Had shiurim for the first time ever

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:38 pm

Did all my hishtadlus - hydrated a lot the days preceding YK, been off caffeine for over a week, ate balanced meals without overeating, drank electrolyte drink, took pele tzom pills and slow-release acetaminophen right before the fast. Got the WORST headache shortly after YK started and was up every 30-45 minutes needing the bathroom (usually it’s every couple hours). I’m 30 weeks pregnant BH but my last pregnancy and last YK when I was nursing my toddler was way better. I did not daven this year other than brachos/shma, one ashamnu, and one avinu malkeinu. I felt horrid all day - nauseous, headachy, and exhausted. Was losing it in front of my toddler and I really try not to cry or otherwise show major overwhelm in front of my kid when I’m able to compartmentalize better. I was afraid I would collapse and finally at 2:30 pm I started drinking 1 oz of electrolyte drink every six minutes (what the rav had said to do if I started having contractions which bli ayin hara I didn’t). Did that for an hour and went to lie down when DH finally came home from mussaf.

Hope I’m not chayev kareis, but if I am then it’s G-d’s fault for screwing me over when I did everything right. I’m so frustrated. Punch

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:42 pm

Don’t beat yourself up, you did the best you could. If your rav told you to take shiurim then why do you feel bad? You asked a shailah and did as you were told. Hashem is not a monster he won’t kill you for this Hug

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:45 pm

I have a medicine I have to take every morning with some liquid and a touch of food, so I’ve done shiurim the last two years to get it down (and keep it down). Still felt like plenty of a fast day bh

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:45 pm

And I was coughing ALL DAY. Toddler also seems to be coming down with something.

Rav said only to do shiurim if I had contractions but I was really afraid I would collapse and not be able to take care of my kiddo. No contractions BH but feeling horrible. So I feel like I listened to my body at the expense of following daas Torah. I’m so upset and still feeling sick.

Ema of 5

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:47 pm

Refua shelaima OP, I hope you feel better!
You are by far not a monster, and in my humble opinion you are also not chayev kareis. Shiurim exist for a reason. I can’t remember the last time I DIDNT do shiurim on Yom Kippur. I do shiurim the entire time I’m awake, no matter how I’m feeling. If I wait until I’m not feeling well, even slightly, it will be too late.
BH I wasn’t alone today, my mom is here. My 10 month old was being….well, a typical 10 month old, and my 7 year old was being herself. BH since my mom was here, and my baby is still young enough to take naps, I was able to get in a few naps today.
The real test will be tomorrow morning…..BH right now I’m feeling ok but slightly nauseous. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will take care of that.

amother

Emerald

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:56 pm

I’m also 30 weeks and picked up a stomach bug. Spent all day vomiting. My rav also said shiurim only if I had contractions. I started having cramps and wasn’t sure if they were stomach cramps or contractions so I had some drinks like you, feeling very guilty! (I threw that up too though so not too guilty lol) BH I am feeling better now that I am able to drink and eat slowly. I hope you feel better too and don’t beat yourself up!

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 8:58 pm

Thank you all for the support and reassurance. Hug

I still feel like I fasted for 24 out of 25 hours but saw on another thread that apparently some Rav told another poster that doing shiurim doesn’t count as fasting. What the actual ****. If it doesn’t count that I fasted anyway, I may as well have done shiurim all YK…but I didn’t because I kept telling myself I could last a little bit longer, til I started feeling really really bad.

I think pregnancy should be an automatic ptur from fasting. Seriously.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:06 pm

Don't beat yourself up. You did your best and you followed the guidelines you were given. I'm also pregnant and ended up doing shiurim (and it still felt plenty like fasting to me--I'm still dehydrated and have a headache and other symptoms now.

That pregnancy shiurim thread before yomtov was so unnecessarily nasty and judgemental. I also had those voices in my head Rolling Eyes

.

I really believe Hashem takes our individual circumstances into account.

amother

Gardenia

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:07 pm

You did great OP!
I hope it's ok with you, I read your post to my husband who is a Rav to ask if you should feel bad and he looked at me like I fell from the moon. He said"Why does she feel guilty? She fasted, she took care of herself and her baby, she took care of her other kids at home, and she feels guilty?"

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:08 pm

amother Gardenia wrote:

Don't know if this will make you feel better...
My husband was told if he has certain symptoms to drink down tonz of water... no shiurim. And then continue fasting. Doing that would not be considered breaking his fast.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:12 pm

Why would you be chayav kareis, drinking shiurim is counted as fasting.
You did your best and you did wonderfully. Why are you beating yourself up and feeling guilty? It's the yetzer hara trying to interfere with your Yom kippur. Leave it alone.
You fasted, you're pregnant, you felt sick all day. You get 100%. Let's move on to sukkos bsimcha!!! We were successful! We did teshuva! Time to rejoice with Hashem!

imasinger

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:13 pm

OP, I suggest you reach out to your rav and share your story. I realize your first reaction to this idea will probably be "NO WAY", but think about it.

There are two possibilities. One is that he tells you that you should/could have done something different. (I put the odds against that). If that were the case, by your having shared the situation, you would already have done some significant teshuvah, and he could probably tell you what to do to clear any leftover feelings of guilt.

However, the more likely option is that he would tell you that you did what you had to, and then you won't have to feel guilty at all.

Either way, it's a win.

B'sha'ah tovah!

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:57 pm

Thank you all so much Hug

I really really appreciate the support especially bc I’ve been feeling physically horrible and emotionally like a failure all day. Your replies are helping. I just took two Tylenol (wish Advil were safe during pregnancy) and a Benadryl and hopefully I will actually sleep tonight.

Gmar tov everyone 💕

amother

Dahlia

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 10:05 pm

It’s very tough. Some people have it harder during fasts , so I can never judge. I had a crazy time today too, toddler throwing up, pregnant etc but I’m a great faster.
If you drank shiurim you’re fine in my opinion

amother

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 8:12 am

honey36 wrote:

Just for future years, I heard the Pele tzom pills can sometimes make you feel worse during a fast. Maybe skip those next time. Hope you feel better soon!

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking might have been part of the problem. Could not find kali tzom but thought they seem to be the same thing… Apparently not so much. Surprised

chili-n-cholent

Tue, Sep 26 2023, 12:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking might have been part of the problem. Could not find kali tzom but thought they seem to be the same thing… Apparently not so much. Surprised

I took them one year and felt horrid during the fast and I'm usually a good faster, never again...