the classroom during that lesson but here she gets individual attention which will enable her to do understand/do her work better.
Problem is, she comes home complaining that she doesn't want to be different from her class and that shes not that bad at reading and writing for her to go out... I told her that maybe for now she should try it for a while and if she really hates it then ill speak to her teacher. I also explained to her that it will help her in the long run...
She doesn't want to. Shes sort of accepted it already especially since she spoke to her teacher and she had told her that, thats the decision for now...
I feel so bad for her because she hates being different.
Should I call the teacher?
Im happy to do homework with her every day instead if need be.

amother

Oatmeal

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 6:53 pm

If you really are going to work with her, then it’s fine to stop services.

If you’ll do it the first few weeks and then forget about it then you’re doing her a disservice.

amother

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 6:54 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

If you really are going to work with her, then it’s fine to stop services.

If you’ll do it the first few weeks and then forget about it then you’re doing her a disservice.

true.
Im happy to do it with her. If I get too busy I can get a girl to come to my house and do it.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 6:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

true.
Im happy to do it with her. If I get too busy I can get a girl to come to my house and do it.

I'd get a tutor in the first place. Learning with a parent, may not be easy for a child. Parent and kid can get easily flustered. You'd have to be completely focused on her without interruption or distraction.

amother

Plum

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 7:20 pm

It comes down to a money question really. If you can afford tutoring and the added expense is worthwhile to you when compared to the degree of how unhappy your daughter is, then go with tutoring.

notshanarishona

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 7:25 pm

Intervention Specialist here: it’s very common for kids to resent going out. If she needs the help, I would try to encourage her. The kids have a long day and after school tutoring is not always practical. I would give it a few weeks, many times title one or small groups are more fun than in the classroom . Also make sure she isn’t missing anything fun and the teacher gives her whatever tickets/ token economy everyone gets

silverlining3

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 7:54 pm

I am in the same boat.

Mid summer my dd mentioned she hopes she won't need to go out anymore coming year. I am paying out of pocket for additional help, on sundays and fridays.

It breaks my heart but I will continue to have her taken out until she will be up to par iyh. I know I can't take that responsibility on myself.

I daven to Hashem

amother

Pink

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 7:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

She goes out with another 4/5 girls

This would change my vote to trying to join the group going out. The original post had me thinking it was just her- this really changes the picture so you may want to edit original post

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 7:59 pm

amother Pink wrote:

This would change my vote to trying to join the group going out. The original post had me thinking it was just her- this really changes the picture so you may want to edit original post

Yes, I would definitely have her go out. It feels like a big deal now, but it won't be in a few weeks. Assuming she's gaining from it, it's really good to give her a step up now so that she'll be able to keep up with everyone else as she gets older and everyhting gets harder.

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 9:54 pm

A few of my children were regularly taken out of class for help. They must have done a good job because my kids felt special and got prizes from the teacher who took them out. They never complained to me.

One child did so well that they wanted to use her growth as an example of how well their program worked. (They just used her basic info, nothing specific like her name).

Try making your dd feel good about herself and that it's a special priviledge to be taken out.

bsy

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 9:58 pm

What's the school culture like? In the school I work at, tons and tons of students go out and it's not considered "weird" or different. When I was a kid, barely anyone went out and it was a statement if someone did....

amother

Firethorn

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:10 pm

I teach that exact age.

Students who get pulled into small group tutoring get pulled for very good reason. They are significantly missing skills or deficient in certain academic areas.

I have students who don’t want to get pulled.
When mothers ask me what to do, I tell them that I can’t in good conscience advice them to pull UNLESS they will hire a private tutor who will help their daughter with those skills out of school with at least the same frequency and intensity. (I.e. 30 minutes four times a week.)

However, as a different poster said, most girls are not embarrassed to leave class for group tutoring. I find that for most students who want out it’s due to not wanting to miss fun in class, and less about the stigma. For that, the classroom teacher is going to have to reassure her that there won’t be too much fun (stories, games, songs) while she’s out.

Hatzlacha.

amother

Jean

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:16 pm

She's behind in reading? That's all? Because I would just have her read every day for 15 minutes. That is the best way to get her reading up to par.

Can you share what skills she is missing?

(I am a little knowledgeable in teaching reading one on one)